One of the Boys

I left Marcus laughing after me soon after that and stomped towards Eric's room to grab him for dinner. Though each dorm had a kitchen, the chefs’ cooked meals were served in the Main Hall. It was a room full of grandeur and redesigned last in the 18th Century by an architect who had helped build the Versailles Palace. You certainly could see a style resemblance, though it wasn't anywhere near as extravagant. I knew most our cutlery was made of silver, and plates of china, wine was served like cola and you didn't have to worry about preservatives in your orange juice; Freshly squeezed in the kitchen.

Eric pulled me to a table near the back away from the major tables in the hall. Before I could ask why we didn't go where the rest of the Ely dorm had chosen to sit together, Eric started grilling me with questions.

"You gave someone a hard on in first period?"

"Pardon me?" I gasped applauded that that's what the new rumour was. "I did not!"

"Is it true that you scared Jacob Wright shitless and he peeded himself ?" He said all that with a big smile on his face.

"Eric, where's your shame man, boys in this place gossip more than girls."

"Ah, not true. It's just that normally there are girls to gossip for us."

"Right... anyway why are we sitting here, away from the main table? Teddy keeps sending me puppy dog looks and asking me to come over there."

I turned once more to look at Teddy who stopped his conversation with his neighbour and held up a finger asking me to wait a moment. I peered at him suspiciously and saw him dig around in his bag for something. He pulled out a notepad and a black felt tip and laughing in advance I watched him scrawl rapidly. He held up the piece of paper to me. In bold capital letters it was written, WTF!

A patrolling teacher, a batty looking women with large spectacles and who seemed to be wearing a woolen skirt on one of the hottest days of the year, stopped by Teddy and cleared her throat suggestively.

"Mr. Castello," she did nothing to keep her voice down, alerting everyone in the hall of her conversation. Across the room you could see a swish of heads turning to get a better look.

"Yes Mrs.Harlow?" he asked sweetly.

"There shall be no crude language in this hall on my watch. You are a Holderness boy of-"

"Poise and good conduct and my every action reflects on the school's. I know Mrs. Harlow,"

"Don't be smart with me Theodore."

"But you always condemn me for being too 'grossly incompetent' in geography, Mrs. Harlow."

"Than what could you possibly be doing waving that grotesque sign around as you did? What's the meaning of it?"

"This sign Mrs. Harlow? W T F? It only means..." I saw his eyes search the crowd for inspiration for half a second before finding it on his empty place setting in front of him. "Why it means Where The Food Mrs. Harlow? It's not been served out yet."

"It means no such thing. It means what the fu-" She gasped into her own hand and flustered as everyone laughed at her slip up. Teddy winked at me and mouthed "What the fuck," pointing at Mrs. Harlow who stomped out of the hall her face redder than a Wicked Witch's shoes.

I turned back to Eric when he spoke to me once more. "You can go; my friends will be here soon. Just because the majority choose to sit with their dorm doesn't mean a few of us can't sit over here were we feel more comfortable."

"Hey, I thought you had no friends."

"What? Me? I'm the biggest thing on campus, haven’t you heard?"

"Psh, bullshit."

And the conversation continued this way for the rest of the evening. The food was served shortly after that, by a parade of fussy chefs. The daily five course meal will prove to be a daily challenge to my waistline, but glancing around I noticed that no one minded leaving half a plate of professionally made food on their plate.

Eric introduced me to some of his friends who came down a bit later. They belonged to other dorms as well and I had a growing feeling that I was sitting at the outcasts table. The hall was obviously divided into six sections. Grouped up rectangular mahogany tables represented each dorm with each dorm's symbol on the table runners. There are five dorms here at Holderness and this sixth group of tables were like little islands separated from the mainland. From their luggage of instruments or hand full of scripts and scrawl filled notebooks, cameras and video recorders, I had a feeling all these boys where into the Arts. They spent most of the dinner questioning my on the events of my first day. "What about Craig Miller. Is it true he tackled you and knocked you flat out?" The dinner was almost over and soon I would be going upstairs to my warm and uncomplicated bed. Eric had been fun to eat with and I could tell he was the founder of his friendship group. Each of his friends verified any of their summer projects with him and he always gave them encouraging comments.

"Basically my mum went through some mental personality change when my dad went on tour this summer. She started telling me how she misses his kisses and touch in places mothers should mention to their son. She was all "He made me feel like a women when he took me by surprise in the middle of the night. Stupidly I asked ‘Took you where?’, and she said 'On the dining table, ' and I was like, 'Wow... Cool story mum. Don't tell it again.' I am now scared for life with this horrid image."

Before any of us could comment on Eric's story my father took centre stage with a mic in his hand on a raised level of the room. It was on this level, about three steps higher than the rest of the room, that the teachers on lunch duty ate. Nearby was the door to the teacher lounge was accessible through a stone archway and heavy wooden door. At each of the two mandatory meals, breakfast and dinner, about five teachers ate in the hall with us surveying from their raised positions, their student's behaviour.

"You attention please," my father asked once more and instantly the room hushed, apart for the chocked giggles from a few hastily finished conversations. "Congratulations on your first day back to Holderness. From my meeting with the teachers earlier it seems that everything went smoothly and it is set to be a promising year," My father gave the crowd of boys a look full of love and pride as they clapped and cheered for the new school year and my father's welcome. "I will now have your school council join me up here to announce this start of the school year news."

He stepped away from the centre stage and rotated to find the school council president behind him with the rest of the council. He shook Leo's hand in what seemed to be an old friendship handshake, one that had a secrete meaning behind it, like an inside joke. Leo Castello stepped forward with the microphone and stood in the middle of the stage and looked over us Holderness boys from his elevated position. Behind him the rest of the council had stepped forward and were standing hand behind their straight and upright backs. There were seven of them. I was happy to see that I knew a few, and horrified at the same time; Leo, Cameron, Marcus, and an oriental looking boy that seemed familiar. Their ties perfectly straight, their buttons buttoned, and their shirts tucked in without a single crinkle. There was something somewhat aristocratic about each of them. Clean shaven and combed hair, they were at a higher level. Yet I could help thinking about Leo's tattoo, hidden under his crisp shirt, and the look of devilish pleasure he had worn in the spare room. Marcus' late night activities and his hidden strays. There was also Cameron whose dogtag and constant smirks confused me.

"Ah," Eric leaned in towards me, "The seven royals of Holderness, see how the school claps at their entrance," he said with mocked awe. "I like to referrer to them as the seven deadly sins of Holderness. You ever make a deal with them, you have made a deal with the devil."

"Which sin do each of them stand for," I whispered to Eric keeping my eyes on Leo and speaking through my teeth.

"That," he replied in a similar fashion leaning even closers, "is something you'll have to figure out yourself." He said his eyes full of mirth as he sipped his white wine.

They all had secretes, these seven royalties of this prestigious London establishment, and looking at Eric's Adam apple bob dry as he tried finish his wine, eyes fixed on Leo, I am sure they weren't the only ones in this place.

"Welcome every single one of you, students, teachers, staff," He turned to his left looking towards the door that leads to the kitchen. "As well as our lovely chefs who never disappoint. Welcome. I'd like to welcome especially this year’s new students. Sadly last year's Fourth years had to depart, but here to fill their place are First Years who are here continue the school's legacy. If every first year student could stand up, your older brothers would like to applaud you and welcome you to your new family."

On cue a speckle of young men stood up around the hall, often in tight clusters, all flushed and looking slightly overwhelmed by the massively large applause that deafened them.

"I am Leo Castello, your Head Chair on your school council, here to make sure your voice is heard and represented." Leo sent them a resplendent smile, and pointed his arm towards a boy next to him, "This is your Deputy Chair, Cervil Wingtrilton," A stout dark skinned boy raised a small hand in accordance with his introduction.

"This is Seo Chin-Hae, your secretary and accountant," I scrutinized the closed off boy that gave a stiff nod of the head. The distant expression seemed familiar, but I couldn't remember from where. But I did remember dislike.

"This is Cameron Reynolds, Sport and societies manager." Cameron gave a bashful smile at the crowd and a quick military style salute accompanied by a wink. The last part was aimed right at me.

Leo laughed at Cameron's antiques before turning to Marcus, "And this is Marcus Newton the event organiser and public relations manager." Marcus ran to the mic and leaning over Leo to speak into it he said, “No known relation to the dude with apple. No matter how many girls fall for me like I’m gravity.” The hall erupted with loud and Marcus took a frivolous bow. I noticed my father looking at him sternly and Leo giving him an apologetic smile.

In this same fashion Leo introduced the rest of the members and moved on to announcements. The forest was as always off limits to the students day or night, and all cell phones aren't allowed during school hours. “Furthermore, I would like to add in conclusion to that list that there shall be no such thing as The Game. It has come to the school council that non protocol behaviour around school last year was associated with this so called game.” The hall was completely silent and I could see astonishment on each boys’ face. I could they were all wondering how this had reached the teacher’s attention.
“Such outlandish behaviour will not be tolerated at Hollderness and in participation in such a game shall lead to strict suspension, or even,” I looked at Leo’s cool demenor, his eyes still as a lake on a windless night. “Explusion. That concludes the news for this evening. Remember no leaving the dorms after 9:30.”

Soon after that Eric and me walked back to the Ely dorm and parted ways, both tiered from a long day, me with more obvious reasons. I quickly went to my room and hurried to take my shower before Teddy and Marcus made it back across campus. The hot steam was relaxing and I sat down in the shower letting the water flow over me. My shoulder length bob was hanging limp against the nape of my neck and I twirled it around my finger, wishing that I didn't have to wear a wig. I used to have much longer hair. Hair that streamed down to my waist, in a smooth cascade. I refused to cut it all off, but left what could fit under the wig cap.

I got out of the shower and stood in front of the fogged up mirror, barely recognizing myself in the distorted reflection, but I could make out the key features. My bottom lip spilt towards the left. My breast perked and fully standing from the shower, and it oddly comforted me to see them present. As if it was just verification that I was really Lucy and not Lucas. In the valley between my breasts was a long cut, wide, but shallow that divided them. I could imagine Miller's boot striking my skin like a match to a matchbox.

Suddenly I heard the bathroom door directly behind me wiggle open. I hadn't locked the door in my exhaustion! My towel lay on the other side of the room and the glass shower would prove to be very little shelter. I had no time to put on my bindings, or my wig!

"Ted! Teddy, Teddy my man!" I heard Marcus' over enthusiastic voice call from further in the dorm room an instant later. "Wait a second. I have questioned to ask you. Come away from the door for a sec."

"Why?" Moaned Teddy, "I really have to go pee pee."

"Yeah that... can wait."

"No it can't!"

I hurried and threw on my wig and strapped on my binding in double time thanking Marcus and Jesus repeatedly.

"Yeah, Lucas is in their anyway, come here."

"Marcus, it's urgent. He is probably playing in the shower I've seen penises before," I had a feeling from the tremble in Teddy's voice that he wasn't standing still.

"Nothing like Lucas, you haven't." I rolled my eyes and threw on my t-shirt and pj bottoms.

"What do you mean, you've already seen it? Gross."

"The poor dude opened up to me earlier. He's got a birth defect, or it might have been testicular cancer, anyway that whole bottom half is messed up. Don't even think he can wee straight. Trust me, he likes his privacy." I was frozen in shock, a leg in my trousers the other stuck in mid air.

"Oh. Well maybe we should you know start a charity for him, to get him a transplant or something. Cameron told me he's here on scholarship, probably can't afford one. I'll go use the toilet in Leo and Cameron's room ask Leo if he likes the idea."

"No!" cried Marcus as I cursed him and the Devil.

"I really need to pee Marcus, tell me later."

A few seconds later there was a knock at the bathroom door and a small whispered "Lucy, I mean Lucas?" I didn't respond absolutely fuming wishing I was a trained assassin.

He slowly opened the door, opening wider when he saw that I was fully dressed.

"I am really sorry." He gave me an embarrassed grin as an apology. I gave him a fire red cheek in return, stomped pasted him and made a bee line straight to my bed.

"Come on, that's not fair. I just save you from being discovered!" He said from the bottom of the steps.

"I know," I grumbled from under the covers. "But you did not help either. You know how many things have already gone around the school about me. I am trying to keep a low profile. Low profile. It's just the first day, and I want to get out of here already." I could feel my throat become tight and start aching, my eyes were starting to prickle and breathing regularly was becoming harded.

I heard the loft steps creek and my bed become heavier near my feet. "Lucy," He murmured, low into my ear bending over me. "I am sorry, my little minx. If there is one thing I hate, is seeing a girl cry."

"I am not crying!"

"No. No but you're not smiling either. Look, I'll make sure your secrete isn't found out. "

"This isn't some game." I grumbled some more wiggling way from his calming caresses. "I am so frightened at the mere thought of being found out. And the more I am talked about the more likely it will be."

"It's going to be fine, sleep off this stress. This will stay our little secrete, don't you worry."

And he left back down the loft steps towards his own bed, and I heard his cat meow and start purring as he got into his bed. Sleep came for me not long after that, not giving me much time to reflect about the day's events.

No much later I awoke due to movement in my bed and forcing myself out of my sleep I cracked open my eyelids. The room was dark but the moonlight penetrated from the window of my loft and reflected in Theodore's murky green eyes. He lay curled up next to me, tears twinkling from the corners of his eyes and what smelled like a Werther's Original butterscotch sweet in his mouth.

"Teddy," I hissed. "What are you doing?" I sat up against the dashboard trying to understand what was happening once more.
"I had a bad dream," he mumbled into the pillow.

"W-What?" I asked startled into full attention.

"I had the worst possible nightmare. I dreamed I was a girl."

"Wow, shocking Teds," I said sarcastically letting out a heavy yawn.

"You don't understand. I was a girl... on a period." He's eyes were blinking back more tears as he relived the dream. "It was horrible. Blood everywhere." I tried to hold back a giggle but it ended up coming out as a snort instead.

"No, it's not a laughing matter. I am terrified of blood. That's why I can't do virgins. That boy's sister that I dumped was a virgin. I couldn't do anything with her and she didn't understand."

"Yeah," I said slowly trying to catch my breath, aware of how unreal this conversation felt. "But why are you in my bed at one in the morning."

"Because...well. The worst thing is when I woke up I looked at my sheets just to check it had just been a dream and I didn't really have a period." I started laughing again unable to stop myself in anyway.

"No, you can't laugh, because there was blood. Blood spots all over my new linen sheets and fresh as well!"

Oh shit, I thought. My smile disappeared instantly.

"Er, no. That was my blood. I lay down on your bed because I couldn't make it up the steps to mine earlier when I got hurt. I forgot to call someone to get the sheets changed."

"So I didn't... I mean," he hesitated, and by the moon's glow I could tell he was blushing.

"No, you're completely fine. And male."

"Thank God!" he exclaimed burring his head in my pillow and exhaling deeply. "You don't know how terrified I was."

"Okay, now you can go back to your bed." I said ruffling his long blond locks.

"No fucking way!" he cried starting me, and wrapping his small hands around my duvet and pillow. "I can't sleep in a blood stained bed. I'm sleeping here tonight, whether you like it or not."

"I can't believe I can't sleep in my own bed by myself for one night," I grumbled wiggling around to give him more room and trying not to shiver at how weird this felt. He smelled good at least, he had borrowed my shampoo. I started falling asleep again after forcing myself to resist touching his hair some more.

"Oh and I've been thinking of starting a charity for you." he said as an afterthought, almost asleep himself. "You're such good guy and all. Holderness boy's would love to help out. What about the name-?"

"Goodnight Teddy," I said

"But I think Leo and Cameron could-"

"Goodnight Teddy" I hissed putting a pillow over his face and burrowing myself deeper into my covers. I swear after today I can say that Hell is empty and all the demons and devils are here at Holderness.