The Fear of Striking Out

“Strangely, I’ve never been to one of Barry’s parties,” Robin said as they drove to Barry’s house.

Tessa rolled her eyes and continued to stare out the window. Tim looked into the rear view mirror and saw from Tessa’s body language that she was not happy. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her lips formed a straight line. He held back a smile as he returned his direction back on the road.

Robin turned her head in his direction and asked, “You’re not planning on drinking tonight are you?”

When Tim finally realized her question was directed at him, he replied, “Um…not really.”

“Well, if you do go overboard, I’ll drive us back to your place. It’s one thing to get pulled over and get charged with possession of marijuana, but it’s another to get a DUI,” she said, nonchalantly.

Tessa’s eyes widened and couldn’t believe Robin had made that comment. She was about to say something, when they arrived at the party.

“We’re here,” Tim said as they parked. As Robin unbuckled her seatbelt, Tim let her know that he had to make a quick call and would be right in, while Tessa pretended to message someone from her phone.

When he saw Robin had made her way to the front door, Tim turned around to face Tessa. “Are you okay?” he asked.

Tessa looked up from her phone. “Sure. Why do you ask?” she replied.

“You seem upset, is all,” he answered.

Tessa shrugged her shoulders. “No. Just annoyed, really.”

“That’s probably the better word to describe the vibe you’re putting out.”

Tessa looked ashamed. “Sorry. I’m annoyed with more than just her, but at the moment it is her,” she admitted.

Tim wasn’t surprised. “I figured. Your mood completely changed as soon as she came over,” he pointed out.

Tessa shook her head. “I just wasn’t expecting her to come. If I had known, I would’ve mentally prepared myself,” she half-joked.

Tim smiled. “To be fair, I didn’t even know she was joining us. I mean, I mentioned the party to her a few days ago, but she said she had to go out of town, so I didn’t think she was coming. But she said her plans got cancelled and decided to surprise me,” he explained. “She was actually kinda upset that you were at my place,” he recalled from their earlier conversation at his place.

“Why? I haven’t done anything to her,” Tessa responded.

Tim shrugged his shoulders and looked down for a moment. “She thinks you have a crush on me and there’s something between us. That and she said she’s pretty sure you don’t like her.” His eyes met hers when he finished his sentence.

It felt like a baited statement and she was tired of conversations involving her and Tim’s feelings for each other. “So, are you two together now?” she asked, wanting to know out of curiosity and wanting to just change the subject.

Tim was surprised she asked that question and didn’t really know what to tell her, so they sat in silence for a minute. “Sorry. Never mind, it’s none of my business,” she said as she was starting to open the door.

“We’re not. I mean, we’ve gone out a few times and hung out with you and Brian and Zito, but nothing official. But, like I said, I’m not looking to date or be serious with anyone.”

“Then you might wanna remind her of that…” she said quietly.

They walked to the front door in silence, though the booming music coming from inside was enough to break it. A second or two after they walked in, Tessa felt a hand grab her wrist and pull her to the side.

“Where the hell were you? I saw Robin walk in alone and then I see you and Tim walk in together…” Tessa eyes met Emily’s curious expression.

“I was trying to get ahold of Brian. Tim was on the phone with someone,” she lied.

Emily narrowed her eyes at Tessa, trying to decipher if she was telling the truth or hiding something. Tessa gave her the best poker face she could muster.

“So, did you get ahold of your beloved?” Emily countered.

Tessa broke a smile and laughed. “He’s not my beloved. And no, I didn’t. Haven’t been able to since he called this morning,” she answered sadly.

Emily noticed the hint of sadness in her voice and dragged her to the kitchen and handed her a shot. “Cheer up! Let’s just have fun tonight!” she yelled over the music and chatter of people.

Tessa looked at the shot in her hand and shrugged. Why not? She thought. “To having fun!” she exclaimed, raising her shot glass in the air.

Emily laughed and raised her glass next to Tessa’s before taking the shot.



Tim spent a good portion of the night talking to the other players, sipping a couple of beers, and ignoring Robin. His eyes would wander around the area from time to time hoping to spot Tessa amongst the crowd, but with so many people, it was hard to catch her.

After a while, Tim felt bad for leaving Robin alone on a couch and took one long last sip of his beer before joining her. “Having fun?” he asked, though already knowing her answer.

She took a quick look at him and then sat back into the couch, “Not really. I feel so out of place here,” she admitted.

Tim sighed and followed her actions, gently letting his back rest on the couch. “I’m sorry. I should’ve introduced you around and not wander off.”

“Yeah, that would’ve been nice,” she whispered, though very audible to Tim.

He got up and took her hand in his and helped her up from the couch. “Fine, let’s make the rounds and get you networking.”

She smiled at his gesture and nodded her head. “Ok. Let’s get social.”

Before they could make their way to some of Tim’s friends, Barry came up to them looking a bit alarmed. “Hey, l think you need to take Tessa home already.”

Tim let go of Robin’s hand and stepped towards Barry. His face looked concerned. “What happened? Is she okay? Where is she?” he asked frantically.

Barry grabbed ahold of Tim’s shoulders and smiled. “She’s fine. She’s in the kitchen with my sister.”

Tim eyed him curiously. “Then why do I need to take her home?”

Barry sighed. “She’s drunk. She needs to go home,” he answered.

Robin stood next to Tim. “Why can’t she just stay here?” she asked, joining in the conversation.

Tim and Barry both looked at her. “Because, Amber comes home tomorrow morning and I can’t have random people sleeping around this place when she gets here.”

Tim dug into his pocket and took out his car keys.” Here, can you go get the car and drive?” he asked handing the keys to Robin.

She looked bewildered as she watched Tim walk away. “Where are you going?” she asked.

Tim didn’t bother stopping to answer her and kept on his path to the kitchen. He spotted Emily sitting on one of the stools and sprawled across the counter. His eyes then wandered to the girl sitting at the kitchen table with her head laying on one of the place mats. Tim smiled for some reason and laughed to himself.

He walked up her and gently placed one of his hands on her shoulder. “Hey, Tessa are you awake? Come on, it’s time to go home,” he whispered.

Tessa groaned as Tim tried to get her up from the chair. He wasn’t as lanky as he used to be and could hold his own, but he began to struggle holding Tessa up as she was pretty much deadweights on his shoulder and she had a hard time walking.

Her legs finally gave out from under her and she slowly slid to the ground. “Why haven’t you answered me?” she asked as Tim helped her up.

He gave her a puzzled look. Her eyes were closed as she laid her head on top his shoulder. He knew that he wouldn’t make it to his car if he had to get there this way. He decided to carry her out through the garage so they wouldn’t cause a scene out at the party.

Tim wrapped her arms around his neck and placed his arm under her knees and with all his strength, lifted her up towards his chest. He was relieved on how much easier it was to carry her. Her skin felt warm and soft to the touch. His thumb traced her skin causing goose bumps to appear involuntarily.

“Brian, you haven’t answered me all day,” she said.

Tim looked down at her. Her eyes were still closed and she nestled her head on the crook of his neck. “Tessa, I’m not Brian,” he answered.

She nuzzled her head closer to him, sending a shiver down his spine and giving him goose bumps. “You smell good.”

He almost let out a laugh, but smiled at the compliment. “No I don’t. I smell like beer and sweat,” he remarked.

“No. You smell like Tim.”

He stopped in the middle of his tracks. He felt his cheeks grow warm and probably a light shade of red. He could feel his heart race a little faster. “That’s because I am Tim.”

She finally opened her eyes and looked up at him. She smiled and placed a hand gently on his cheek, caressing it. “Oh, hey Tim. When did you get here?”

He continued walking, spotting his car a few feet away. “Oh, I’ve been here awhile,” he responded back.

Robin got out of the driver’s side and opened the back seat door for Tim. “Did she really need to be carried?” she asked.

“Um…yeah? It was hard getting her to walk. This was easier and faster,” he answered in an annoyed tone.

Tim gently put her in the back seat, making sure not to hit her head on any parts of the car, and with a little difficulty, buckled her in.

When he and Robin both got settled into their seats and fastened their seat belts, Robin asked, “Where does she live?” she asked, turning around to face them.

She saw Tim brush a few strands of Tessa’s hair out of her face and narrowed her eyes at them. “Oh no, just head back to my place.”

“Why?” she questioned.

Tim rolled his eyes, beginning to feel frustrated. “Robin, please, could you just drive us back to my place?” he asked, his voiced raised a little.

Robin turned back around and began to drive. The car ride was anything but enjoyable, unless you counted Tessa’s incoherent ramblings and mumble enjoyable. Tim thought they were funny, though. Luckily, it didn’t take them long to get to his place.

Robin opened the front door to Tim’s while Tim carried Tessa inside. “So, do you need me to drive her car and follow you to her place?” she asked.

Tim laid Tessa on one of the sofas and then faced Robin. “No, that’s okay. I think it’s best if she stayed here.”

Robin placed her hands on her hips. “Have her stay here? Just you and her alone here?” she questioned.

Tim couldn’t believe what she was implying. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he almost yelled. “She’s fucking drunk and you honestly think something is going to happen between the two of us?”

Robin felt embarrassed by her insinuation. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Tim shook his head. “I’m going to put her in the guest bedroom. Do you mind changing her out of her clothes and into some others? I’d understand if you didn’t want.”

Robin nodded her head and followed Tim to a guest bedroom. He gently laid Tessa on the bed and left the room to get another pair of clothes. He returned with an old T-shirt and a pair of clean boxers.

“There, I think that should be good. I’ll be in the living room,” he said as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

While Robin changed Tessa, Tim fed Cy and then looked through his cabinets for some aspirin. He was startled by Robin’s appearance. “You scared the shit out of me.”

She laughed. “Sorry. She’s changed. I left her clothes on the bed and her phone and wristlet on the nightstand. She seems to be okay,” she said, turning her head towards the room Tessa was in.

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone that drunk before.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “She’s twenty-one and probably just needed a release from school and everything. Didn’t you ever get a little crazy at that age?”

She shook her head. “No. I guess I’ve always been more on the serious side and get to the top of my work and career. Anyways, I think I should head out now,” she said walking towards the front door.

Tim followed behind her. “Look, Robin. I’m sorry about tonight.”

“It’s fine. It made me realize something,” she responded.

“And what’s that?” he asked curiously.

“That we’re just incompatible. I mean, I thought I wanted to be with someone different than me, but after tonight, I realized that I need someone who is like me and is on the same page as me. Not that you’re not a great guy, obviously, you have a big heart and care about your friends, but I don’t know. Do I make sense?” she asked, finally looking into his eyes.

He smiled and nodded his head. “I get it.”

She gave him a hug and a quick peck on the cheek. After she left, Tim grabbed a bottle of water and the aspirin and walked into the room Tessa was in. Her arms were sprawled over her head and one leg was perpendicular to the other. He set the water and medicine on her nightstand and smiled at her. Her head was turned towards him and he could see her chest rise and fall as she breathed. He walked to the bathroom and grabbed the trashcan and set it next to her bedside, just in case she got sick in the middle of the night.

Once he got everything situated, Tim covered her up with a blanket. “You’re something else Tessa. Good night,” he whispered before leaning down to kiss her forehead.