The Fear of Striking Out

Tim saw the hurt look on Tessa’s face when she came over to where they were. The fake smile she wore hid a lot more than pain.

“Emily, it’s nice to see you again,” Amber said, walking around the counter to give Emily a hug. She looked past Emily and noticed Tessa. “And who’s your friend? I don’t think we’ve met,” she asked, her gaze in Tessa’s direction.

“Oh, this is my friend and coworker, Tessa,” she introduced. “Tessa, this is my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Amber.”

Tessa smiled and said hello, extending her hand out for Amber to shake. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Amber replied. “Em, you had me thinking you had finally brought home a date.”

“Nope, besides Tess is kinda taken,” Emily said, nudging Tessa’s arm. “But I did hit on her when I trained her for work. She turned me down nicely though.” Tessa couldn’t help but laugh at the memory.

Emily’s attention turned towards the blonde woman, who was now standing next to Tim. “And who’s this?” she asked.

“Robin,” the woman said, extending her hand.

“You’re a friend of my brother’s?” Emily asked, shaking her hand.

“Actually, she’s my friend,” Amber interjected. “I had been trying forever to set her and Tim up. And now that he’s single and she isn’t busy, I finally could,” she said proudly.

“It’s been long overdue. I had heard so much about the “oh, so famous Tim Lincecum”, it was nice to finally meet him,” Robin said, looking back at Tim with a smile.

Tessa rolled her eyes out of habit and gazed her attention to Barry cooking. She thought maybe could help – quicken the cooking process. The sooner dinner was ready, the sooner they could eat, and the sooner they could leave.

Tim would glance in Tessa’s direction, noticing she looked a little irritated. He too was starting to feel irritated or actually more uncomfortable of being the topic of conversation.

“Yo, Zito! What time man? I’m fucking starving dude,” Tim shouted.

Emily and Tessa almost laughed at Robin’s face when she heard Tim cuss. No one else seemed to mind.

“Such a potty mouth you have,” she commented.

Barry laughed. “You have no idea. Tim will drop the F-bomb without any warning. He even said it on live television once,” he said with a chuckle, remembering that night perfectly.

Dinner was taking a little long to cook, so Emily, Tessa, and Amber decided to help, leaving Tim and Robin to themselves. Every once in a while, Tessa would subtly glance at them, trying to assess the situation. They were either laughing or one of them would listen with a smile as the other spoke.

“Come and eat!” Zito yelled.

Amber had set up the table and helped Barry carry the food to it. Everything smelled delicious and looked tasty, though, Tessa had no idea what anything was.

“So, Tessa, Barry told me you had a date with Brian earlier. How was that?” Amber asked.

Tessa swallowed her food, her throat suddenly feeling dry. “It was fun,” she smiled.

“I heard he took you on a helicopter ride around the city.”

Tessa nodded her head, feeling flushed with embarrassment that the conversation was about her.

“Wow! A helicopter ride? Your boyfriend must really love you,” Robin beamed.

Tessa’s eyes widened and she quickly shook her head. “Oh, no. He’s not my boyfriend. We’re just…dating,” she answered, hoping to clear the air.

“Oh, I see. But still, that was a sweet thing to do for a date.”

Tessa had to agree. It was beyond sweet.

“Can I ask you something?” Amber asked. Tessa nodded. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but the age difference doesn’t bother you?”

The question came at a surprise. She really hadn’t thought about their age difference that much. In fact, it didn’t really bother her at all.

“Um… No, not really,” she answered honestly, hoping that would end all conversations about her and Brian.

“It’s just that, he’s getting up there in age and-,”

“Oh, come on Amber! Brian’s only twenty-nine. I’m thirty-three for crying out loud!” Barry interrupted.

“I understand that, but that’s usually around the time men think about settling down. She’s still young.”

“How old are you sweetie?”

Tessa looked at Robin with disbelief; she couldn’t believe she had just called her “sweetie” like she was a kid. “I’m twenty-one,” she answered before shoving food into her mouth.

“You’re still a baby! You must barely be a junior in college,” Robin said.

Tessa tried to swallow fast to answer, but instead, Tim spoke up on her behalf. “She’s actually going to be a first year grad student.”

Everyone looked at Tim, who suddenly wished he hadn’t said anything.

“How did you know that?” Robin asked.

“She told me… Look, why does it even matter if they’re dating or not?” Tim asked with frustration.

“Because, Brian’s a good friend and I don’t want to see him get hurt or waste his time,” Amber replied in a harsh tone.

Tessa didn’t know why she felt embarrassed, but not wanting to hear anymore, she wiped her mouth her napkin and excused herself. She could hear Emily going at it with Amber saying things along the lines of “why were you such a bitch?” and “I’m never brining friends over here again.”

Tessa went out to the front door and sat down on one of the steps. The air was cool and refreshing. It was all she needed in order to relax and calm down.

Was it so wrong to be dating someone who was eight years old than her? She didn’t know if Brian was looking to settle down. She wasn’t in a hurry, but if she could see herself being with someone for a long time, she wouldn’t rule it out.

She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a long sigh. Maybe she was better off not dating anyone.

“Hey, you okay?” she heard from behind.

She was startled, not even hearing the front door open. Tim laughed a little at her reaction. “Sorry, didn’t meant to scare you,” he said, taking a seat next to her.

Tessa gave him a weary smile, propping up her arms on her knees and resting her chin on them. She didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t let what Amber said get to you. If you wanna date someone who’s older than you, then do it. As long as you two are happy…”

She looked at him. “It’s not that. I don’t mind dating someone older. Besides, six years isn’t that much of an age gap.”

“But you and Brian are eight years a part…” he said, mentally doing the math.

Tessa’s cheeks flushed. She had been thinking about and Tim’s age difference. “Right. I’m just sayin’, six, seven, eight, doesn’t matter. Ten might be pushing it though,” she joked.

Luckily, Tim didn’t get she had been referring to him. “So, you’re okay right? You looked really upset when you left,” he said, rubbing her back in a soothing and comforting way.

A tingling feeling accompanied by goose bumps ran through her body, which she attributed to the cool breeze.

She nodded her head. “I’m fine. I just got overwhelmed was all.”

He nodded his head understandably. “I figured. I feel the same way. Especially during post-game interviews,” he confessed.

“Really?” she asked in a surprising tone.

“Yeah. I don’t really like talking to the media too much.”

“Must be hectic sometimes,” she said.

“You have no idea.”

After a moment of silence, Tim stopped rubbing her back. She frowned at the loss of contact.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked.

He looked at her, smiling and nodding. “Would you ever date someone younger than you?”

He was caught off guard by her question and didn’t know what to say. He had never dated someone that much younger than him. The two women he had been with the longest were just a few months younger than him. He never thought about dating someone was years younger. He had even declined hooking up with Tessa, thinking she was only eighteen. But not even that stopped him from developing feeling for her.

“I don’t know. Depends on how much younger and if she were mature for her age,” he answered. “But I’m not ready to date. I just need to focus on pitching and trying to help the team get to the playoffs.”

Before Tessa could answer, the front door swung open and Robin appeared. “Hey, there you are!” she called out to Tim. “I gotta get going; mind walking me to my car?” she asked him.

He got up and left with Robin to the driveway. Tessa got up too and headed back inside, hoping Emily was ready to leave.

“Amber, just apologize,” she heard Zito plead as she walked towards the kitchen.

“Fine!” she yelled back.

Tessa waited a minute before entering the room.

“Hey, I thought you might’ve started walking home,” Emily said.

Tessa smiled and shook her head. “By the time I got there, the sun would be rising,” she joked.

Barry cleared his throat and motioned his head towards Tessa. Amber rolled her eyes and let out a sigh.

“Tessa. I just want to apologize for how I sounded earlier. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

Tessa figured she wouldn’t apologize for what she said, so any apology was nice. “It’s fine. Are you ready to go?” she asked Emily.

“Yes! Let’s get the hell out of here before we hear another outburst,” she said, grabbing Tessa’s arm and pulling her towards the front door.

As they made their way towards Emily car, Tim started walking up the front steps. “Leaving already?” he asked.

Emily’s phone rang and she excused herself, walking towards her car.

“Yeah. It’s been a long day and all I wanna do is go home and sleep,” Tessa admitted.

“Will you be at the game tomorrow?”

“I will actually. My advisor and I have things to go over for research.”

Tim was confused. “Research? For school?” She nodded her head. “What are you studying?” he asked – a question that never got answered.

Emily honked her horn, telling Tessa to hurry up. She began walking over to the car. “Sport psychology!” she yelled. “Sorry, I’ll see you later!”

“Bye!” she shouted back, waving goodbye.

Just as he walked through the front door, his phone buzzed. He grinned immediately .

Thanks so much for everything tonight =) I felt so much better after we talked outside. You are a great person and friend.

He smiled while reading her text, but for some reason, the word “friend” struck a chord with him.