Can Somebody Love Me

Name: Rowan Stone
Age: 16
Boyfriend:no one, who'd want to date a loser?
Bff: does my mom count?
grade: 11th grade

My life is an huge pit filled to the top with nothingness. It's not that good things don't happen to me it's nothing exciting happens to me, nothing at all. Therefore I have nothing to go on with life for, no one likes me except my mom. She's always there to hang out with, but in 8th grade I found out going to the malls with your mom for fun isn't so cool.
I can't believe Ms. Dundeth is making write this, it's just dumb. This is not going to make my life any better. I'm always going to be that girl who no one knows until they find out in the news about my tragic death. I'll have no children, no family, no friends, no one. Everyone would want to be able to say they knew me. I will be known.

I know that you'll read this ms. Dundeth, so why write down my secrets? It doesn't matter anyway since I have none, due to my lack of friends. Why don't you just tell me what to write, that would make both of our jobs easier. If I were you I wouldn't be my therapist, it might bring down your social status. Do social status's matter to people who are 30+?

I guess I could tell you one of my dreams, the one I had last night. I was in a blue mustang convertible, the top was down and my hair was blowing in the wind. There were 3 people in the car with me, 2 boys 1 girl. One of the boys was smiling at me, and he wrapped his arm around me, and the other 2 were in the back talking and laughing. But I couldn't tell what they were saying. When I asked them, they responded but I still couldn't understand. Then I asked the guy who I suppose was my boyfriend what they were saying.

Then I woke up, but I woke up with a scarf on. I didn't go to sleep with a scarf on either. I think my sister, Danielle, might have been trying to strangle me. I'm not very good for her reputation, and it really hurts her when you come in to a class that we both have and you take me out. So could you lay off with that? I know my reputation is so low that there's no saving it, but why ruin my sisters?

Wow, I wrote a lot, I'm shocked I guess the words just came naturally to me. Especially when I'm listening to music. Music likes me, it's always there and it's like my 2nd mom. Speaking of mothers I'm supposed to be going to get new shoes today with mine, she says maybe if I pick the perfect pair people will talk to me. I know it probably won't help really, but it always gives me hope......

I have now put on my going out outfit, it helps people not look at me as weirdo my dad says. Black hoodie with purple camie black skinny jeans and black, purple and white high top gym shoes. My whole family even Danielle say I look like a normal teenager when I wear this. Maybe I'll ask mom if I can get more outfits like this, it might make people stop giving me looks like I'm crazy.

I guess I am crazy though, so it's only fair that if they have to deal with a crazy person in their community that they can look at me like that. Mom tells me that I'm her favorite all the time. But I don't think that's fair, to her or my brother and sister. Maybe I shouldn't go shopping with mom. But I couldn't pass up a chance to feel normal in the mall.

Well, I guess I must go now, to be normal even for just a few measly hours in my empty life. Maybe, just maybe if I get lucky just one time in my life someone will reach out to me in the mall and....My hope is too high and I have to many dreams. I'm just a crazy person, who's gonna commit me to the crazy house.
Signed,
~Your little loser~