Alone at Six

The almost filled jar held small tablets and huge capsules. Some were things like Advil and Ibuprofen but others were unfamiliar to me, a mix of colors and sizes I didn't believe could fit down a human's throat.

I stuck my hand in and pulled out different kinds, one by one. I had three in my hand, a small purple one, a small red and white one, and a giant yellow one that was almost the size of my thumb. Pushing deeper into the jar and pulling out more, I didn't know what to think, it's like walking in on your parents going at it. You're so shocked all you can do is stand there and stare until you feel your legs again and can leave or someone spots you.

To my luck, the song ended just as the bathroom door opened, giving me just enough time to place the candle jar back where it was and stand to admire the many pairs of head phones and ear buds strung along a rope from the ceiling.

"Oh, Andy." Cole sighed as she walked back into the room. "You're hands are still blood covered."

"Sorry." I said as I yanked my hand away causing the rope to shake and threaten to send everything to the floor. "I'll clean it off for you, I just need a paper towel or something."

"Don't worry!" She shouted as I reached for the white and red cloth from earlier. "Its okay," She said more calmly. "some of the are already blood covered."

I looked to see she was right. The front case of at least half of the earbuds and speakers of most of the headphones had dark red stains on them, some stains even traveled down the cords. All as if her ears had started to bleed while using them.

"I could probably stand to turn in down a bit, I suppose." She said sheepishly as I gave her a horrified look.

"Cole," I said, still in amazement. "what in the world are you thinking? You're going to damage your eardrums, go deaf in one ear, lose your hearing completely!" For some reason the thought of Cole losing her hearing horrified me more than anything else at the moment. As if her not being able to hear would kill all trees in the world or cause Dr. Who to pop up.

"Well, I never intend to make my ears bleed. I won't really be conscience of it, it'll just be a warm feeling in my ear and I assumed my ears were just getting warm from having headphones on for so long."

"You didn't catch on after the first time!? And what about the earbuds!? What the hell were you thinking." I wonder if she never thought that she could lose her hearing, that your ears bleeding is a normal thing and it wouldn't effect her at all. Or worse. Maybe she did think about it. Maybe she just didn't care.

"W-well, um, I guess I.....I-I wasn't realy....." She distorted her words with the thumbnail she stuck in her mouth, the clanking of her chains almost over powering them anyway.

I couldn't look at her at that moment. When I did, I only saw a nightmare pushing past to consciousness, like it was fighting to rush into reality. "Eh, whatever." I tried to shrug at the posters on her wall as if nothing was bothering me. "I mean, you're not deaf now, are you?"

"No...but I could turn it down, it really isn't good for me."

"What? No, don't let me persuade you, do whatever you want." I forced each word out of my throat with more pain than anything I had ever experienced, just to convince her I didn't care. My eyes wondered to find anything but her to look at, anything at all but everything seemed too boring, too obvious until I spotted a picture on her dresser. The man in it was smiling, the same sort of smile that I'd briefly seen on Cole's lips, the same slightly awkward nose and highlighted dimples. "Who's this?" I asked as I reached for it. "Your dad?"

"Yeah!" She leaped for it and grabbed it from my hands urgently, but not before I could see the words that were on the bottom. "Your, um, hands." It was almost painful, how obviously she was trying to hide something as she held the picture to her chest.

My chest felt like it would cave in. As if bricks were placed over my heart and I was just waiting for my ribs to brake. The words came out of my mouth breathlessly, chocked. "Anyway, I should probably go make sure Jake hasn't killed the deer, make sure Sandra hasn't killed Jake. Thanks for my lip and all."

"No problem. Sorry, it was my fault anyway." Her grip on the frame still hadn't let up, only tightened so hard her knuckles were wight. But I still couldn't look at her face.

"It's fine. See you later Cole."

"Bye..."

I closed her door as I left and staggered down the stairs. Yes, it is terrible. Yes, I should feel bad. Yes, I should be slightly bothered by it. Yes, maybe, I should be slightly upset. But I shouldn't be this bothered by it. I shouldn't be this upset. I shouldn't care this much, but I couldn't help it.

Falling into the back of the car, Ashley pushed me up into a sitting position. I put my head in my hands and tried to forget it, tried to forger about the pills in my pocket, the blood on the earphones, and picture on her dresser. But each thought was replaced by another of equal horror that made it all that much harder to breath.

"Are you okay?" Ashley asked, concerned, I guessed without looking at his face.

"Y-yeah," I lied as I took in a deep breath. "I'm fine."