One of the Boys

It was indigestion. I pretty sure that's what caused that shiver, the tingle, the little shock wave. It was indigestion. Or heart burn. Heart burn would explain why my heart stroke had escalated. That or a mild heart attack.

My mind ran over and over this, in a circular loop. Since the morning I had been on autopilot. Getting dressed, fed, and to my first period class without thinking about much else. The thought was a leech that had a hold of my mind and I couldn't shake it off. Skylar Richardson had given me heart attack slash heart burn slash indigestion by simply touching me. Obviously getting close to him isn't the best idea. He truly was dangerous, in more ways than one. That, or the pickled sandwich Eric made me earlier had a delayed effect. Probably the latter.

The night had finished in a hast after I was assigned to Skylar. By then it was getting close to two and the students hastily slithered back into their dorm rooms, their mischievous ways gone unseen by the aloof night guards. The first years, plus myself, were held back by the student council who formally greeted us. By formal I mean a factory run of the mill shake of the hand for each of us, a few wishes of luck for the coming years, and a threat wrapped up in their silky language. It took my a while to understand what the were really saying, but it summed up to "This night never happened...The staff will never know of this or the true reason for the room swaps."

Skylar had run away from the scene before I could even speak to him properly and I feared that this new arrangement might make him hate me even more. But perhaps I'll be able to find out the answers to his secrets now. Like the voice mails, the library, his nightly activities. That scene in the parking lot. Something told me he'd never reveal anything to me, but that just fired up my curiosity even more. Frustrating, I know.

When I entered Math class I found myself sitting in the same sit as before, the class almost empty and the teacher not yet here. I was glad I had time to compose myself and switch off zombie mode. Yet I barely had two minutes before the class started filling up with loud and chatty students who, unlike me, were very pleased to have Mr. Max as their math teacher. Kingston Maximus walked in a minute or so later, and brightly welcomed the class, apologizing for the two missing weeks repeatedly.

I quickly ducked my head and focused my attention on the lines of the notepad, resolute on trying to stay as low key this lesson. King did the roll call and I quipped out "here" as quickly as possible. I didn't want him focusing his attention on me at all this lesson. I don't think I could take the guilt from the night before.

The door opened once more, this time letting in Leo Castello who was greeted by various intonations of "Hey!" "Hi!" and "Leo!" much to the displeasure of the teacher and myself. Leo strode in with a cloud of unfazed air surrounding him as he took the desk in middle of the classroom that had been saved for him. Except for a small yawn he slowly exhaled, there was nothing to show for his late night. I on the other hand knew I would be battling sleep for the rest of the day.

"We do not welcome the tardies. Instead we tell them off severely, and humiliate them by asking why they are late and having them answer in front of the whole class," Mr. Max moved and planted his palms on the desk in front of him, leering forward obviously waiting some sort of response from the school council president. Now that I knew for sure that his attention wasn't on me, I dared to look up away from the center of my desk. Kingston steel eyes had zeroed in on Leo the moment the door had swung open. And though he initially looked pretty terrifying I could see hints of small folds in the corners of his mouth, twitching ever so slightly.

"So? Mr. Castello?"

"I had trouble convincing a person that I no longer had a free period to attend to there needs in." The words rolled of his tongue as if they had been rehearsed and his calm camouflaged any suspicion his choice of words might have aroused. The teacher dismissed it, some of the students gave a slight chuckle, I blanched.

So they had been meeting in that storage room every day for the past two weeks when we were supposed to be having our math lessons. The thought of it made squirm, inside and out. How could he be so unflared about it all, opening his satchel, taking out his books, as if he had nothing to hide? And everyone around him so willing to buy into his lies. I guess it takes a liar to know one. He surprised me by turning and catching my stare. The knowing smile seemed to say "That's right".

I scowled at him, and bit my tongue. The stew of swear words I was about to spill out was put on hold. Between lack of sleep, Leo's dirty secret invading my mind with dirty thoughts, and avoiding Kingston's eyes, focusing on the worksheet was complicated. Whenever I dared look up to check the lesson on the board, I caught Kingston watching me with a frustrated look on his face. It was the same expression he wore when trying to solve sudoku puzzles he liked to do. I wonder if he still likes to do them when drinking his tea. Now it looked like he was trying to figure me out. Trying to place me. I couldn't believe he was so drunk the other night that he has forgotten the student that insulted him, and his soon to be ex-wife, and made his baby cry. I wanted to sink down further into my chair, but my chin was already resting on my desk.

I kept wanting to look at him. Each sneaky peek revealed something amazing, like a sneaky extra square of indulgent chocolate. He had matured over the years. Chisiled out here and there, and carried the aura of an adult. He wasn't the lanky teen who loved to teach me maths for kicks, he was a father, a husband, my offical teacher.

When did my life get so screwed up?

And how did he still not recognize me? I wanted him to figure it out already so I could get wrapped up in his warm and tender arms as I explain to him all the things that have happened since he'd last seen me. His arms used to be my favorite place. Well, second to my fathers'.

As the hour long lesson continued to progress slow like molasses, but not sweet in anyway, something became very apparent. I was being treated differently by the other students. When someone tried to secretly pass a note to the guy sitting in front of me, by passing it via me, he was briskly intercepted by another and warned. "Don't pass it to him. You weren't at the initiation so you don't know. Lucas has a really low rank. You don't want him to get a hold of it. Low ranking guys like him would do anything to climb higher up," So instead of me receiving the note, the whispering boy did, and he then passed it on. I had a feeling his loud whispers were intentional. No feeling need to be spared for people of a low ranking.

Later King asked it someone would please fetch the photocopies of the day's homework he had left in the reprographics room. That room is a good five minutes walk away, down loads of stairs in a basement part of the school. Someone called me out as a volunteer, explaining that I'd love to help. Others catching on quickly supported him, saying how I was a nice helpful guy. How I never been to reprographics and have been looking for an excuse to go visit it. How I wanted to see if I knew my way around the school fully.

All these lies were spewed out with enthusiasm. I grinded my teeth and walked out of the classroom. I couldn't protest for fear of drawing more of Kingston's attention to me. The old Lucy would have lashed out, provoked by their lies. A fight would have probably broken out. And old Lucy would have wound up in the headmaster's office. Facing a threat to be expelled once more. New Lucy takes it on the chin.

Their actions made me realise things have changed literally overnight. I was to be picked on, used and isolated, that was the verdict the initiation brought about. Boys, I realized, could be just as cruel as girls.

King is loved by his students. He teases them and laughs along with their inappropriate -non class related jokes. He's the ideal teacher, laid back, knows his stuff, actually makes learning something closely related to the adjective "fun". He lets the students call him by his first name, nicknames are even allowed. When he had first walked in faked trumped fares had sounded and shouts of "Hail the King" had erupted as if common. He knew each of them well enough to ask specific questions about their summer holiday. As always, it wasn't just me who appreciated Kingston.

When I came back and handed him the stack of homework, I manage a simple "Here you are Kingston," attempting a humble smile as well.

"Leave them here. You can go back to your desk now. Oh, and it's Mr. Maximus to you."

The brusqueness of his words startled me, and I almost reached for my cheeks, fearing I had been slapped for it grew alarmingly hot. But his hands hadn't hurt me, just his words. Embarrassed and humiliated by the badly muffled chortles behind me, I turned a deep red. Though I tried to ignore everyone, I manage to catch Leo's watching me closely. Our following interaction went like this; He looked back and forth between meek-little-me and King who wore a seriously pissed off expression. Castello asked me the question by raising a single eyebrow. I answered by turning away. The end.

When the hour and ten minutes have passed and the lesson finally finishes Kingston calls me out, before I can even get my butt out of the hot seat. I watched the other students file out, and soon the class is empty with just me and him left.

Taking his time he walks over to me and crouches down so that he at my eye level, arms folded on the desk for support. This proximity makes me feel uncomfortable and I know I going to start sweating soon if he doesn't back up and stop peering so damn close.

"I remember were I know you from,"

I am no longer breathing.

"It hit me when you brought me those papers. Your that kid that came up the other night with Eric Hales." I don't dare nod but my silence if good enough for an answer.

"I feel bad about that situation. You saw me in an... undignified..." He paused to weigh me up and tried to anticipate my reaction. "Oh screw it! You saw me in a damn right embarrassing situation. I can't believe Eric brought you up to my room. Plus because of my... intoxication I don't remember a thing. Barely. I know I was furious with you however. What for?"

Could he really not remember? He had seemed so sober when he took back his baby and comforted her.

"I had asked for some of your beer. You didn't get too too mad."

"Oh? Really? Haha! I have always been terrible at sharing alcohol when drunk. Did you see anything unusual up there?" He said, pointlessly scratching the back of his neck.

"Well, Eric and I had heard this crying sound coming from your room. So we wanted to go have a look. But we didn't find anything but you crying. I carelessly asked you for some beer, and you got mad. So then I left you alone, and Eric stayed behind to talk with you," I've often surprised myself at being a really good liar. Is pride in such a bad trait a sin?

Kingston looked obviously relieved. His nervous chuckles appeased and he managed to exhale. "Sorry about that. It'll be our little secret, alright? Your first of many in this place I'm sure."

"No, not the first. I have many secrets."

How come it seems like the count of secrets I knew seemed to be increasing at an alarming rate, with my own being in the center of it all.

"Is that so? You know, you still look lika a-"

"I know, I look a little feminine, the boys here don't let me forget it. It's really awkward."

"No. A person I knew. Someone from long ago perhaps. I just can't grasp it fully. I cared a lot for them. Who ever they are. That I remember. Isn't it strange?"

"Yeah. Haha. That's one bad case of deja vu," my chuckle comes out forced and worn. Trying to lighten the mood, I ventured and asked him permission to call him by his first name using our new secret as foundation for a teacher student friendship. His response startled me.

"No," he said. "I can tell you did more than you said to make me mad that night. I had a bad feeling when I remembered you. I'll stick with my instincts for now. You may go. You can tell your next period teacher that I held you back."

And with that I was dismissed. Flustered and confused I hurried out of the room and completly missed the boy who was leaning against the wall next to the door. Until he grabbed my arm and pulled me in, that is.

"Leo?" His mint green eye twinkled with mischief. He was please to see me startled. The firm hold he had on my arm lasted longer that I was comfortable with. As I shook it off he grabbed my wrist and slipped something into my hand. It crinkled as I grabbed hold of it.

"You know," he said pulling me in closer and curving down to whisper just above my shoulder. "When juggling so many secrets, one should really not try to get teachers suspicious of them."

"Screw you Castello. You and your own dirty little secrets can go get lost." I pushed him off of me angry that he even dared speak to me after last night.

"What's wrong?. You dare speak to your school council president like this after the stunt you pulled list night. You know how hard it's going to be for me to salvage this mess and pull you-"

I cut him off. I was more than just a little irritated. "Stunt I pulled? Me? What about our deal? What I did for you the other night. Plus I promised to keep my mouth shut for you. And what do you do? Feed me to the wolves. I know you could have had me sit out the initiation."Mr. I am the School Council President. Bow for me!"' I was huffing and puffing now quickly loosing my chain of thought. When when that starts happening, my knuckles become itchy.

"Are you done now, or do you still need to hit me to get it out of your system," the monotone slash patronizing voice was a bigger blow to my ego than any punch. I screwed up my lips tightly and contented myself to singing evil curse chants in my head. Something about him never fully dying but being in a state so painful it's close to death.

"You're on foreign grounds Lucas, you'd do well to remember that before your visa suddenly expires. So to speak."

He finally let go of my wrist and pulled away, and peacocked down the hallway with a small wave over shoulder, never once looking back.

I glanced down at my balled up fist and saw that it held an envelop. A pristine white, like the last one he'd given me. Inside was a small card with his volant handwriting inviting me to the School Council office Wednesday at five. It said to bring Skylar.

Oh man! Skylar! I had somehow managed to forget about him. But now he was back, occupaying my mind with new things to stress about.

Seriously; When did my life get so screwed up?