Can Somebody Love Me

Have I ever told you that I like Fall Out Boy? I guess you figured that out when I chose a journal with F.O.B on it though, did you? What kind of bands do you like? Too many questions not enough feelings, I know that's probably what you'll say when you read over my journal next week.

What would you do if I didn't write in my journal? You tell me this is for consistency in my life but I already have a ton of consistent things. I've got consistent low social status, people disliking me, and being ignored. Those were all always there, even if they weren't positive consistencies. And just because this isn't negative doesn't mean it's positive, but that's where I question myself. What does that make it? This notebook is like me to my family, you don't really want but it's gonna always be there.

You know I had that dream again, with the convertible but this time I actually got a response from the guy. He told me the people behind us was me, and that I was everyone...I don't get it, and it annoys me. Do you get it? What could it possibly mean, mom told me that all dreams have some kind of underlying message.

I don't have much to tell you today, you won't even see this for a couple more days. So any emotions I had that you'd like to discuss with me will be long gone. Did you think this out completly? I don't think you did, I want to go to sleep now. But I can't, it's almost dinner but I don't need to eat.

Is dying from starvation tragic? no, not tragic enough for when I die and no one would care. Maybe I'll throw myself off the side of the Eifle tower, then everyone would know. I've got to go plan how to get to paris

Signed
~your suicidal loser~