The Way We Talk

Jack walked through the aisles of Ralph’s grocery store looking for something that would appeal to his sweet tooth. Not a single thing held his interest though. He sighed; grabbing a medium bag of peanut M&M’s off the shelf. They would have to do.

Holly wasn’t coming this weekend; she’d had some event to go to; like always. And then dinner with the group earlier hadn’t been completely perfect. Jack ran a hand through his hair. He replayed the night’s events in his mind and wondered why he hadn’t just leave things alone. That was his problem, he didn’t know when to quit.

On the one hand, he still had feelings for Abby; he always would, he assumed. Abby was one of his real relationships, and they didn’t exactly end things the right way. Having Abby lay things out on the line and reminding him that they both moved on was a bit unsettling. It sort of just confused him more. How could they just forget about each other, not be a part of one another’s life in some way? He’d thought he’d never see her again and then she’d waltzed right in two years after their breakup, and all the old feelings came back.

On the other hand, she had a boyfriend, who she supposedly loved and he had a girlfriend who he enjoyed being with, when she managed to find some time to spend with him. Being with Holly was fun, easy sometimes, even. He didn’t really have to do much in this relationship. If they saw each other, fine; if not, oh well. But even Jack had to admit he missed his old relationship, the kind he had with Abby. So maybe that’s why he missed her. Maybe it wasn’t that he actually was still in love with his old high school flame, he just missed that type of relationship.

He headed toward the register, candy in hand when he saw her rush in through the sliding doors, still in her dress, smiling and laughing as a guy chased after her. He could’ve kept walking, but instead he chose to hang back, follow the couple, and hope that he didn’t seem stalkerish.

“You pick one,” Abby giggled. “You’re better at picking good wine than I am.”

“Oh please, you just hate making decisions,” the man with her laughed.

“Make all of my decisions for me,” Abby smirked, half singing, half speaking. Jack couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face.

The man with her, however, missed her allusion completely, and instead busied himself with the small selection of wine on the shelf. Jack decided he should just leave when he accidentally bumped into the soup can display next to him. The cans tumbled to the floor with an obnoxiously loud clang and Jack swore under his breath as he scrambled to keep the cans from rolling away.

“Jack?”

Jack looked up as Abby appeared above him. “Uh, h-hey Abs.”

Abby sank to the floor and began grabbing the cans that he’d missed, standing them up on the shelf. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I just needed something sweet to finish off dinner.” He held up the M&M bag. “What are you doing here?” Jack questioned, his eyes moving to the man behind her.

“Oh, uh, this is my boyfriend, Jared.” Abby introduced him. So this was the elusive boyfriend. “Jared, this is Jack, guitarist for All Time Low.”

Jared grinned and held out his hand. “Nice to finally meet you, Abby never shuts up about you guys.”

Jack laughed nervously, extending his own hand to shake Jared’s. “Yeah? She never seemed to talk much about you.”

Abby shot him a glare and shook her head.

“I mean, she mentioned you a lot, but she didn’t really tell me about you,” Jack corrected himself lamely.

“Yeah, well I like to keep my work separate from home,” Abby interjected, crossing her arms.

“I get it,” Jack nodded. “So you’re the boyfriend?”

“Fiancée, actually,” Jared corrected.

Jack looked up at Abby in shock. “Fiancée?”

Abby bit her lip and held up her left hand, showing Jack the diamond that now rested on her ring finger. “Yeah, um, it’s pretty recent. We’re celebrating,” she motioned to the wine.

Jack felt his heart sink inexplicably, but he managed a smile. “Uh, wow. That’s great, Abby. Congratulations.

“Nice meeting you, Jack,” Jared smiled sincerely, which made it harder for Jack to dislike him.

“Yeah, likewise,” Jack smiled ruefully. “Congrats, man. She’s one hell of a girl. I better go; Alex is waiting for me,” he lied.

Abby nodded waved goodbye as Jared grabbed her hand, shifting her attention to the wine selection again.

Jack paid for his candy, not even sure he’d eat it now, but maybe one of the guys would want it. He slipped through the sliding doors wondering where on earth these feelings of jealousy were coming from.

He finally got to the hotel he’d been calling home and found the living area occupied by his best friend and his old ex cuddling on the couch. He’d forgiven both Lisa and Alex a long time ago, but it still hurt to see them so happy together when he was still so alone, even with Holly.

Lisa noticed Jack first and smacked Alex as he went in to kiss her neck. Alex always had liked marking his property.

“Oh, hey man,” Alex greeted. Jack didn’t say anything, just nodded his head in acknowledgement.

Lisa frowned, noting how down Jack looked. She sat up and eyed Jack with concern. “What’s wrong, Jack?”

Jack shook his head. “Nothing… I don’t know,” Jack admitted.

Alex joined his girlfriend with a frown of his own and patted the seat in between them. “Come here Jack Attack.”

Jack walked over dejectedly and sat himself down. “I went to the store and I ran into Abby and her… fiancée.” Even the word tasted bad coming out of his mouth.”

Lisa’s mouth fell open. “Her fiancée? She didn’t tell me she got engaged. She didn’t even tell me he was here!”

“Apparently it’s all very new. He proposed tonight,” Jack explained. “And I don’t understand why I’m so bothered by it.”

Alex sighed, tossing his arm around Jack’s shoulders. “It bothers you because you still care about her more than you let on. Jack… do you really care about Holly?”

“Well yeah, I mean, I like hanging out with her,” Jack said. “I enjoy her company.”

“Yeah, but do you love her?” Lisa asked.

“I don’t know,” Jack admitted. “It’s not like when I was with her”

“Jack, I think that you’re only lying to yourself when you say you’re over Abby. And I think that she loves you too,” Lisa said quietly.

“She obviously doesn’t care about me that way anymore. She said yes to him,” Jack sighed. “She told me that we were done, even as friends and we’d never see each other again after this. She’s done, and I need to be done too.”

Alex nodded. “Well then, we’re here for you, whatever you choose.”

“I think I just need some time to think,” Jack nodded solemnly. He stood up and went to his room, pulling out his phone and dialing Holly’s number.

“Hello?” Holly answered on the third ring.

“Hey Holls, it’s me.”

“Hey Jackalope, what’s wrong?”

“I wish I could say nothing, but actually something is wrong,” Jack sighed.

“Well, uh, could I call you back later? I’m a bit busy,” Holly asked delicately.

Jack sighed and found himself getting upset. “No, I’d rather discuss this now. Look, I don’t think you’re really putting that much effort here.”

“What are you saying?” Holly asked, more intrigued now.

“I just feel like you would rather focus on your work instead of me,” Jack said into the receiver.

“My work is important to me. You knew that when we started seeing each other, she reminded him.

“I know I did, I just guess I thought I’d be able to see more of you is all,” Jack rushed to explain. “I don’t feel like we’re really a couple.”

Holly sighed. “You’re right, I guess. I really do like you Jack, but my life is crazy busy right now. I’m sorry. What if you and I went on a vacation soon?”

“I think that would be great; I’d really like that.”

“Okay then, I’ll figure out when the best time would be and I’ll call you,” Holly said finally.

“That sounds great.” Jack grinned. “Sorry I’m a clingy bitch.”

Holly laughed quietly. “It’s okay, Jackalope. You’re my clingy bitch.”

Jack hung up his phone, with a chuckle. At least that went better than he’d expected; he’d been promised some quality time with his girlfriend.

Maybe he’d get engaged to Holly one day. It was a real possibility, he thought. Abby was engaged, so why shouldn’t he be too? Then he realized that he could’ve been the one engaged to Abby if he hadn’t screwed up so many times.

He ran a hand through his hair, letting his mind wander.

He missed a lot of things about her, the way she scrunched her nose when she laughed, the way she always seemed to be able to make him feel better even when he was completely upset; hell, he even missed the way she would nag at him about things, because it meant that she cared enough to do so.

He missed carrying her to bed after she fell asleep during movies, which always happened; he missed playing with her curls, he just missed her. Did she ever miss him?

No, he thought. If they really missed each other the way he thought they did, they would’ve worked it out. They wouldn’t have given up so easily.

The shrill ring of his phone startled him from his reverie. He grabbed it, noting that it was already late, who could be calling at this hour?

Incoming call: Abby

He debated answering, but couldn’t help himself. “Abby? Hey.”

“Hey, Jack. I’m sorry I’m calling you so late,” Abby apologized. She kept her voice low, Jack noted, probably because Jared was somewhere near, more than likely next to her sleeping right now.

“Hey, Abs. It’s okay, it’s only like midnight. What’s going on?” Jack asked.

“I just, I wanted to apologize for tonight. You didn’t deserve to find out about me and Jared like that. I should’ve texted you or something.”

“Abby, it’s okay. You don’t owe me anything; we’re in the past you know? It’s not like I told you about Holly,” Jack shrugged, even though she couldn’t see him.

“I’m still sorry though,” Abby sighed. “I don’t even know why I am, but I am. I know I said that we’re never going to be anything, not even friends, but I’m not sure I’m okay with that.”

Jack could hear her voice break near the end of her sentence. “Abby, are you crying?”

“No,” she whispered, but the sniffle gave her away. He heard shuffling and soft footfalls as she changed rooms.

“Abby, don’t cry. Why are you crying? You just got engaged. You should be happy,” Jack attempted to calm her down. He hated that odd sensation he felt when he made any mention of the ring on her left hand.

“I know, but I’m a horrible person,” she sniffed.

“Why?”

She stayed silent, too silent. Jack checked his phone to make sure it hadn’t ended the call, she was so quiet.

“Abigail, why are you a horrible person?” Jack repeated.

She took a shaky breath. “Because I feel like I’m making a mistake.”

Jack frowned, not entirely sure what to tell her. He was curious though. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. I’m so confused and I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“Do you love him?” Jack asked, more worried about how he’d feel about her answer, than her actual answer. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he waited for her answer.

“Yes,” she said after a minute. Jack inhaled and cursed himself for preparing to say his next sentence aloud.

“Then you’re not making a mistake,” Jack replied slowly. “You belong with him.”

“Thank you, Jack. For listening,” she told him.

“’Course, anytime,” Jack said automatically. “I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Go to bed.”

“Goodnight, Jacky.”

Jack hung up the phone and plugged it into his wall charger as he settled in for the night, wondering if he had just made his own mistake.

Abby stared at her reflection in the mirror. Jack said she wasn’t making a mistake; therefore, she was not making a mistake. She loved Jared and she was going to spend the rest of her life with him. Yeah. This was a great thing, she thought to herself. She smiled reassuringly at her reflection.

This was a good thing.