The Way We Talk

Jack stepped into my apartment hesitantly, probably feeling just as out of place as I did. I followed as he walked through the foyer into the living area. He looked around; taking in every detail of the place I called home. I tried to look at it from his point of view. What would Jack Barakat find interesting about my apartment?

“You kept the same color scheme,” Jack noted, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“What?” I asked, looking at the room. I had a brown sofa with green and tan throw pillows. The carpet was the same brown as the sofa, the lower half of the wall was a tan color followed by a brown strip and sage green on the upper half of the walls.

“You kept the same color scheme that you had at our house. It kind of looks the same, or at least the way it was when you were living there,” he backtracked. He spotted the pictures on the entertainment center, making his way over to them before he stopped and looked at me questioningly.

“You can look at them, I’m going to go change real quick,” I said, walking to my bedroom. I slipped off my dress and pulled on a pair of sweats and one of Jared’s t-shirts. I studied my appearance, not wanting to look absolutely hideous, but not bothering to impress either. I shouldn’t care what Jack thought, but I couldn’t help but want him to remember what I had to offer.

I took a deep breath and stepped back into the living area where Jack was still studying the pictures. He didn’t bother turning around, but somehow new that I was back.

“You don’t have any pictures of any of us,” he said, referring to the ATL band and crew.

“Uh, yeah I um, I didn’t want reminders,” I replied gently. Jack nodded, reaching for the picture of Jared and I by the lake, similar to the one I’d had of Jack and I in Baltimore.

“Is this your new boyfriend?” he asked. I couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what was in his voice, but there was something; jealously maybe?

“Uh, yeah, that’s Jared. We’ve been together for about a year,” I answered, not sure why I suddenly felt so awkward talking about him to Jack. “He’s on tour right now; also a musician.”

“Does he make you happy?” Jack turned to face me, studying my face as I prepared my answer.

“Yeah, he does. He makes me feel amazing, like I’m worth the world,” I answered softly.

“That’s because you are,” Jack replied, just as quietly. He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have come here. I should really just get going.” Jack began walking towards the door.

“No, wait,” I stopped him, grabbing the sleeve of his leather jacket between my fingers. I looked up at him, hoping that I wasn’t making a mistake. “Stay, please.”

Jack heaved a sigh, and I knew I’d won when he reluctantly turned back to sit in the living area. I smiled lightly and noticed the shadow of a smile playing on his lips.

“I’ll be right back,” I stated, holding up a finger to tell him to give me a moment. I sprinted into the kitchenette and opened a bottle of wine, pouring myself a glass. I slipped the bottle into the fridge, grabbing a beer for Jack as I returned. He never was one to care for wine. He took it gratefully as I sat opposite him on the couch. I curled up into the armrest, sticking my feet under me to keep warm.

“So, what happened after you left?” Jack was the first to break the silence.

“Well, I went home packed up my things and stayed with my parents for a few days before I decided to move here. I started interning with Interscope, and they decided to keep me on,” I shortened my two year story.

“My parents said you’d gone to visit them a before you left.” Jack took a sip from the beer bottle.

I felt rather uncomfortable remembering the look on Joyce’s face as Lisa hurled words like whore and slut at me. “Yes, I did. I visited a few times before I wasn’t able to anymore.”

“They miss you,” Jack said.

“No they don’t,” I stated. “If you could’ve seen their faces when Lisa was there,” I laughed dryly. “I’d never felt so revolting.”

“They still miss you,” Jack reaffirmed. “They asked your family about you, but never got any answers.”

“I asked them not to tell anyone where I was. I was afraid of being found; especially by Lisa,” I explained.

“Lisa’s just kind of bitter,” Jack shrugged. “Don’t blame her, that’s all it is. She’s changed.”

“How so?” I asked.

“She’s not the same happy go lucky girl we all met. She’s actually kind of a bitch now,” Jack answered. “She’s always on Alex’s case and constantly calling; it’s a mess.”

“Wait, they’re still together?” I asked, shocked. “I thought they were over, at least that was what all the conspiracy was all over the web.”

“Yeah, they’re still together. They’re on again, off again,” Jack chuckled, eyeing me with a smirk. “You keep up with the web stuff?”

I blushed at the fact that I’d given myself away. “Well I mean, I came across a few things,” I shrugged.

Jack laughed. “Don’t tell me you joined the Hustler Club.”

I busied myself with the chipping nail polish on my fingers as I took another gulp of wine.

“Oh my god, you did. I can’t believe it!” Jack laughed. “You hated that fan club and now you’re a part of it?”

“Don’t judge me!” I laughed along. “I couldn’t help it. They really do have a great website.”

“Right, it has absolutely nothing to do with the band itself,” Jack cracked. “You’re something else Abs.”

I grinned at him, happy that we were actually having a good time instead of fighting. We talked a bit more and caught up on how all the guys were and how his family was doing.

Joyce and Bassam were still living in the same house and had the same jobs, but May had moved back in with them. She was in the middle of a divorce, unfortunately. His older brother, Joe, was getting married next fall to a girl he’d met in Texas, his new home.

Alex, as stated had gotten back with Lisa about two weeks after I’d run away, and as Jack had said, they were relatively on and off again. I was somehow always the reason for their fights. I had done this or that and Lisa would accuse Alex constantly of cheating. It sounded terrible and only heightened my guilt.

Rian and Kara had broken up and he’d started dating Cassadee Pope. I was fairly surprised, because I should’ve read about that somewhere on the Hustler Club. Kara never mentioned once that they were having any kind of trouble back when she actually used to talk to me. I wondered if it was a sudden move or just the loss of communication. It bothered me to think that they’d failed at a relationship. If anyone could make it, it was Rian and Kara, so I thought.

Zack was still single, still on the hunt for the perfect girl. He’d moved to California, much to the dismay of his band mates and family, but obviously remained in communication with them. I was surprised that he was the closest band member to me. Go figure.

“How’s your family?” Jack asked, getting comfortable on the couch and leaning back on the arm rest to face me. He wasn’t as tense as he’d been at the beginning of the conversation.

“They’re good. Aimee got married finally. They had a nice wedding on the beach back home about six months ago. Adam has a girlfriend, been dating this girl named Elle for the past six months, too. He brought her to the wedding, and my parents just about had a heart attack.”

“Why?” Jack asked amused.

“Elle is a bit different. She’s got tattoo sleeves, piercings galore, and her hair is bright pink. She matches her lipstick to her hair and wears the thickest eyeliner on the planet. But Adam is just in awe of her; if you could see the way he looks at her. He just worships the ground she walks on,” I described.

Jack chuckled. “Adam always was the rebellious type. I’m surprised your parents let him.”

I nodded. “Yes, well he’s eighteen and living with her so there isn’t much they can do about it, which is good because Elle’s good for him. I can tell. She’s a really sweet when you get to know her, and she doesn’t take advantage of the fact that she has him wrapped around her finger.”

“Well that’s great then. Good for Adam,” Jack congratulated.

There was a lull in the conversation and I was just dying to ask Jack about his girlfriend. I opened my mouth to speak but shut it each time, unsure of how I’d ask. Jack watched intently, giving me the time to think and process.

“S-so you said you were seeing someone?” I shifted in my seat.

“Well, not really. I mean, I’m talking to someone, but we’re just kind of getting to know each other. I don’t know if we’ll move on to the next level or anything. We just text here and there,” Jack explained.

“Oh, well that’s nice,” I commented, not bothering to ask her name or what she was like. It obviously wasn’t a long term commitment.

“This was really great, Abby. Thanks for letting me come over,” Jack said as he stood up. “But I should really get going.”

I nodded, standing up myself and picking up the empty bottle of beer and my empty wine glass. “Yeah of course. And thank you; I enjoyed your company.”

I walked to the kitchenette and placed the glass in the sink, tossing the beer bottle in the trash can. Jack showed himself to the door by the time I got there and we were kind of awkwardly starting at each other.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I mumbled as I went in for a hug.

Jack’s arms wrapped around me like second nature and I leaned my cheek on his chest. The cologne he was wearing brought back so many memories. I took a deep breath, and pulled away. Jack half smiled and waved as he walked down the hall to the elevator. I waved as he stepped in and turned to face me while the doors closed.

Something inside my heart tugged and my stomach turned slightly as I shut the door and locked it behind me. I walked over to the window and looked at the stars. I smiled to myself when I finally recognized the feeling I’d had. It was bliss. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed Jack.

I whispered a thank you to whoever was up there watching over us. Maybe, just maybe, this all would be okay.