Watch me Cry
1/1
My breath hitched dramatically in my esophagus. My body became stiff, immobile. My eyes dilated, my nose twitched, and my ears, my ears throbbed. It was that sickening noise, that loud horrible ruckus! It struck at my ears wildly, daring me to die. I couldn't breathe, my intake of oxygen would not successfully exhale. I was terrified, that noise... it was just... too much.
My heart, I could feel it fluttering about wildly behind my sternum. The rate of my heart was increasing at a deadly pace as I stood blatantly paralyzed inside of my own home. My heart was forming palpitations at an outrageous pattern, making it hard to concentrate.
The saliva from my mouth drained abruptly, and soon became increasingly dry. I could feel the chills raking through my body as the siren still boomed at an earsplitting volume of intensity right across across the street of my apartment complex. The shakes rumbling throughout my being caused enough trauma to make me feel nauseous and lightheaded.
Suddenly my hands flew to my ears, clutching them roughly, trying desperately to block out the noise. The muscles in my arms began to tighten, and clench, my face scrunched up in intractable horror. This pain was too much to handle, it was horrid, dreadful!
The walls of my house echoed with the disturbance as my body became unmanageable. Although I knew I shouldn't get so worked up over such a little thing as noise, I couldn't help it, I wasn't in control.
My vision blurred as the room spun out of control, my life was in shambles. This whole situation was chaotic. I wasn't able to do as I would've chosen. If it had been my choice I would've sat, and listened to the loud ringing sirens, but no, nothing can ever go that way.
As I felt myself spiraling downward into the deep pits of my being, diving down deep.. It seemed ad though I was going on a journey, leaving my body behind. Possibly for good. I took a look at myself from the outside.
A small girl, panicked and pain... terrified of loud noises, clutching her head for her dear life, trying more than desperately to overcome her obnoxious phobia.
This phobia of hers was a curse, a demon upon her life. She couldn't function as a normal civilian. She had to constantly watch over here back for ambulances, police cars, loud stereos- anything and everything.
This weak female had no control. She had lost all happiness because of her illness, it over took her life, eating her away day by day. Nothing was normal, nothing was morally correct.
It were as if her life was a puzzle of a million pieces. The only problem was that some pieces were missing,, creating her insatiable terror of loud noises.
Creating her condition of Ligyrophobia.
As my soul returned, I screamed. A scream of torture. This is not what I wanted my life to be, this is not how I planned everything, it was the complete opposite. I was a terrified fool, scared of loud noises, how pathetic.
This was all because of my diagnosis.
All because of Ligyrophobia.
My heart, I could feel it fluttering about wildly behind my sternum. The rate of my heart was increasing at a deadly pace as I stood blatantly paralyzed inside of my own home. My heart was forming palpitations at an outrageous pattern, making it hard to concentrate.
The saliva from my mouth drained abruptly, and soon became increasingly dry. I could feel the chills raking through my body as the siren still boomed at an earsplitting volume of intensity right across across the street of my apartment complex. The shakes rumbling throughout my being caused enough trauma to make me feel nauseous and lightheaded.
Suddenly my hands flew to my ears, clutching them roughly, trying desperately to block out the noise. The muscles in my arms began to tighten, and clench, my face scrunched up in intractable horror. This pain was too much to handle, it was horrid, dreadful!
The walls of my house echoed with the disturbance as my body became unmanageable. Although I knew I shouldn't get so worked up over such a little thing as noise, I couldn't help it, I wasn't in control.
My vision blurred as the room spun out of control, my life was in shambles. This whole situation was chaotic. I wasn't able to do as I would've chosen. If it had been my choice I would've sat, and listened to the loud ringing sirens, but no, nothing can ever go that way.
As I felt myself spiraling downward into the deep pits of my being, diving down deep.. It seemed ad though I was going on a journey, leaving my body behind. Possibly for good. I took a look at myself from the outside.
A small girl, panicked and pain... terrified of loud noises, clutching her head for her dear life, trying more than desperately to overcome her obnoxious phobia.
This phobia of hers was a curse, a demon upon her life. She couldn't function as a normal civilian. She had to constantly watch over here back for ambulances, police cars, loud stereos- anything and everything.
This weak female had no control. She had lost all happiness because of her illness, it over took her life, eating her away day by day. Nothing was normal, nothing was morally correct.
It were as if her life was a puzzle of a million pieces. The only problem was that some pieces were missing,, creating her insatiable terror of loud noises.
Creating her condition of Ligyrophobia.
As my soul returned, I screamed. A scream of torture. This is not what I wanted my life to be, this is not how I planned everything, it was the complete opposite. I was a terrified fool, scared of loud noises, how pathetic.
This was all because of my diagnosis.
All because of Ligyrophobia.