Before I fall

“I heard he’s into Stella,” Gabby said giving me a sympathetic smile.

I smiled back, of course it was fake, “Don’t worry about it, maybe I’m not meant to be a relationship right now,”

“If only fate had a nicer way of telling you that,” She joked.

But I didn’t even crack another smile. What’s wrong with fate?

“Oh, c’mon,” Nathan finally said, “He’s totally not worth it; let’s just say that you saved yourself from a heart break.”

My heart was already broken, there’s no way it be broken again.

“Doesn’t matter,” I muttered.

“You’ve had boyfriends before,” Gabby pitched in.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

She shrugged, “Just trying to cheer you up.”

I said bye, and stepped into my first period class.

Shane and Scarlet sat by each other seeming to be in a deep conversation, so I sat down beside Shane as quietly as I could.

Scarlett had already noticed me though, “Hey, B, do you think I’m controlling?” I asked.

Shane snapped his head around to face me, “Do you think I’m blind?”

Yes, I wanted to answer to both of them.

Scarlett, to me, was controlling Shane’s mind to make him like her. And Shane was so blind to not see that I have feelings for him.

“No,” I stated flatly.

“See!” They exclaimed at the same time.

I sighed softly and took out my notebook, doodling on it.

When the teacher finally gave us an assignment and demanded silence, they finally shut up. I felt so relieved.

♣♣♣♣♣

I stared at my half complete painting and picked up the paintbrush, dipping it grey.

The painting I was doing was a collection of how I feel. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad.

Like the one with the bouquet of flowers surrounding a girl’s face, I did that to imitate how I feel when I’m around Shane. Suffocated, but in love.

And the one I’m doing now, a sunset of grey and black, is how I’m feeling now. Unbeautiful, unimportant, boring, dull, plain, sad, angry.

“That’s a pretty sad scene,” Blake said making me jump, but luckily my paintbrush hadn’t touched the canvas yet.

I let out a sigh of relief, “You scared me,” I muttered.

“Sorry,” He said setting his backpack down and putting on a cover up.

“No problem,”

“What’s your painting about?” He asked me.

“How I feel,” I blurted without thinking.

I felt my eyes widen, but I tried to act casual.

“You feel like that?”

I nodded.

“But it’s so…. Sad.” He finally said.

“Yeah, I know.”

He sat down on the stool and gestured for me to do the same. I sighed putting down the paintbrush and sitting down.

“What’s up?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“This painting, you said it reflects how you feel. I know we’re not the best of friends but I do care, and I’m willing to listen.”

I felt my face get hot, I shook my head, “I’m good,”

“C’mon, Brooke.”

“You know you call me, B.”

“I won’t call you B until you talk to me.”

I shrugged, “I don’t really care; I was just trying to make it easier on you.”

He chuckled, and then I stood up.

“So that’s it?” He said, “You don’t want to talk?”

“Thanks for the offer,” I said, “But I’m not interested in taking it on right now, but keep it open. I may accept it sometime.”

“This is a one time thing,”

“Too bad,”

“I’m kidding,”

“I figured.”

Silence.

“Are you interested in anyone?” I asked trying to break the silence, but I made it awkward for myself.

He smirked and gave me a nod, “Yeah, maybe one or two people.”

“I would ask who, but I doubt you’d tell me,”

“I would.”

“Well?”

He looked at me, “Nah, never mind. If you can play secretive, so can I.”

♣♣♣♣♣

“I know who you like,” I told Nathan in the hallway. Gabby stopped to go to the bathroom.

“Impossible,” He muttered, “I don’t like anyone.”

I smiled at him and he shifted uncomfortably, “You should ask her out,”

He looked at me, “You think?”

“So you do like someone?”

He rolled his eyes, “You did say you knew who I like. So what’s the point of pretending?”

“Well are you gonna do it?”

“Do what?”

“Ask her out,”

He nodded, “Yeah, I will. At lunch.”

“This’ll be interesting,” I murmured as Gabby walked out.

“Let’s go dweebs,” She said walking past us.

I grinned as I caught up, leaving Nathan behind, “You shouldn’t be talking to me like that, not after what I did.”

“What’d you do?”

“I talked to Nathan,”

“What-“

“He say’s he’s going to ask you out at lunch?”

She blushed, “Really?”

I nodded, “Yeah, really.”

I stepped into my reading class and waved, “See you later.”

When class started the teacher announced that whoever our partner was for the last assignment yesterday is our partner today.

Blake and me? Partners the whole year? Not a bad idea.

“I don’t get it,” He said. He was frustrated it was so obvious, and yet, he still looked cute.

“All you’re doing is trying to see it from the author’s point of view.” I explained again.

“That’s the thing, I don’t know it from her point of view, and I didn’t write the story!”

I laughed, “Its fine, I get frustrated sometimes too,”

The lines on his face automatically disappeared, “I’m not frustrated.”

“You are,” I pointed out, “You’re face told me all I needed to know.”

“Looks can be deceiving.”

I rolled my eyes, “What’s so embarrassing about being frustrated,”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, “I get these ugly lines on my forehead whenever I’m annoyed,”

“I found them cute,” I blurted without thinking. I sighed as I felt the blush rise to my cheeks.

He smiled, “Thanks.”

“So…”

“We should hang out sometime,”

“Huh?”

“You know; me and you. We should go somewhere together, as friends.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

♣♣♣♣♣

Lunch came quicker than I expected, once we were all settled at the table-me, Blake, Scarlett, Shane, Gabby, and Nathan- I said, “So Nathan, isn’t there something you’d like to say?”

He stared at me and sighed, “Yeah.”

Everyone watched him in curiosity.

“Brooke,” He started, “I have something to ask you,”

Oh no. Please no, no, no. this can’t be happening. But I couldn’t speak, my throat suddenly felt tight.

“Do you… do you want to go out sometime?” He asked.

I stared at him wide eyed. I heard them gasp and I could feel Gabby’s eyes on me.

I bit my bottom lip, what just happened?

“Nathan, can I talk to you for a second?” I finally asked.

He nodded and got up; I did too, following him out of the cafeteria