The Way We Talk

Jack was sitting on the couch in the pent house everyone shared, watching his own face on Holly’s World. He had every intention of going out with the band, but things changed when he got out of Abby’s car. He couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss. He’d felt the familiar sensation of butterflies in his stomach when he’d first kissed her so many years ago. So he’d declined the invitation to follow the group out onto the streets of Santa Monica, instead content with the idea of relaxing at home and thinking about his life choices.

Holly had texted him and reminded him to watch the season premiere of her show. She was excited that he’d be appearing. He complied happily, but then he remembered that he’d still failed to tell Abby that he was dating Holly. And, after tonight, everyone else would know. Abby would end up hearing about it from someone else, never a good thing.

Jack knew the day was coming, he’d felt it in his bones, and to be honest, he was sort of dreading it. But when his phone went off with a shrill ring at ten in the evening, he was certainly not expecting to see the name the text belonged to. He frowned when he saw Abby’s name flash on the screen, minutes after his introduction on National TV. He opened the message and read it quickly.

Re: YOU’RE DATING HOLLY MADISON???

Okay, don’t panic. Now she knew, a little earlier than expected, but now she knew. Jack debated texting her back. He wasn’t quite sure what to say to her, how to explain that, yes, he was dating Hugh Hefner’s former girlfriend. He typed out a message, backspaced, typed another one, only to backspace and delete it again. After many attempts, he finally just locked his screen and thought it better to wait and figure out what to say.

Before he could devise a plan for the inevitable encounter with Abby, a call came through from another blonde. Holly’s photo popped up on his screen as he slid his finger across to unlock it.

“Hey honey,” he answered automatically. He frowned to himself, when did ‘Holly’ become ‘honey’? An easy mistake, obviously, since they both began and ended with the same letters.

“Hi!” Holly replied delighted. She was always happy and bubbly. “Did you watch the preview?”

“Yeah, yeah I did. It was weird to see myself on a popular show,” Jack chuckled. “It was… interesting.”

“You see yourself on MTV all the time,” she pointed out with laughter.

“Yea, but that’s different,” Jack stated, chuckling along with her.

“Well, you looked adorable,” Holly said. “You made me fall in love with you all over again.”

Love; that was a big word to use, Jack thought. “Glad I could make your heart melt.”

“You always do,” Holly sighed. “Well I’m getting ready to go to sleep. I’ve got a tough schedule tomorrow.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Hey before you leave, are you going to visit?” Jack asked as he shifted onto his side.

“Oh I wish I could, but my schedules too full. I was hoping that you’d come over here while you’re in LA.” Jack could already see her pouting. He smiled slightly; she was beautiful and sweet, and he couldn’t say no.

“Okay, I think I can swing that. I’ll call you if I can go. Sleep well, Holls,” Jack spoke into the receiver.

“You too, Jackalope, night,” Holly replied and hung up.

Jack stared at the screen of his iPhone. The background was a picture of him and the band on stage that Evan had taken. He’d wanted to change it to a picture of Holly and him, but he hadn’t just in case Abby had asked to see it. But, now that she knew, there was no reason to avoid it. He flipped through his gallery, choosing the photo of the two of them on vacation to Disney Land earlier this year. They were grinning, Holly actually smiling because of him. Jack had his shades on and an arm around Holly, holding her head against his. She was laughing, trying to get away from his grasp. He’d kissed her for the first time right after that photo was taken. But, the butterflies hadn’t really come then.

He looked through a few more photos, various shots taken on vacation or on tour, but then he came to one that was recently taken, one of Abby. Jack wondered who’d taken it. It could’ve been Alex seeing as he usually sat next to her anyway. He studied to photo as best he could.

Abby was sitting at the control booth, listening to the demo of one of their songs. Her eyes were closed, her lashes barely brushing the apples of her cheeks. Blonde waves hung loosely from the bun she’d attempted to secure with a string. She looked so much like the girl he fell in love with and suddenly, the last two years without her were filled with regret.

Jack had always said that life was too short to live with regret, but if someone asked him, he had an entire list of things he wishes never happened. He wished he’d never cheated on Abigail, wished he’d paid more attention to his relationship, wished he’d forgiven her the second he found out about her own affair, wished he’d tried harder to find her after she ran; the list was endless. But at the same time, he’d grown a lot in the past two years and so had she.

If that was the case, maybe he hadn’t really missed out on much. Maybe they were just too different now to even survive a relationship. Besides, he had Holly; Abby had Jason, or whatever his name is. She seemed happy. Jack wondered if Abby ever had moments like these where she reminisced about their relationship, or if she ever missed him. The possibility that he never really crossed her mind upset him, slightly.

He exited the gallery and opened Abby’s message again, tapping the reply button. He kept his response simple, but hoped that it would suffice.

Yeah, I am. We’ve been dating for the past few months. She’s absolutely perfect.

Jack hit send and stared at his reply. He wasn’t sure if he was telling the truth, or just trying to convince himself.

I waited for Jack’s reply text, hoping that he’d deny it saying Holly had paid him to appear, but instead I got confirmation. He was dating her, had been for the past few months, and she was ‘absolutely perfect’.

I felt a lot of things, but annoyance was the main thing. Why had he failed to mention that he was sleeping with the former Girl Next Door? It was ridiculous. I dialed Jack’s number and waited for him to answer.

“Yes?” Jack sighed.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that’s who you were seeing?” I demanded.

“It wasn’t necessary,” he answered.

“Not necessary? Are you serious? We kissed Jack, while you are sleeping with Holly Madison. THE HOLLY MADISON.”

“She’s just a person, Abby” Jack stated. “She’s just like you and me.”

“No she’s not! She’s Holly. Madison,” I emphasized, “the star of Peepshow who strips down to a thong. And she’s your girlfriend which is ridiculous because she’s like, I don’t know, she’s just so… out of your league.”

“She’s out of my league? Are you telling me that I could or should never get a girl like Holly?”

I froze on my end of the line, realizing I was offending him. “No, no it’s not that, it’s just that; I mean she’s a lot older than you and it’s weird.”

“No it’s not weird! You’ve said it yourself: age is just a number. You’re telling me I shouldn’t date her. Why?” Now he was the one demanding.

“Because it’s weird! And she strips in front of an audience every night! You’re okay with that?

“It doesn’t bother me. It’s her job and that’s it,” Jack answered.

“Oh my god, it doesn’t bother you?” I asked flabbergasted. “Ho- how does she even know you exist?”

“You know, I’m kind of famous too,” Jack answered, the hurt evident in his voice. “I’m not a nobody.”

“I didn’t say you were,” I said, backtracking. “Your celebrity and her celebrity are on two totally different levels. That’s all I mean.”

“Yeah, sure, that’s all you mean. You know, you don’t have to be such a judgmental prude. She strips, it doesn’t bother me. Get over it,” Jack told me before hanging up.

Great, any progress we’d made was down the drain.