I'd Hate to See You Cry

It hurt her? Hell, it killed me. I slowly turned around, finally facing her. She looked on the verge of tears, and for some reason, I was way to pissed to care. I walked back toward her.

"And you don’t think that it didn’t kill me?!" I semi-shouted. I was so fucking pissed at the moment.

"I never said-,"

I cut her off.

"You still wear my fucking necklace, and never even care to explain to your boyfriend about who I am?!" I seethed. She was being ridiculous. "I thought that I honestly knew you better than that."

Katelyn looked at me in shock, and shook her head. People were starting to record our argument.

"Alex, stop it." Jack put his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged his hand off of me.

"And then you jump me like you missed me more than anything in the world. What gives?!"

"Alex, you’re making scene!" Katie yelled. "Stop it!"

"No, I want to know why!" I protested. I was being a complete ass hole tonight. "Why am I never mentioned?"

"Why does it matter?!" She shot back. I could see that she was more than pissed off at me. "Alex, I haven’t seen you in over a freaking year!"

"Because we didn’t leave on the best terms!" I replied. "I miss you, and I hate the way that we left!!"

"And I don’t?" She whimpered.

My heart shattered.

"I don’t know, do you?" I asked her harshly. I saw her fans looking extremely confused. "What was I to you, Katelyn? A fuck buddy?"

Her mouth dropped open.

"I can’t believe that you just said that."

Never could I, but I knew why I did say that. I meant it. She was acting like nothing ever happened. She was acting like we were never anything special to each other.

"I fucking loved you, Katie." I stated loudly. "You tore my heart out of my chest, and paraded around with your high heels all over it."

"You can’t rip out what was never there." She retorted. "I hate you, Alex. I fucking hate you, Alexander William Gaskarth." She almost yelled. "Get the hell out of my life. I never want to see your face again!"

I stood there, looking at her.

I didn’t feel surprised, I felt hurt. She took off my A necklace, and tossed it at me. Surprisingly, I caught it. Reluctantly, I took off her purity ring from my necklace. I held out my hand for her to take it from me.

"Good luck, Mason. She’s one hell of an actress. She’s too good at what she does." I just looked at him. "You’ll go insane trying to keep this train wreck happy. I hope you like walking on egg shells all over the time."

Katie walked closer to me, and raised her hand. My left side of my face was numb from her slap. I stood there, watching as she walked off, and back to her fans. She didn’t even look like anything I said to her hurt. What a fucking actress. I shook my head, and I walked out of the theater, forgetting about my friends that came with me. I forfeited getting a taxi, only walking around aimlessly. What really just happened back there? Did I just give that all away in a matter of ten minutes?

Answer - yes, yes I did. And why? Because I’m a fucking idiot. I felt my phone vibrate in the pocket of my skinny jeans. I pulled it out, and I saw that Rian was calling me. I refused to answer my phone, only turning it off. I stuck my phone back in my pocket, kicking rubble as I walked down the streets of London. It was started to drizzle. Why did this have to be the end? I didn’t want it to be, but I knew that it was.

I only knew because she gave me back my necklace. The one that I gave to her on our anniversary. Then I gave her back her purity ring. It made me feel like shit. I took her innocense, something very precious to her, and I was being a dick. Giving her the ring back signified that I didn’t want it anymore.

How wrong that statement is. I wanted her with me. I wanted to feel her lips against mine again, but I knew that we shouldn’t even try. The first time was such a emotional roller coaster that it left me with a lot of confusion. I didn’t know what I wanted out of our relationship anymore toward the end. It kind of felt like we rushed into everything.

Too much time, and too much us.