The Only Hope for Me Is You Alone

It's been a few days since Gerard called. I cleaned up the house a bit, since Bert was coming over a lot. He came over before and after his concerts. I sat in the living room and looked at Gerard's chair. He would sit in it every day and tell me about his day or tell Annabel a story. One day, I was upset because my dad was in the hospital and he pulled me onto his lap. He held me in that chair all night. I saw car headlights in my window. I turned and saw Gerard's car. Annabel saw his car and got very excited.
"Daddy's home!" Annabel said with so much excitement. I walked to the door as he got out of his car. He had a cane. Annabel ran out into the snow and hugged him. "Daddy! I missed you so much!"
"I missed you too my beautiful baby girl!" He smiled. "Go inside you're gonna catch a cold." Annabel walked him inside and took him to his chair.
"Thanks baby girl." Gerard smiled and sat down. He picked up Annabel and sat her on his lap. I walked into the room and looked at him. Gerard smiled then looked at me up and down, the smile wiped off his face. I walked up to the bedroom.
A few minutes later, Gerard walked in and closed the door.
"Annabel's in her bed."
I looked up at him. "Okay."
"Lindsey... You're pregnant?"
I nodded.
Gerard smiled.
"Why didn't you use protection?"
"Baby.. Don't start this..."
"You wanted me pregnant."
"Yes."
"Gerard!"
"No wonder why... You're having mood swings." he said as he sat on the bed and took off his shoes.
"Gerard... I can't have this baby."
"Yes, you can. I'm here for you."
"You said you were leaving."
"Lindsey, you're a bitch."
"Get out."
"Lindsey stop it already,"
"Out Gerard!"
"My house Lindsey! My house!"
I walked out of the bedroom.
"Lindsey!"
I walked back in the room.
"What?!"
"Lindsey come here"
I walked in and crossed my arms at my chest.
"Lindsey you have to understand, I'm... getting older." He said as he laid back and looked at me seriously. "I hate to accept the fact but.. I'm almost 30..."
"You're 28. You're young." I said as I shut the door behind me. I walked in and stood at the foot of our bed.
"Lindsey... I'm on tour for a long time. I want to settle down now... In between the band break so we can add to our family."
"Gerard no..."
"Lindsey, please."
"Gerard... You don't understand how painful it is for me to go through a birth-"
"Every woman goes through it at some point."
"Let me finish, Gerard.." I said as I rolled my eyes. I looked at him. "Gerard... I'm not going into why. You were at Annabel's. I almost died."
"Lindsey... Look, I wasn't thinking."
"Gerard, you never think about anyone but yourself! I understand that you want a baby but, I can't give that to you."
"You can abort it..."
"Gerard... I'll keep it.."
"Lindsey-"
"Gerard... I don't believe in abortion..." I said as I took off my jeans and went over to the light switch.
"Lindsey..."
"Gerard" I said as I crawled into bed.
Gerard grabbed me into his arms.
I smiled and looked at him. He was crying.
"Gerard.."
Gerard looked at me. "Do you want to know the reason why I didn't use protection?"