My Arranged Marriage to Sidney Crosby

Disclaimer: I only own my characters, Sidney and the Pittsburgh Penguins belong to Mario Lemieux.

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Chapter Thirty-Six
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I ended up staying in Canada with Eric and my family for two weeks. I needed the time off. I finally came clean to Eric about the miscarriage when he started asking me why I was acting weird. During that time he consoled me and helped me try and move on. I still hadn’t told Sid, but we were talking again. However, things seemed weird between us. I noticed when I got home that he avoided eye contact with me; he barely touched me and even spoke to me less. I couldn’t handle it anymore. The boys were also acting weird and I couldn’t figure out why. Had something bad happened when I was away? I tried talking to Maxie but he told me that nothing had happened and that I should speak to Sid about it.

“But it doesn’t seem to be just him. Why are you guys acting strange towards me?” I asked him.

“Jessica, you really need to just talk to Sid about it.” He told me.

I sighed in defeat; I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. “I will.” I then decided to change the subject, “Are we hanging out tonight?”

“Of course mon cheri! Why would you think any differently?”

“I was just making sure before I got ready to go out.” Maxie and I had started to designate Tuesday nights as our night outs. We would go out to dinner or see a movie. We also tried something new though, never sticking to one thing for more than two nights.

“You’ll be seeing me in an hour or so.” He let me know before we both said our goodbyes and hung up.

I quickly went into Sid’s room to let him know that I was still going out with Maxie tonight.

“Something’s up with her mom, I don’t know what it is, but I know she’s hiding something from me.” There was a pause from him. “I want her to come to me. I don’t like confronting her about issues anymore. I feel if she needs to discuss something with me, she should come to me first.” He said.

“And discuss something with you is what I would like to do.” I told him.

He turned away from the window in his room and looked at me with surprise plain on his face. “I gotta go mom. I’ll see you soon. Love you too.”

When he had hung up, he turned to fully face me. “What do you want to talk about?”

“There’s a lot of questions on my mind.” I told him truthfully. “Not only questions, but there are also some things I need to tell you. However, I’m going to start off with the questions.” I paused as I watched Sidney’s face. “My first question is to know why you’re acting so strange towards me.”

He bit his lip before answering. “That night when you called Flower to apologize to me, the boys and I decided to go out and hang loose. At the time I wasn’t opposed to the idea, I needed to have some fun and stop worrying so much. We all went out to the nearest night club and while we were there, we were dancing with some girls.”

When he said that, I felt a pang of pain in my heart. “Including you.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“Including me.” He averted his eyes from mine before continuing. “The girl looked really similar to you in looks, but she didn’t dress like you. She was wearing a really low cut top-”

“Sidney, I don’t want to hear that.”

“Of course you don’t.” he whispered and he made eye contact with me again. There was a sense of sadness to it. “Well anyways, she looked a lot like you and I couldn’t help myself. We were going to head to her house.”

Tears rimmed my eyes as soon as he said that. I didn’t understand the feeling and felt sick to myself.

“But I wasn’t in the right state of mind. The whole night I kept calling her by your name, she didn’t seem to mind. In fact she told me that she would be whoever she wanted me to be, even if it was my fiancée. We had grabbed a taxi and she kept hungrily throwing herself at me, I kept holding her back telling her to wait til we got home, but she wouldn’t listen and at that moment I told her I wanted us to wait and proclaimed my love.”

He was standing right in front of me now, his hands cupping my face and brushing the few stray tears away.

“Why Sid?” was all I could manage to choke out. Was I not good enough; was I not what he wanted?

“I don’t know.” He breathed, as he stared into my eyes. “I guess it was because I was jealous that you were with Eric and I needed to fill a void space in my heart. But Jess, nothing happened. It was at that moment that I realized what I was doing was wrong and would break you in a million pieces. It would make me seem like another failure to you- and I didn’t want that. Jessica, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Every waking hour, I want to be by your side. It’s you I want to wake up to in the morning; you are the one I want to have children with.”

It was at the moment he said children that I let the tears freely flow from my eyes. I hadn’t told him yet about the miscarriage. Hell, in fact he didn’t know I was ever even pregnant.

Sidney pulled me into his embrace and rubbed my back as I continued to cry. He could tell that I was crying for an entire different reason than what he had just told me.

“What is it Jess?” he asked me.

My words were muffled as I spoke against his shirt. “I didn’t know how to tell you this. The true reason why I had Becca over was because I had an accident and I needed her to check something for me.”

“Jess, I can’t hear you.”

I took a shaky breath and pulled my head away from his chest. “I wasn’t sure how to tell you this, but I think it’s time you know. I had Becca over that one day because I had an accident and she was the only one I could trust. I didn’t want to rush to the hospital because I didn’t want to ruin your image.”

“Jess, what are you going on about?” he asked worry evident in his voice.

“Sid, I was pregnant.” I breathed.

“That’s awesome!” he grinned but it fell away. “What do you mean, don’t tell me you had an abortion.”

“No, I didn’t.” I told him. “I had a miscarriage. That was really why I wanted to go up to Canada. I needed to get away from here and I wanted to see a doctor where I was almost positive that no one would follow me. I figured the baby was fine because Becca told me she didn’t see anything wrong, but I was wrong.” I looked into his eyes. “I only told Eric after he pried it out of me, that’s why I was in Canada longer than I expected. He was helping me through it. He took me to a few therapy sessions- which I never thought I’d do but I guess there’s a first for everything.”

“Jess, you could have told me, I would have helped.” He told me.

“I know you would have. I just didn’t know how to let you know. I wanted to tell you, I really did but when the scare happened I wasn’t sure what to do. I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you. I would have told you sooner, but everything is so screwed up.”

Sid kissed my forehead. “Jessica, no matter what happens I will always be here for you.”

I gave him a smile. “I know that now.” I laughed before curiously asking, “So you really were jealous of Eric?”

“I was.” He told me. “But I don’t think I need to worry about you. I love you Hunter.”

“Last name, eh?” I asked. “I love you to Crosby boy. Who would’ve thought that we’d be saying that to each other?”

He laughed. “Certainly not a lot of people, including myself.” I smiled as he kissed me. “Now go get ready to go out.”