Listen to the Thunder

I stared wide eyed as Martin examined my wrist.
“Martin it’s nothing just a cat scratch.” I stated simply, trying to shrug off the helpless feeling I felt.
“Last time I checked you didn’t have a cat.”
“It wasn’t my cat, it was my neighbors cat.”
He didn’t look like he was buying my pathetic attempt at lying so I took a deep breath and sighed.
“Okay so maybe it isn’t a cat scratch..."
“Didn’t think so."
"I was...actually putting up my mirror...and I fell on it. It sliced my wrist right open."
"Please stop lying? Rumor, do you want to explain this to me?” He asked grabbing my arm but not to forceful making sure not to hurt my already injured arm. I took a deep breath. I felt warm tears start to lightly fall from my eyes to my cheeks, and on down my face.
“But it looks like I need to” my voice cracked a little. He put his arm around me and led me to the couch.
“Rumor I know I haven’t known you long at all, but I want you to know that you can trust me and I won’t judge you. You can tell me what’s wrong.” He looked so sincere and worried.
I looked away not wanting to face him as I told him my sob story.
“It started when my mom left. She didn’t give a warning just left a note on my pillow and another on my daddy’s. It said that she was sick and tired of my dad, and wanted her space, but she didn't want to leave me. So it basically meant it’s not my fault; she’s just bored with her life and wanted to try something new. We didn’t see it coming, my dad was crushed and I’ll be the first to say so was I. It hurt like hell to know that someone who was suppose to love me could just up and leave out of no where, but that’s not when I stated well this.” I motioned to my wrist.
The more I spoke the worse the tears fell I had to take off my glasses. Martin listened and tightened his grip around my waist.
“At first I tried dealing with that by pretending it never happened, like I never had a mom and went on with my life like normal; at least on the outside, inside I felt like I was dying. Then I met Jared . . . he was sweet and cute and always knew how to brighten my day. We were 14 I was looking for some type of love and he was making me feel that someone might just love me. We dated two full years before I gave up my virginity to him. . .” I turned away completely ashamed of that dreadful day.
Martin just pulled me closer; I cuddled into his chest and continued to cry until I could finish my story.
"It's okay...you don't have to tell me," He whispered softly into my ear as I sobbed on his chest until it was soaked. "I'm here. I'm right here."
"I-I...okay." I tried to find the words to say that I didn't believe him, but I just couldn't tell him about my issues. Not all of them anyway.
"Can you talk?"
I nodded.
"The morning after, I woke up and he was gone and I started to freak out. But then I saw the note on the pillow beside me. I never mentioned my mom to him so he didn’t know how much it hurt to wake up to a note. That freaking thing said that things just weren’t working out. He even said that he didn’t think it was a good idea for us to be friends anymore, Martin."
"Fucking prick." He muttered, but I barely caught it.
"Later that day I went home a complete wreck, and I didn’t know what to do since dad was at work. I had lucked out at explaining myself to him but I didn’t know how to release all the pain I felt...and I tried cutting. I heard about it from other people at school and stuff, but I never thought that I would actually try it. I was hesitant at first. I was scared to death, but after that first cut I just couldn’t stop. My dad found out a few months later and decided that it was best for me to go to rehab . . . we moved around a lot. Rehab is where I met Jack. We ended up being roomates and really got on each other's nerves at first. Then we became attatched at the hip. As soon as we got out, our parents met and fell in love. I just got lucky that my best friend ended up being my sister. After rehab, She was always there for me when I feel the need to cut. But last night I was alone...and nervous. I was freaking out about all these battles going on in my head. They were fighting for no reason and I couldn’t help it. It was the first time in months that I had even looked at a razor. I’ve backtracked so far and Jack and I are fighting over it and I just don’t know what to do!”
When I finished I was out of breath. I snuggled myself closer into Martin's arms, and he rubbed soft and slow circles on my back. He was speechless and was crying a little himself . I wish I hadn’t told him. He's probably going to be scared, and walk on eggshells around me. The last thing I wanted was to make him feel bad. But...he wanted to know and I needed to tell someone about it. Its been ages since I’ve talked about it with anyone. Jack doesn’t even like to mention it around me.
“I had no idea” He finally spoke.
"I work hard for people not to know."
“You just seemed like such a happy person, so bright and full of energy; I would have never guessed you’ve gone through so much.”
I could tell he was trying to look at me but my face was buried in his chest. I didn’t want him to see me as such a wreck.
“I put on a good act.” I stated simply trying to calm down after my complete breakdown.
I felt his hand on my cheek as he wiped away a few of the remaining tears. He moved my face so that I was looking at him. Slowly the space between us was closed completely and he was kissing me. This kiss was sweet, and gentle. It felt like nothing I'd ever felt before. All too soon he pulled away and just looked at me.
“That was a lot to take in but I’m glad you feel that you can trust with with something so heavy. Seeing how painful it is for you to talk about...do you wanna come over to my place to watch movies for a little while?”
“Do you have the old batman cartoons?” I asked lighting up a little bit.
“You like batman?”
“Of course I do! I’m a Batman super fan.” I stated, simply smiling at me.
“Well little lady lucky for you so am I! Were gonna go watch a marathon of Batman cartoons that is until I have to go to work.” He smiled down at me. I really wanted to kiss him again right now...but instead I stood up, straightening up my outfit.
“I’m going to go get cleaned up and be right back.”
“I’ll be right here.”

I had a great time with Martin well after my break down. We went over to his apartment and watched old batman cartoons. Who would have thought that we’d share a love for Batman?! I was surprised at how well he took everything that happened this morning. After a long afternoon of cartoons and cuddling he told me he had to leave for work, I asked him where he worked and he just told me that he worked with music and left it at that.
"I don't want to leave." He whispered in my ear, letting his fingers run softly through my hair. "Why can't you just come with me?"
"It's your job, Martin." I laughed lightly.
"I know, but I just...I'm really liking hanging out with you. Is that such a crime?"
"Nope, but you do have to work." I replied, sitting up slightly. I felt my phone vibrate in my tight pants pocket. Maggie? Why was she randomly calling me. I chewed on my bottom lip as I looked from Martin and back to my phone. He simply laughed at me and shook his head.
"Go ahead."
"It will only take a minute..." I trailed off, standing up and walking away from him for the momment. "Mags?"
"Hey girly!"
"What's up?" I laughed.
"I'm in New York!"
"No way! How did you swing that?"
"Dad pulled a few strings."
I could basically see her smirk now.
"Figures." I laughed. "Where are you now?"
"Almost at the apartment building."
"Okay. Call Jack and tell her that you're coming,"
"Will do. Bye, Rum."
"Bye." I laughed and hung up on her. I turned toward Martin.
"Who was that?"
"My best friend, Maggie. Well, she's Jack's best friend to. We were all super close in Tennessee."
"That's awesome. Do you want me to walk you back?"
"I just live two doors down," I laughed. "Plus you have to work. I'll take a rain check on the offer though."
Martin smiled at me, and stood up, walking me toward his door.
I waved shyly before I reached for the door knob.
"No goodbye kiss?" He asked.
I turned my head and saw that Martin had a cheeky smile on his lips.
"Okay." I nodded in agreement and lifted my head to place a soft kiss on his lips. "There."
"Bye, Rum."
"Bye, Martin." I smiled and left his apartment. I walked down the hall and reached my own. Walking in, I found Jack lounging around in her 'fat' sweat pants. It unsettled me a little bit. The girl has had the hardest time getting better with her eating disorder, but I'm proud for her effort.
"Are you okay?" I asked awkwardly. I just wanted to make sure that she was fine.

Trying to somewhat smile, Jack nodded.

"I'm sorry, Rumor. I don't understand." She admitted.
That SO was not what I was not what I meant, but I just let it slid. It wasn't worth fighting over.
"At least you admit it." I rolled my eyes and opened my arms. She stepped in them, and I couldn't help but notice her weight. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." She whispered.

*

What in the world was I thinking? Letting Maggie, out of all people, pick out my outfit to go see her favorite band? I'm barely dressed! Sure, she had a long sleeve version of a slutty shirt, but I just feel over-exposed. I know I don't look bad. I'm not the sister with the body image, that's clearly Jack. I just have a bad case of thinking negitive thoughts against myself. Nothing that any teenager doesn't have.
Not to mention on top of that, the band playing happens to be Boys Like Girls. Martin told me that they died. What the heck is up with that? Then he shows up on stage? It's not hard to figure out that he didn't just lie to me, he didn't mention that he was in the band. I don't know how to react around him when we meet them. I wasn't planning on the guy I was falling hard for to be in a band. I'm new at this.
"Nowwww can we go?" I whined.
Not to sound like a needy little girl...but I really wanted to talk to Martin.
I could tell that Jack was pissed by the way she was muttering around about VIP passes. I was barely paying attention. Next thing I know, Maggie's grabbing my hand and dragging us with her. I shot Jack a concerned look. We quickly got passed the guard and Maggie started knocking on the door. I felt my heart beat increase rapidly.
"Oh! Girls! And they definitely aren't teenagers!" A blonde boy stated.
By the way Maggie was acting...that must have been Bryan.
"Lemme see!"
"Never! There's a blond, brunette and a red head!"
"Let them in, you fucker!"
That was definitely Martin. I felt an odd feeling in my gut when he said those words.
"Fineeee." The Bryan guy replied, letting us in.
I slightly resisted, but was pulled in anyway. Martin's mouth dropped when he saw me. He wasn't expecting to see us at all.
Then it got weird.
Paul and Jack started to argue but I tuned them out. I still had my eyes on Martin. Then they were out of the room, leaving it awkwardly silent.
"Whoa. That was...weird." Maggie stated, looking over at me. "Rumor? Rum...hun...what's wrong?" She asked.
I kept my stare on Martin.
"You lied to me." I replied softly.
"Rumor..."
"Why?" I questioned. "After me telling you one of my darkest secrets, a secret that Maggie doesn't even know about, you couldn't tell me about your stupid band?!"
"I didn't lie to you, Rumor. I just didn't tell you."
"I'm pretty sure all of you are alive." I replied sarcastically. "I feel so stupid."
"You aren't." He sighed, reached his hand, slipping it in mine. "I just...I liked that you liked me as a person. Not as the lead singer of Boys Like Girls."
"Martin...if that's what you think about me...then maybe we should nip whatever this is in the bud..."
"Rumor, don't do that." He said, wrapping me up in a hug.
I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist. In his arms is definitely the place I felt the most at peace. It scared me to think that maybe that will end.
"Can I trust you?"
"Let me prove it to you."
"How?"
"Go on a date with me?"
I pulled away and looked up at him.
"O-okay...when?"
"Tomorrow?" He shrugged. "I want to take you out to eat. Is that okay?"
I nodded slowly.
"Okay..." I agreed.