One of the Boys

I couldn't properly work out the correct reaction for such a situation. I was immobilized from the face down; the only visible movements were my flaring nostrils. Perhaps my brain had stopped as well because it could not function for quite a while after Leo had given a satisfactory lick of his florid lips. My two fingers were still sticky from the saliva and the hotness of his mouth, but also numb and tingly from the suction he had applied when I had tried to withdraw them. My other hand’s knuckles were painfully throbbing. I had instinctively punched and my hit had landed on the side of his mouth, his teeth cutting and slicing his lips. Leo had groaned and was rendered speechless, caught off guard by my action, before grabbing a few tissues and dabbing his wound.

Hypothesis? Positive? I spun the words round in my head. Did he know? I couldn't see that being true, nothing could have given me away, unless it was Marcus, and I could only see Marcus telling Ludo or Nate. Plus part of me knew he meant it when he said he wouldn't. My wig hadn't slipped and my binding hadn't come undone. I had been on the lookout for peepers every time I changed, and I had perfected my masculine walk and gestures. I was even beginning to smell masculine.

But he obviously knew something, or thought he did anyway. Maybe he thought I was, dare I say it, gay? I had a reputation of blushing quite a lot and did tend to stare bright eyed at some of the boys in the dorm, but I had tried to keep it subtle. And what about the finger licking? Such a forward act… You didn't do it on anyone, even if you're attracted to them. Not when you barely know them anyway, so I decided he might not be gay. But what is he then, other then an emotionally passive finger licker, I wondered.

Then, on seeing his intense look as he surveyed me, now calm and composed, from the driver’s seat, it clicked. He wanted to see how I would react. Leonard Castello knew something, and my reaction proved him correct. This was about the task he had assigned to me in the overly formal letter. The task that premeditates my induction into the brotherhood that is Holderns.

“That was about tonight’s deal wasn’t it?” My voice ran cold like a winter river. “There was no need to test me. I obviously agreed to go along with it when I step into your car, did I not?”

He chuckled through the bloodied handkerchief. “Oh, and here I was thinking you thought this was personal again, surprised you aren’t as simple mined as you appear.” He turned off the car’s engine. The change in the gears had been the indication that we were parking but I hadn’t even noticed until the car had come into a complete stand still. “I have say, I was right thought, about your reaction to such… touches. It resembles a blushing school boy’s first contact with anything in the slightest way sexual. Or a virginal girl with your bizarre looks, either way, I know that he will like your reactions very much. You are exactly his type. Don’t punch him though; I don’t think he’ll take it as kindly as I did.”

Before I could even considered a retort there was a tap at my passenger window and Cameron greeted me with a brilliant smile. “Come on out,” his voice was muffled through the glass window, “You two have been in there for eons.”

We walked to the club that was apparently celebrating the private event of the owner’s brother’s birthday. The guy was turning twenty four and used to go to Holderns. Being a boarding school student going out was restricted to the summer, and even then I never had strong enough friendships that lasted past the school year so I had no one to go with. However I could tell, with my little knowledge, that this place was unusually packed. The cue was the longest I had ever seen and the entry fee was astronomical. We walked past the main entrance and to my surprise we went instead towards the back door where upon giving their names Cameron, Leo and Nat were let in, and the rest of us as their plus one.

The large and well-built bouncer had greeted Cameron with a big pat on the back that almost knocked him over and started making small talk about a recent major league football match. However when Leo coughed lightly under his breath, the burly man withdrew, as though shocked by his own actions, and invited Mr. Wrier (a.k.a. Castello) to please step inside, enjoy the night and if it wasn’t too much trouble to have a look into what had been discussed on a previous occasion. Leo nodded, straining his lips into a vague smile, but the bounce, obviously well acquainted with Leo’s dismal moods, was more than happy.

“Tell Sherry that I’ll send them by the post.” Leo added before disappearing into the pulsating neon shadows of the club. “And warn Hershel that we’ll be leaving via the other back door.”

I slipped inside after Cameron and Leo, feeling the envious stare of the people waiting in the official cue. Marcus dragged himself in after me, still lugging a large black bag, after arguing with the bouncer about his previous behavior to some girls on the dance floor.

We made our way to the main bar, a long glass counter that had multi colored lights dangling above it creating colorful shadows in the features of everyone's faces. We ordered our drinks, and then found seats on couches around a low table in a corner of the main floor.

I was staring at my beverage skeptically, worried above on how I was going to try and stay sober if the boys had already manage to make me get one of the strongest thing from behind the counter. Long island Ice tea. This was different than my usual, colorful and, mild fruity cocktails, and I had never had more than I could handle before.

“You can drink all you want.” Marcus whispered in my ear. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you don’t act too stupid.“ And with that promise I let everything go and that night I drank more than I ever had before. Mostly it was because I felt so uneasy.

I had instantly I noticed how many people greeted Cameron with a friendly smile or a cheeky kiss from bold and beautiful ladies. To each Cameron responded gaily, his enthusiasm never diminishing thought I could not believe he equally cared for each of them. These were people that all knew the birthday boy, people that had gone to neighboring private school or Holderns themselves. Many of them knew Nate and Ludo, though their greetings were much more typical, and often included a jest in Ludo’s expense. Most greeted Marcus in a similar way to Cameron, though with much more banter. Boys demand for owed money, and girls jokingly asked back for the time they wasted on him and in his bed.

Yet again it was Leo that surprised me. He was the first to order a drink, nonalcoholic lemonade, as sat on the bar stool passively flicking back the lid of his metal lighter, making small talk with only a few brave, or already drunken party goers, keeping to one or two sentences long conversations, before they withdrew themselves unable to handle the level of disinterest he had in the story of what happened in their lives since he last saw them. Few asked about his cut and swollen lip that had paradoxically improved his sex appeal had added ruggedness to the mix of his already desirable characteristics.

I, for one, was feeling out of place, and once Marcus left me, claiming he had to chat with the DJ, and Ludo, Nate, and Cameron had been ushered away by girls, I was left with nothing to do be try and study how the males dance and wonder whether I could copy it or not. What I really wanted was to dance with Cameron, he was head and shoulders above everyone, and though rhythmically he was a bit challenged, he was full of energy and it made me want share some of it with him.

In such an environment I felt ridiculous dressed as a boy, my figure, my size, nothing about it was masculine. I couldn’t get many girls' attention, and the boys, well why would they be interested? Actually there were a few girls that I talked to; they called me cute, and “so” sweet. I reminded a few of their dogs, but other than that nothing was happening. So when there was a swap in DJs and the new one played better remixes of songs I actually knew I downed two shots and two gin cocktails before hitting the dance floor, the alcohol finally giving me the confidence I needed.

I made my way towards the masses of colliding bodies and excess heat and struggled to find Cameron who on spotting me, hastily detached his lips from a curvaceous red head and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards Ludo and Nate who were both still with some women of an unknown age. “Boys, Lucas has come, let’s do this shit!” he exclaimed jumping up and down to the new track of Titanium that blasted out. I tried to tell him that I couldn't dance, but he put his fingers in his ears, either to say he couldn’t hear me, or that he didn’t want to hear it. Either way I started to dance, and struggled not to swing my hips, swish my nonexistent hair, and shake my flattened breast.

“ARE YOU DRUNK YET?” Cameron screamed, an hour later, trying to speak over the pulsating speakers that was to our left. “CAUSE I MUST BE, I KEEP MISTAKING YOU FOR A GIRL! HAHA!”

“AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I WAS?” My voice was rich with seduction and I leaned in towards him. “IF I AM?”

Just as I about to wrap by sluggish arms around his shoulders, Marcus crashed into me and laughed hysterically. “Man, you can dance. Lucas, my man. You are a great dancer for a boy. I am sure tons of girls would love to dance with a boy like you. Should we go find you one? A girl and Cameron can go back to that vermilion lady over there? Hey LUCAS?”

Before me or Cameron could say anything, Marcus dragged me off the dance floor. Once we are in clear distance of any dancers he held me still by placing firm hands on my shoulders. “You are drunk of your pretty little head. Go sit down for now.”

“I am not that drunk. Just tipsy, and nothing was going to happen.” I said trying to shove him away, frustrated to be parted from Cameron who had now gone back to making out with the ginger woman.

I tried to pull myself away from Marcus but instead it only brought him closer and he leaned in to say, “Lucy, Lucy. Lucy, my little secret minx,” he whispered low in my ear. “Tomorrow morning, I am going to remind you that you owe me big time, and that without me, you'd have much more than a killer hangover to regret. Now scat, stay away from Cam, and behave,” And he pushed me away towards our table and couches with a slap on the ass.