Thinking of You
One.
His eyes were like tiny pinpricks of fire that made her soul feel alive, and his touch was something even more amazing than that.
She could see him from where she was sitting, and she was totally transfixed. The way his eyes would sparkle slightly when he laughed, the way one side of his mouth would curl up in a lop-sided grin, the way his dark hair flopped over his face and looked so soft and so touchable. She could still remember the way his hair felt as she curled it in between her fingers, how right it would feel as she gripped it softly yet firmly as his lips crashed against hers and for a brief moment time itself seemed to stand still and the seasons seemed to change for them and the stars seemed to stay out just for their love.
But was it love? She was pretty convinced it was. She was sure that love had something to do with the way time seemed to stand still for them and everything seemed to happen just so they could have a brief few seconds where their eyes were locked onto one another’s and the smile on his face played around his lips for her. But if it was love, why were his fingers entwining with someone else’s right now? Why was his smile playing on his face for someone else, and why was she watching from several metres away, her heart aching as she plastered what she hoped was a realistic smile onto her face in case his beautiful eyes happened to glance over and find her watching?
Did he look happy with this other girl? Was it pure imagination that saw his eyes every so often darting away from his girlfriend and to the direction of his past love? Or was there some truth there, some hint of things to come, some hint of things that had been and gone? She didn’t know, and she wasn’t entirely sure if it was wishful thinking or not. Perhaps it was, but at the moment she was happy to content herself with the thought that he still felt the same way about her, and perhaps that somewhere, deep in the back of his mind or maybe not so deep at all, he was looking at her out of the corner of his eye and thinking the exact same thing. That he loved her, and he needed her to need him and wanted her to want him, just as she felt the exact same way about him.
"You ready to go, babe?"
The voice broke into her thoughts and she tore her eyes away from her love, hoping for a minute that she was imagining him with his girlfriend and she would turn around to find him standing behind her, that smile on his face and his eyes looking into hers. Of course, it was nothing like that. It was her own boyfriend, and she didn’t understand it at all. When she was with him she was only thinking of the young man she had previously been watching, and she didn’t know why she was still lying to herself.
"Yeah," she said softly, and he briefly kissed her lips and her thoughts instantly went to him, and she just wanted it to be just like it used to be, and for one brief second that could have lasted for forever if she had her own way she could believe that things were normal and he was back in her arms and –
"Let’s head off, then."
Reality crashed down around her and she forced her eyes open, pulling herself from her fantasy.
"OK," she said softly, and she forced herself not to look back as his fingers entwined with hers and she tried to think that it was her true love. Of course his fingers were entwined with someone else’s right now, but, perhaps, if he felt the same way and was thinking the same thing as she was ...
In their minds, perhaps they were holding one another’s hands, and that was enough for her at the moment. What would be would be, but for now, she was happy to be thinking of him. She could stay like this for forever if she truly believed, and for now, truly believing was all she could do.
She could see him from where she was sitting, and she was totally transfixed. The way his eyes would sparkle slightly when he laughed, the way one side of his mouth would curl up in a lop-sided grin, the way his dark hair flopped over his face and looked so soft and so touchable. She could still remember the way his hair felt as she curled it in between her fingers, how right it would feel as she gripped it softly yet firmly as his lips crashed against hers and for a brief moment time itself seemed to stand still and the seasons seemed to change for them and the stars seemed to stay out just for their love.
But was it love? She was pretty convinced it was. She was sure that love had something to do with the way time seemed to stand still for them and everything seemed to happen just so they could have a brief few seconds where their eyes were locked onto one another’s and the smile on his face played around his lips for her. But if it was love, why were his fingers entwining with someone else’s right now? Why was his smile playing on his face for someone else, and why was she watching from several metres away, her heart aching as she plastered what she hoped was a realistic smile onto her face in case his beautiful eyes happened to glance over and find her watching?
Did he look happy with this other girl? Was it pure imagination that saw his eyes every so often darting away from his girlfriend and to the direction of his past love? Or was there some truth there, some hint of things to come, some hint of things that had been and gone? She didn’t know, and she wasn’t entirely sure if it was wishful thinking or not. Perhaps it was, but at the moment she was happy to content herself with the thought that he still felt the same way about her, and perhaps that somewhere, deep in the back of his mind or maybe not so deep at all, he was looking at her out of the corner of his eye and thinking the exact same thing. That he loved her, and he needed her to need him and wanted her to want him, just as she felt the exact same way about him.
"You ready to go, babe?"
The voice broke into her thoughts and she tore her eyes away from her love, hoping for a minute that she was imagining him with his girlfriend and she would turn around to find him standing behind her, that smile on his face and his eyes looking into hers. Of course, it was nothing like that. It was her own boyfriend, and she didn’t understand it at all. When she was with him she was only thinking of the young man she had previously been watching, and she didn’t know why she was still lying to herself.
"Yeah," she said softly, and he briefly kissed her lips and her thoughts instantly went to him, and she just wanted it to be just like it used to be, and for one brief second that could have lasted for forever if she had her own way she could believe that things were normal and he was back in her arms and –
"Let’s head off, then."
Reality crashed down around her and she forced her eyes open, pulling herself from her fantasy.
"OK," she said softly, and she forced herself not to look back as his fingers entwined with hers and she tried to think that it was her true love. Of course his fingers were entwined with someone else’s right now, but, perhaps, if he felt the same way and was thinking the same thing as she was ...
In their minds, perhaps they were holding one another’s hands, and that was enough for her at the moment. What would be would be, but for now, she was happy to be thinking of him. She could stay like this for forever if she truly believed, and for now, truly believing was all she could do.
♠ ♠ ♠
1/50 - Katy Perry; Thinking Of You.