Tokio Derby

Have you ever had the feeling that there’s a large group of girls staring at you walking down the street from a window two stories above?

If you have, I’m sorry Mr. Walks-while-looking-like-he’s-dancing-for-a-Shakira-video. We just needed to look at you for inspiration. And Marissa totally stared at your butt first.

“Does anybody else but me see the way that dude is strutting?” Mariah continues, pressing her nose even farther into the glass. It seems that even though the meeting of our team was called into my apartment, we seemed to be doing absolutely no talking about the band the school thinks we supposedly have or what to do about our team at all.

“I know,” Lena Doldrums replies, snorting. “I think he’s forgetting that that sidewalk is public and not a runway.”

I sighed, thinking about how we would probably look like human-pig crossbreeds if Mr. Shakira turned around. Lena didn’t even try to stop us when we got distracted and looked at him, she just slammed her face onto the already crowded giant glass window.

“Clarissa, are there any attractive men that go through your neighborhood?” Ash asked, moving her face off the window a little. “Not that this guy isn’t the bee’s knees, but it would be nice to see some young, extremely physically-fit members of a gym go running by shirtless every once and a while.”

I shrugged in reply. “I have absolutely no idea. I don’t look out the window like a creeper very often.”

“Well you should,” Mariah replied. “There’s a really nice view.” And with that we continued to look stoic and creepy for about fifteen more minutes. In those minutes we saw: a girl meeting up with her boyfriend, two squirrels fighting over nuts, and two dogs in heat doing the mommy-daddy dance. “That’s just gross,” Marissa yelped, covering her eyes and turning around. “Animals should not be doing that in public.”

“Very true,” Lena agreed, pulling us away from the window and towards our instruments. “The male should have at least bought her dinner or something.”

Ash strummed a few cords on her bass. “And what do you know of that sort of thing, Doldrums?”

Lena in turn grew bright red. “I did some pretty bad things in college,” she stuttered, her voice getting lower with every word. “Some pretty bad things indeed.” She looked back up with determination in her eyes. “And what are we doing talking about this? We still need to make a song for the talent show!”

“Correction,” I snapped, “We” I pointed the drumsticks to everyone except Lena, “Need to think of a song for the talent show. You don’t need to do anything.”

“I’m here because I’m your team manager,” she snorted. “I need to be here for moral support.”

“Plus you like looking out the window,” Davon snickered. Lena’s face didn’t change one bit. “That too,” she added.

Ash got up and started to move around the apartment while playing some chords. “We don’t need no inspiration, we don’t need to jumping,” she sang along with the deep sound. It sounded sort of punkish in element, like some secret bass cord the Sex Pistols played in one of their early songs. “We just need to look outside, and see those two dogs humping.”

The room erupted into laughter. I laughed so hard I accidentally spit on one of Gustav’s cymbals and banged my head against the other. It sounded kind of like a good beat to the bass line; I picked up the drumsticks and started to make a beat following the sound. After a while Marissa and Mariah caught on to what was happening and started to play cords on their guitars. We were starting to sound like an actual band making a song.

Davon started to hum, first just a tuneless melody but later getting more in tune with the beat. Soon she started to whisper words to herself, her mouth moving soundlessly. Then she finally started to sing.

Oh why can’t you see
Who I wa-ant you to be?
Aggression to deep in your heart
Until it silently tears apart
Your dreams, Hopes forgotten in the mist
It seems, That life is lost within a kiss

Her voice sounded amazing. It was like something sweet and innocent but also with a harsh undertone to it. Before her it was just music; with her singing it was something more. Something that could smother you with love yet at the same time kill you and eat you for dinner.

While listening to Davon sing and creating a beat and tempo best suited to her voice, a thought appeared in my head. This was the song we were supposed to sing. This is why Gustav liked being in a band so much and why Bill wanted to sing everywhere. This was the most amazing high anyone could ever have.

I just wished it didn’t stop.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><><><>
“We should do that more often,” Lena exclaimed, her mouth spilling bits of pizza and anchovies. We finished making the song two hours ago but kept going back and making more changes. Soon we had already made seven songs and Davon’s voice hurt. So we stopped to order a pizza or two. Or five pizzas and a hoo-ha of breadsticks.

But we’re not fat. Just hungry.

Ash nodded, snuggled up to the bass. She has really started to like it and even gave the name Elizabass. “I had no idea making music felt like that,” she added, grabbing another slice of pizza. Beck was singing of a devil’s haircut in the background. “And I had no idea Davon had a voice like that!” she pointed the crust of her pizza remains at Davon. “You sounded like a goddess.”

“Or a siren,” Mariah added, wiggling around on the floor. “Ready to send some lucky sailors to their death.”

“I’m not that good at singing,” Davon whispered, turning beet red. “My grandma used to sing a whole lot better than me.”

“Well she must be happy wherever she is because you have the voice of an angel!” I exclaimed, hugging Davon and giving her a sisterly kiss on the cheek.

“That’s true,” Marissa added, already demolishing her seventh slice of pizza. Her eyes narrowed seductively. “So tell me, have you talked to Trevor lately?”

The room exploded with giggles. “I haven’t talked to him much lately,” Davon replied. “Not after I hung out with him last Saturday.” She immediately covered her hand over her mouth. “Crap.”

The room got even louder, asking questions about where they went and what did she wear and did he try to do anything gross. Davon answered with as little as possible, adding in a “yes” here and a “no” and sometimes a “what in the green earth is wrong with you?!” I played along, pretending to be Davon in our re-enactment of what happened last Saturday, which involved a lot of kissing noises and enough sexual content to make a porn star blush.
It was all fine until the stupid landline phone started to beep.

It started off easy at first, but then it started to beep even more. I was constantly arguing with Gustav about why we needed a landline phone in the first place, but no matter what I said it was still in the kitchen, taunting me by the fridge with its old technology. The entire room got silent to hear the beeping, but soon it stopped and the person probably left a voicemail.
And oh sweet gummy bears the stupid landline phone decided to play the message out loud.

It started off with a few seconds of coughing. “Hello,” a familiar groggy voice said. You could tell they were on drugs by how strained their voice sounded. “I know you’re there Clarissa. You haven’t been picking up your mother’s messages and now I have to call your house just to talk to you. Well actually, I’m talking to the voicemail.” The voice laughed a big, cackling laugh that villains use in children movies. The voice got farther away and you could hear them sniff something. “Well,” the voice was strained again, “call us back. And remember: we love you.”

The voicemail ended, the stupid monotone voice asking me if I wanted to save the message or delete it. “What the hell was that?” Lena asked, staring directly at me. “Did you know that guy?”

Now all eyes were on me, their gazed digging into my flesh with questioning and interest. Stop staring at me, the voice in my head yelled. In my mind I had already ripped the stupid landline out of the wall and thrown it through the giant windows. I SAID STOP STARING AT ME!

I could never do that to them though. Then more questions would be asked, like why I freaked out and if I needed medication. And then rumors would start in the school and I would be an outcast. Oh they would hate me. They would hate me so much they would leave-

“Are you okay?” Davon shook me out of my stupor. “You’re pale.” Her grey eyes stared at me, willing me to tell the truth. Like her eyes were putting a gun to my head and trying to force me to spill my secrets. But I’m not going to spill my secrets to her. I can deal with them on my own.

“I think it would be best if you guys left,” I said in my nicest tone, trying my hardest not to either scream or break down and cry.

“But why should we-“Ash started, but I finished her off. “Just leave,” I snapped. “Just leave right now.” After absolutely no protesting at all, I forced them out of the apartment.

“You’re going to have to open up sometime,” Davon snapped at me, picking up some slices of pizza and putting them on a napkin. She seemed to be the only one left in the apartment with no intention of leaving. I just shrugged in reply. I was not in the mood to deal with her.”
“Have you told them about your rape?” The words blurted out of my mouth before I could even think about them. Why would I ever say that to her?

Davon seemed shocked too, her skin now extremely pale. “Fine,” she huffed, storming towards the door. “Be a bitch like that.” And with that she slammed the door and was out.
I stormed into my room, picking up items and throwing them around. I slammed my pillows into the wall and tore my favorite pair of jeans in half. I started to scream, first something small and then to something way bigger. Soon I was going through the house and destroying things. Who in the hell did these people think they were, barging into my life and shoving their ideas down my throat? I can take care of my own damn self. And why did my parents have to appear out of nowhere? Couldn’t they tell I was happier without them?
My pillaging came to a halt from a knock on the door. I stormed over to it and opened the door, making sure it slammed against the wall.

“Hey,” it was Claude, hair disheveled and eyes like he had woken up from a sleep. He peered into the apartment. “What’s going on in there?”

“Just relaxing,” I snapped back. “What are you doing here?”

“I was asleep and heard some screaming and stuff from the next apartment,” he looked at my face. “Are you okay? You look a little-“

“A little what Claude?” I snapped harshly. “I seriously don’t need you coming over just to ask stupid questions.”

“That’s not what I’m over here for though,” he replied. He shuffled his feet a little, rocking back and forth. “I was actually wondering if you wanted to-I don’t know- come over tomorrow?”

“And why-“ I stopped myself. If Davon likes Claude so much, I should go over there to piss her off. It’s kind of what she gets for acting like that to me. Her life can’t be happy all the time. I put on my best smile. “Of course I’ll come over Claude,” I cooed, putting on my most seductive voice. “Just say the word and I’m there.” I leaned over so that my body was close to his. “Or should I just come over unexpectedly? Maybe catch you in a more natural place?”

Claude became red, stammering something about 3 o’clock and how he’ll be waiting. I smirked to myself, noticing how easy it was to trick people. But in the back of my head I felt like I did something wrong. Like suddenly the real me was gone and a manipulative, selfish person had taken her place. Like that person wanted everyone to be just like her and could ruin lives at the blink of an eye.

Like I was becoming just like my parents.