Alone at Six

"You're kind of a jackass."

"Oh, wow, I didn't know that. Way to just spring this up on me." I moaned through the gym wall I squished my face against. Trina had stated the one thing running through my head all day and everyone else had been reluctant to tell me out loud . Mostly, my band had just looked sympathetic and given me those annoying fucking sidelong glances until I’d run off.

I blanked, I completely and totally blanked. How was I supposed to respond to something as heartbreaking as that? I mean, yeah, I've heard it before, but somehow this was different. It was like my mom telling me she burned off her fingers of purpose, Sandra telling me she had started cutting, or Jinxx telling me he's been pulling his hair. Cole wasn't sure whether or not she wanted to kill herself. I couldn't fully comprehend the horror of that in one week, much less come up with a response for it in one minute. Hence my less than genius response of ‘you’re just too damn pretty’ and nothing fucking else. Really, my abnormally massive mind amazes me.

"What do I do?" I mumbled to myself as I melted to the floor.

"Nothing."

Confused and slightly angered, I looked up at Trina. What the fuck did she mean nothing?

"Think about it." She spoke in a reasoning tone, finally letting go of the pole used to hold up the nets. "She didn't ask you to do anything, did she? She didn't say I want to kill myself, do everything in your power to change that. She just told you. If you actually care enough about her, like you seem to, you won’t patronize her like that."

"But.... I don't want her to feel like that. I'm not trying to patronize her or whatever. I just want to make her happy."

She shrugged. "You can't do that. She has to find what makes her happy in certain situations and use that for herself. You can't force her to be happy or hurry up the process. If you really want to help; be there for her. I haven't really talked to her all that much but she seemed to have been holding it together fine by herself. Just be there for her when she can't do it anymore."

"Trina, I hate you. I hate you with a fiery, burning, passion that puts hell to shame, I hate you."

"What!?" She giggled, going back to twirling around the pole. "I was only trying to help!"

"But you made too much sense! When the fuck did you become Yoda? I want to do something about it right now; not wait."

"Wait for what?"

My heart pulled the rest of my body to my feet as Cole walked up.

"Wait for Friday," I answered before Trina had a chance to tell her the truth. "It's gonna be kinda hectic if we don't finish planning."

"Friday I'm in love." She shrugged. "Maybe you should adopt some patients, if you're not done planning that is."

"Patience?" I pffted. "I've never heard of that word."

"Yeah, I had to look it up once. Listed under the antonyms was this weird dude named Andrew Biersack."

Me and my retardation had to think about that for a moment, Trina and Cole looking at me, waiting. "Were you making fun of me? Was that a joke?"

"Joke?" Cole faked confusion. "I'm sorry, I've never heard of that word."

"I like you," Trina interjected. "Want to be my partner for tennis?"

"Trina," I interrupted quickly, slightly annoyed with her. Wrapping my arms around Cole's shoulders, calming her, I said “Cole's my partner, no one else’s. Go get your own."

"Did you ask her?"

"No, bu-"

"No buts! She's mine! Jake isn't here so she's mine."

"Then go find Jake! You can't just st-"

"Catch!" Yelled a voice from across the gym. Before any of us had a chance to register the word, a ball was flying into Cole's face, the shock making her jump and landing us both flat on my ass.

"Holy shit, Cole," I stood and leaned down to grab her waist and help her up as she let out little pained cries, “are you okay?”

"That went straight into my face! D-did you see that!?" Once she was back to her feet, I realized that those weren't pained cried at all, but almost uncontrollable laughs. After each breath she took in, she would breathe out blood and a giggle. "D-did someone get that on ca-amera!? That was priceless!"

"Cole, stop laughing." I ordered through a chuckle, not even taking myself seriously. "Your lip's bleeding, you're gonna make it worse."

After a bit of bloody laughter, her hands looked at if she'd just gotten back from Sweeny Todd's Barber Shop. A freaked out Ms. Garrison sent Cole to the nurse; me trailing behind, of course. Cole's face was almost as red as the blood on her hands, from either lack of breath or embarrassment. I wasn’t sure.

The nurse’s office was packed. Fifteen kids, at least, sitting in the few chairs and leaning on the walls, all waiting for the nurses attention. A slightly familiar face caught mine as I raked my brain for her name, difficult considering the bodies hitting me and apologies interrupting my thought.

"Logan!" I eventually shouted, earning the glances of some injured kids.

"Oh, Andy!" She exclaimed. "Hey, didn't see you there with all these people. What are you doing here?"

"Cole cut her lip. What's with all the post-apocalypse people?"

"A engine exploded in the shop building," she explained, holding up her arm to show her own burn. "Parts were everywhere, oil too. What happened to Cole? She okay?"

"I'm fine." Cole spoke up from behind me, face still bright red. "Andy, maybe you should go find Trina and prep for Friday or something. It’s a bit too crammed in here to have unnecessary bodies floating about.”

"Oh, sure." Though she meant it of convenience, I was still struck by the feeling that she didn't want me there. Maybe Trina was wrong and my lack of sympathy earlier had hurt her feelings and seeing me was just a pain, like having to talk to Ryan or smile while being forced into a conversation with a grandparent.

With that in mind, I left quickly, wishing I'd brought cigarettes with me. Though this was a school; I doubted they wanted smoke drifting through the breezeways. Plus, I didn't know Cole's feelings on smoking. I don't think she smoked, but you never know. She seemed the kind to favor something like passive suicide, which I guess some would consider smoking.

As I dragged my feet through the quad, I heard my name being shouted from behind. When I turned I realized it was a huge fucking mistake leaving cigarettes behind. A bigger mistake than putting pancake batter in the microwave or trusting a horny, teenage, virgin Ashley in a strip club.

"Hey." I tried not to grit as Ryan ran up beside me.