The Way We Talk

“So have you decided what colors you’re going to use yet?”

I stared at the screen of my phone, waiting for a reply from Jack. He’d been asking a lot of questions about my upcoming nuptials. Aimee snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Huh?”

“I asked if you’d already made a decision as to what colors you’re using,” Aimee repeated as she spread out ten, thick wedding magazines across the table. I gawked at them with dread. How was I supposed to look at everything and make decisions? I rubbed my temples, a headache already coming on simply from the sight of Aimee’s wedding catalogs. “No, I haven’t. Wedding planning is torture!”

Aimee laughed, rolling her eyes at me. “Uh, yeah it is. You knew that when you helped me with mine.”

“But I’d forgotten!” I lamented. “It was so much easier then. You were the one who had to make the decisions. Now I have to make them! Jared doesn’t even care what I choose.”

“Welcome to the life of the engaged woman,” Aimee grinned. “Besides, this is your fault… you procrastinated and wasted three months putting things off. Who does that?”

“I just thought it was going to be easier than this,” I admitted. Was getting married really even worth it? “I want to just get it over with.”

Aimee frowned as she sat across from me, two mugs of tea in hand. “Get it over with? Why would you want to ‘get it over with’? It’s the most special day in your life.”

“I just... I don’t want a big wedding,” I answered, picking at the frayed hem of my blouse. “I just want to be married already. I don’t want to deal with the stress of planning it, inviting people, seeing people I have absolutely no desire to see, but had to invite them because it was the proper thing to do.”

Aimee nodded, taking a sip from her mug. She stared at me for a moment. “Are you sure that’s what’s bothering you?”

I looked down at my phone, checking yet again for a new message. “What do you mean? What else could there be? ”

She sighed and slid a mug over to me. “I mean, are you sure you want to get married to Jared?”

I frowned. “Of course I do! Why would you even question that?”

“Because I know for a fact that you’re not checking for messages from Jared,” Aimee answered.

“What? Of course I am. Who else would I be texting?” I frowned at her.

Aimee rolled her eyes. “Abigail, I’m not stupid. You’d think you would change his name at least to something that wouldn’t raise a big, red flag.”

“You looked through my messages?” I asked, annoyed that she’d breech my privacy.

“No, I assumed. But looks like I guessed right,” Aimee smirked.

“I hate you,” I muttered, checking my phone again.

“I know you love me. Anyway, but what’s the deal with Jack then?” Aimee asked.

“Nothing, there is no deal. We were just… talking. He’ll ask me how things with the wedding are going, and I’ll ask him how things are with his life.” I shrugged.

“And how are things on his end?”

“Uh, not so hot,” I answered reluctantly. A sigh escaped my mouth when I realized that she expected more of an explanation. I went with a neutral subject, instead of diving into Jack’s most recent problem. “Interscope pushed back the record release again. It was supposed to come out this month and now it’s not. No one knows when it actually will.”

“Well that sucks,” Aimee. “I bet all the guys are down about that. So how’s Holly?”

I sucked in a breath. I should’ve known Aimee would pry about his relationship status. “She’s fine, I guess. They’re fine.”

Aimee nodded, thoughtfully. “That’s interesting because if you two are friends, then you must know that he and Holly just broke up.”

I groaned. “You’ve been digging!”

“Of course I have it’s my job!” Aimee argued.

“It is not,” I remarked. “Don’t be meddling.”

“How’s he doing?” Aimee ignored my censure.

“He’s fine. It was mutual, it wasn’t really working out,” I responded.

“I bet it’s hard, a long distance relationship. But I mean it could work. Look at you and Jared, for instance. You’re doing okay, right?”

“Right, yeah,” I agreed hesitantly. I hadn’t actually spoken to my fiancée in over three weeks, but we were fine; totally.

“So it’s not impossible.”

“Of course it’s not impossible,” I mutter. “But it’s hard. Even Jack and I had problems. It’s actually why we broke up…” I looked up at my sister suddenly. “What if that happens with Jared?”

“Abby, you and Jack did not break up because of distance. You broke up because you both cheated on each other and hurt each other too much to go on. You just used distance as the excuse,” Aimee replied. She reached across the table and clasped my hands in hers. “You and Jared trust each other. You communicate. Your relationship is solid.”

I smiled slightly. I wanted to believe her. But in the last three months since Jared and I had gotten engaged, it didn’t feel like we were getting closer. It felt like distance was coming between us. But could I really blame distance when we’d been fine for over a year? It wasn’t until a certain dark-haired guitarist reappeared in my life that the little things in my and Jared’s relationship started bothering me.

The endless cycle was starting again. I shook my head.

I am in love with Jared, I told myself.

“You’re right, we’re fine. We’re better than fine, actually. We’re great. Now, help me make decisions about this damn wedding,” I grinned.

*********

“I’m sorry; did you just say you wanted to invite your ex-girlfriend to our wedding?” I asked as I sat across the booth from Jared in a small diner we’d found just outside of Manhattan. I’d flown in a couple of days ago to spend some time with him and to hopefully wrap up our invitation list. However, we’d just run into an issue.

I sat up as he sighed and put down his fork. “Yes, I would like to invite her.”

“Samantha Holloway, your Texas high school sweetheart, the girl who broke your heart?” I raised an eyebrow.

“That was a long time ago,” Jared stated, stirring his coffee. “We’re friends now. You knew that.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually want to invite her. I’m friends with one of my ex’s and you don’t see me inviting him to the wedding,” I muttered, taking a bite of my waffle.

“Do you actually keep in touch with him?” Jared asked. “I talk to Sam all the time.”

I gave him a pointed look.

Jared rolled his eyes at me. “Not like that. You know I wouldn’t do that. I’m faithful to you and you know it. But what I mean is, we keep in touch, we’re friends. She knows all about you, she’s happy for me, and she may have hinted that she’d like to meet you. I figured the wedding would be as good a place as any.”

I frowned, not because I thought Jared was lying to me, but because he was actually telling the truth. He actually wanted me to be friends with his ex. And why shouldn’t I be? I mean, she was an important piece of his life once upon a time, now I’m that piece. Finally, I realized that maybe I could be okay with this.

“Fine,” I conceded. “Invite her.” I handed him a napkin. “Write down her address for me and I’ll mail her an invitation.”

Jared smiled as he pulled out a pen. “Thank you. So which ex of the many are you inviting?”

I made a face at him. “I only had two exes. It will be three if you keep it up. And I’m not inviting either of them. I’d like to hurt one very much and I’d hate to go to jail the day of our wedding.”

Jared snorted. “What about the other one?”

I cut another piece of waffle with my fork as I shrugged. “I don’t think he’d want to come. I’m sure he’ll be busy anyway.”

Jared frowned slightly. “You know, you never really talk about ex number two. You’ve told me everything about number one, but never even number two’s name.”

“That’s because it’s irrelevant. Besides, it didn’t end well.”

“It ended worse than with nude pictures and an elaborate lie? That seems hard to top,” Jared joked.

“Just shut up, Jared, I don’t want to talk about Jack, okay?” I let my fork clatter on the plate.

Jared stared at me. “Jack? You’re not talking about Jack your friend in a band, are you?”

I stared down at my food, suddenly losing my appetite.

“Oh my god, you are talking about Jack the guy in the band. You worked with him for nine months and you never once mentioned it. Why?” Jared asked.

“I don’t know, Jared. I just didn’t,” I answered lamely.

“You dated the guitarist of your favorite band. You said you’d only met them like twice,” Jared stated.

I could already see the cogs turning in his head. He was putting everything together, like one giant puzzle piece. I’d mentioned my relationship with Jack a few times while Jared and I were dating. Even then, I’d only mention things in passing, never anything with detail. He knew that it had been a serious relationship, which had lasted almost three years. He knew it was someone from Baltimore, but that was about it. As he’d said, I never even said his name.

“Why would you lie to me?” he asked.

“I don’t like to talk about it,” I answered simply. “It’s a very sore subject.”

“Bullshit,” Jared mumbled. “You could have told me about it. What else have you been hiding?”

“Nothing! I’m not hiding anything; I just didn’t tell you anything about him. He was my past. I wanted a fresh start when I met you.” I looked at him. “I didn’t want to have to explain myself.”

“Explain what?” Jared stared at me, waiting for an answer I wasn’t going to give.

I set down my napkin on top of the plate. “I need the restroom, if you don’t mind.”

I stood up without waiting for a response and high tailed it to the ladies’ room.

********

Jared sat in the booth, completely flabbergasted. Abby had kept this little secret very well hidden. How could he have not known?

He heard a faint vibrating sound coming from the other side of the table; Abby’s phone. He reached over and grabbed it, simply staring at the screen. It was Adam, Abby’s brother. Jared set it down, letting the voice mail pick up.

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was planning, but seeing as Abby was never going to tell him what happened, he figured he’d have to play detective. And that’s when he decided he needed Jack’s number.

Jared scrolled through Abby’s contacts, looking for Jack’s information. He was pleased to see that she wasn’t hiding him under a different name, a good sign. He quickly imputed Jack’s number into his own phone before returning Abby’s phone to its previous resting spot.

Abby returned moments later, grabbing her phone and purse, shoving the list they’d been going over into the bag. “I’m ready to go.”

Jared nodded, deciding that he’d let their earlier subject die. He had some investigating to do.