Don't Worry, I Fight Dirty

*Three months later*

　

"Katelyn, I'm fine." Cayla laughed. "I just walked into our house, and Rosaleen is fast asleep. Nothing to worry about. Zack will be home in two days."

I groaned. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=25596944

"I know, I just worry about you, okay?" I replied. "You're a new mommy, and I've been helping you even since she was born. I just...I don't know..."

"I get it." She replied. "We're home, we're fine. I'm taking her up to her room right now, okay? Rosaleen is sleeping, and I myself am in need of a serious power nap."

"Okay..." I trailed off. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"I will." She laughed. "Bye!"

"Buh bye." I replied as I hung up. I was all alone in my house, and I was really bored. I decided that a nice walk around the neighborhood would be just what I needed. I grabbed Alex's spar key, and walked out of my house with my cell phone. I made my way to his house. I decided to take Peyton and Bas with me on my walk. Walking gave me time to clear my head, and I needed to that a whole lot lately.

Over the past three months, I've planned most of the wedding, gotten a tiny hair cut, helped Cayla out with Baby Merrick as much as possible, had a production for my dancers, and got another offer for acting. Acting is what made me second guess my entire relationship with Alex...again. You see, I got another offer to do stage productions. This time, they were in New York City. I understand that New York isn't too far away from Baltimore, but it was far enough. I couldn't ask Alex to uproot everything he has going on here to move to New York with me. It just seems selfish and wrong. But if I don't do what I want to do, isn't that cheating myself out of my dream? Why is my life so freaking complicated? All I know is that I don't want to leave Alex again. I can't leave him. He's my other half, we fit like puzzle pieces.

My walk wasn't helping me much, so I turned back around. I took Peyton and Bas back to Alex's house, and I locked it back up. Apon returning to my two story house, I changed from my sleep pants and oversized tee-shirt to something presentable. I was going to do something that I haven't done in a really long time, and I know that I needed it right now. Despite the fact that sounded dirty, I knew what I needed to do. I changed into something nice, and I grabbed my car keys and iPhone.

It was only a ten minute drive. That gave me at least ten minutes to decide if I was even going to get out of my car or not. I'm always like this when I visit these places. I can't help it, my brain can't make up it's mind. But usually, I go. I haven't been up here in a while. It seemed sort of out of the ordinary. On the way up the drive way, I stopped at a cute little flower shop called Izzy's Flowers. I laughed because that used to be my mom's flower shop. I swear, it was like her baby. When I was growing up here in Baltimore, my parents and myself went to a little church not too far from here, and on the way up, my mom would always stop by to see how her babies were doing. We would all go to church, and on the way back, we would stop again. The second time we usually stayed for a couple of hours. It was always like that. My dad, my mom, and me. Just us three. Sometimes The Gaskarth's would join us to, but they went to their own church.

I slowly pulled into the small building's parking lot that was unseemingly busy. I parked my car, and I slowly got out. The familiar sent of roses and lillies filled the air the second I stepped foot into the old shop. I looked all around for my favortie flowers; Daisy's and roses. Once I found the gorgeous mix all too familiar, but in a comforting way. I slowly walked up to the desk, and Louis was standing there.

"Well, well, well." Louis laughed. "Look who we have here."

"Hey, Louis." I replied after she started to ring up my flowers.

"How are you? It's been forever since I've seen you last."

"I was around town. I thought that I would come up this way... you know, to think."

Louis nodded.

"Those flowers are free."

"What?" I looked at her shocked.

"Your mom used to own this flower shop. She's the reason why I even have a job right now.

"Thank you so much." I stated, my voice already cracking.

I was about to cry.

"You're welcome!" Louis called after me. "Let's do lunch sometime."

I nodded.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later, Louis." I stated, picking up my flowers and walking out of the store. I got into my car, and drove slowly to where I was headed. I felt the lump in my throat grow as I got closer.

Finally, when I was there, I cut off my car, and talked through the grave yard. I skimmed the tomb stones, and then I finally found her's. I found my mom's tumbstone. My tears surprised every time I came to visit her. When I was nineteen was the last time I had been up here. I was now 21. The pain was still fresh, it still hurt. I needed my mom. I missed her. So this is what I do. When I'm completely lost without any direction at all, I go to her old flower shop, come to her grave, and I cry. Not only do I cry, but I tell her what I'm going through. Sometimes I feel her when I talk. It's like she's actually here, and she's listening to me. She wants to help me, because she loves me. I sat the flowers down on the tumb stone, and stared at it for a few minutes.

"Hey mom. I miss you, but when don't I?" I started. " I guess by now you figured out that I came to talk to you. I'm going through something right now. A lot has happened the last time I saw you. I'm not dating Adam anymore. We broke up about three years ago. It was all because of Alex too. He always didn't like him." I couldn't keep myself from slightly laughing. "I started to date Alex too, mom. He was such a good boyfriend. I was happy. When Alex and I got together, I stopped cutting. I mean, I stopped cold turkey. It was the best feeling in the entire world. He made me feel like I could do anything, like I could reach for the stars. We only dated for about three months. We moved way too fast, mom. I loved him, I did. We were crazy in love. I gave myself to Alex. It was right. It was perfect.

"Do you remember Alex's band with Jack, Rian, and Zack? They all made it big. They tour all of the time, and they have out two cd's and a few ep's. They're working on their fourth full length cd. But anyway, when Alex had to leave for tour again, we fell apart. When I was nineteen, I got a job offer that I couldn't refuse. I got a offer to do Broadway in London, mom. It was huge. I couldn't turn it down, and Alex knew that. He didn't force me to stay, but I knew that he wanted me too. Part of me wishes that I did. I was gone for a year. During that year, I got engaged to a guy named Mason. I thought I fell in love with him, but Alex showed up at one of my productions, and all of my emotions and love for him came back. Then we got into a fight, and we decided that we couldn't be around each other anymore. Two years after that, Mason and I moved back here. Alex hated Mason. Turns out, Mason cheated on me...a lot. Alex even got into a fight, but that didn't stop me from walking down the aisle.

"No, I didn't marry Mason, but I did almost. After I ran from Mason, Alex saved me again. We started to slowly start talking, and then we dated again. I still loved Alex with all of my heart. We've been a couple for four and a half months now mom. Alex asked me to marry him, and I'm going to. I'm not letting him go this time. He's meant for me, but then again, you always knew that," I laughed, letting my tears just flow instead of trying to hold them in. "I've been planning the wedding for the last three months. It's almost done, but the other day I got a call from a writer in New York City. He wants me to come our and try for the lead in a play. The lead, mom! I know that it's huge oppertunity, but I just can't leave Alex. He's it for me, momma, and I don't know what to do. I want to take this chance, but I have so much here. I can't just leave you and daddy again. That would be wrong.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, would be wrong if I asked Alex to move to New York with me, or should we stay here in Baltimore?" I asked finally, letting more tears fall.

"I think that you should tell him. He might surprise you."

I jumped at the voice behind me. I turned around to see Alex standing there in skinny jeans, black v neck, pink GK sweatshirt and signature gray beanie. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=25671633

"What are you doing here?" I asked, slowly standing up as he walked closer.

"Well, I just got off tour, and I totally expected to see my gorgeous fiance, but she wasn't there. That's when I called her best friend, and when her best friend was worried about her, I knew something was wrong. So, I put myself in your position. I usually visit Daniel's grave when I really need to talk to him."

"How much of that did you hear?" I asked Alex as he came closer.

I hugged my arms to my body.

"All of it."

"Really?"

Alex nodded.

"I think we need to talk about New York,"

I agreed silently, and we walked to a empty bench.

"Okay. Here it goes..."