Unintended

~ Matt ~

When I came to, you were standing over me. Your hazel eyes searching my own for some form of recognition, seeing if I knew what had happened. In the background I could hear your brother, he was urging you to hurry, to go with him. He was ranting about what had happened, asking you why, why you wanted to be with me still.

I rubbed my jaw line as I sat up, the world was spinning and I swore for a moment I saw stars. I felt your hand steady my back and I knew in that moment you wouldn’t leave me, no matter what I did to you, no matter how angry I made you, you would always be there for me.

"You still love him, even after what he did to me, to you? That’s just sick Gerard, how could you?" I could hear his footsteps getting closer but I wasn’t bothered, I just sat there waiting.

"You wouldn’t understand Mikey, he means more to me then I could tell you. I love him, it doesn’t matter what he did to me." You pulled my face up to look at you, I could see the concern and frustration in your eyes. Did I feel guilty? Perhaps, there was a feeling deep inside of myself where I knew that I had hurt you and I knew that it affected you to no ends, yes, perhaps I did feel a small fragment of guilt.

I pulled myself into a sitting position with your help. The world spun for a moment and I saw a hint of a smile on Michaels face, a smile at my discomfort. You didn’t seem to notice, staring intently at me as though you were trying to read my thoughts. I pushed you away gently as I forced myself to a stand and walked towards your brother.

"You take some sick pleasure in becoming peoples demons Bellamy. I know it. I saw it that night you came for me, all suave, pretending you wanted to talk. I should have called the police, I should have made a statement but I didn’t. I didn’t want to upset Gerard, I didn’t think he would believe me. Imagine my shock when he made it painfully clear that he knew, that you had told him." He took a step closer, I could feel his anguish and pain with each step closer to me, it radiated off him like a nectar from the gods.

"I wanted you to experience something Michael, I wanted you to know how it felt to have another man between your thighs. I wanted you to see things the way Gerard does. Didn’t it make you feel something Michael? Didn’t it make you want more? That’s what it is, isn’t it, you came back here because you wanted more? Well I have to say I am flattered Mikey, but I love Gerard. There is no chance for us but perhaps I can find you someone else." I stepped away from him thinking, ignoring his protests at his feelings for me. I felt your hand find my shoulder and I stopped mid thought and looked into your hazel eyes.

"I don’t think that’s what he wants Matt, please just end all this, tell him to go and leave us alone. I just want it to be you and me again."

~ Gerard ~

I hated how this was all turning out, I hated that Mikey couldn’t understand the feelings I had for Matt and that he wasn’t willing to let me trust my own instincts. I allowed my eyes to switch from Matt to Mikey and back again, both of them seemed to be watching each other carefully. I could see that Matt had something in mind, he had a plan to get Mikey to leave but I knew that it was more then likely to be vicious and spiteful.

Mikey stood with a smug look on his face, I suppose that he had some sort of fulfillment seeing as he had gotten his own back on his 'rapist'. I was angry with Matt for what he had done with Mikey, but not in the sense that I was disgusted or repulsed, no nothing like that. I was jealous, what was it that Mikey had that had seemed so appealing to Matt at the time? Why was Mikey somehow better then I was? I knew it was ridiculous but the thoughts kept running and I kept indulging them.

"Shut up Gerard, I didn’t ask you, I was speaking to your brother. Now Michael, I hate to see you suffering from loneliness all because your brother has me, what is it I can do for you?"

~ Matt ~

"You don’t intend to speak with anyone about what you did to me, do you?" I looked into your brothers eyes as he asked me his question. I could see all the emotions swimming around inside of him. All his pain, anguish disgust, everything that I had caused to build up inside of him.

"No, don’t think that’s necessary at all Michael, that’s not my problem anymore." His face contorted to something grotesque and I felt ripples of pleasure flow through my body.

"Not your problem huh Matthew? I see." He said as he paced in a small space, "So you would have no concerns if I chose to seek advice? Counseling perhaps? I'm sure that they wouldn’t advise me to go to the police, I mean after all, what's a little rape between friends? Or better yet, the newspapers. I am sure that they would appreciate your reasoning, how hard is it to identify that you wanted me to experience what my brother does night after night. Do you think they would understand that?" He took a step closer to you and I could feel the concern in your body as he stalked around you like a caged lion.

"Do you really think that anyone would believe you Michael? There were no witnesses, it's your word against mine and I assure you I have the best damn lawyers in the country, if not the world. You would be laughed at." I had to admit, he had me a little worried, the sweat was beginning to trickle down my spine, I wasn't so sure I could trick my way out of this one. "Who are you to the world anyway? Just some poor little faggot boy who loves his brother just a little too much perhaps? My lawyer would fry your ass back to that hole you crawled from Michael. You just don’t have enough evidence against me. Just try it, I dare you."

~ Gerard ~

I knew that Mikey wasn’t bluffing, in all my life he had never said anythi9ng he didn’t mean. I watched as the two of them, my brother and my boyfriend stared at each other, hoping that someone would break the silence. I decided that it had to be me.

"Please Mikey, I'm sure we can sort something out, please don’t do this to me! Why can't you just be happy for me?" Mikey didn’t look away from Matt, I hadn’t thought he would but I had been willing to give it a try.

"I was fully prepared to let you go Gerard, don’t you remember? I left here, I didn’t want to have another thing to do with either one of you, I was disgusted in you. It's not my fault that I'm here Gerard, you can blame that on your lover. If he hadn’t come to my home, if he hadn’t abused me, I would never have come back to his house, this cesspool of a place. I want my pound of flesh from him and I don’t care how I get it, for what he did to me, and what I will do to him… I won't rest until I am satisfied."

"What is it you want from me Michael? A confession? Repentance? Love perhaps? You think you can barge in here like a bull at a gate and make your demands thinking that I will bow down before you? Sometimes you just don’t get everything that your brother does." I held my breath, nothing good would come of this, I was certain. Matt was pushing hard against Mikeys resistance as though he was begging him to crack. Matt rubbed subconsciously at his jaw where Mikey had hit him and I knew deep within my bones that there was nothing about this that was good.

~ Matt ~

My jaw was throbbing a little and it made me think of things that at that moment I just shouldn’t have been thinking of.

"I want Gerard to leave here and come home with me, I want to know that he will be safe and that he is somewhere that you can't hurt him, but I know that neither of you will allow that to happen, so I guess there aren’t that many options left, are there?

"Did you know Matthew, that I have enough evidence on you to at the very least get your face in the papers with a big headline that says 'Rapist'? Eliza and I have become quite good friends and she told me all about the relationship between the two of you. Do you remember that day she followed you Gerard? Think back to what she saw, the two of you sprawled over the staircase in a particularly precarious position… She said to me that she has pictures, that he two of you were so wrapped up in what you were doing that you didn’t notice a few little clicks on her phone. With just those alone I could destroy your career, just one little call and I could make your life hell."

"Enough Michael. Tell me what you want, lets get this over with." I looked back at you, your eyes were glazed and I knew that you were admitting defeat. I had been so stupid, the two people who wanted to make our lived difficult, both of them were connected to you somehow. Inside I couldn’t help but blame you for all these new problems, it seemed just when we were working on old things new ones would arise and it was all your fault.

"$25 000. I want it in forty-eight hours or I go to the press and the police. Don’t tell me that it will take you time to get that money, I know damn well how rich you are Matthew, you can't run from me or this. Gerard is the one to deliver it to my house, all of it in small bills, tens, twenties and fifties. Are we clear?" I didn’t have the voice to speak so I just nodded. He was blackmailing me and there was nothing I could do about it except go to my bank and make that withdrawal.

~ Gerard ~

"What do you mean we'll pay him? You know this wont be the last payment that he will get out of you. We could leave Matt, go to the lake, no one will find us there Matt please! Don’t do this! There has to be a better way!" I watched as he walked around the room gathering his things and getting ready. This was all just a big mistake, I knew Mikey, I knew that he was angry and that one small sum of cash just wouldn’t be enough for him, he would keep going until there was nothing left and then he would go to the press.

"Let him ask for the money Gerard. I have it so I will just keep paying him, after all, this is all my fault, isn’t it?" He said bitterly as he pulled on a clean shirt and looked in the mirror. "You know Gerard, it seems the ones that want desperately to have us apart are the ones connected to you. Eliza, your ex-girlfriend and fiancé, she had her own selfish reasons for wanting you back in her life, fame and fortune but she never went as far as to blackmail me. Your brother however has made this more then a little personal, are you sure that he doesn’t love you more then a brother should?" My mouth opened and closed like a fish. There had never been anything more then a healthy brotherly relationship between Mikey and I, he was my brother, period. His whole life, Mikey had been straight, this wasn’t about him wanting me, this was about revenge.

"No Matt, there has never been anything incestuous between us. He cares about me, I guess that was enough for him to blackmail you until I leave you."

"So you plan n leaving me Gerard? All your talk of love and need, of us being together forever, it was all bullshit wasn’t it? I bet you were waiting for me to pay up weren’t you, and then you were going to leave me, for your own brother?" He stalked towards me but I didn’t move. Was he crazy? I loved him, not anyone else, I could never leave him.

"Do I look like I'm going anywhere? How could I have known that you would fuck my brother for some kind of thrill? Like I could plan something like that. Don’t be ridiculous Matt, I love you and only you, I'm not going anywhere." He took my face in his hands and I saw something flick behind those baby blues. He didn’t give me a chance to think about it, instead his lips pried mine apart and forced his tongue in. There was nothing sweet about that kiss but regardless it left me breathless and wanting more from him. He looked at me hollowly once more before he walked out of the house to get the ransom for my brother.

~ Matt ~

I climbed into my car and sighed. This was more of a hassle then it was worth but I had to do this, I had to appease your brother or both our lives would be destroyed.

It annoyed me to no end that you just couldn’t see, it wasn’t just my reputation that he had on the line, it was yours too. If your brother went to the newspapers then it wouldn’t be just my face on the front page but yours as well. So here I was, driving down the highway to the city to get the money from the bank. I had to think of a way to keep this all secret. As it was the bank would question my motives for taking such a large amount of money from my account.

I didn’t regret doing what I did to Michael, not at all. I got the feeling that it broadened his horizons but it wasn’t just that, it made you a better man. You wanted nothing more then to please me, fulfill my every wish, all of my desires. That had been my plan, I had wanted to make you jealous but in the end of it all I guess it backfired.

"Ah! Mister Bellamy, we had no idea you were on your way in! Please come this way, allow me to see to your affairs personally." I followed the short balding man to his office where he pulled out a seat for me and closed the door.

"How may we help you today?" The man asked as he sat across from me.

"I need to make a cash withdrawal of a reasonable sum." I said as I placed the empty briefcase onto the table. I watched as the man wiped his brow with a handkerchief before placing it back in his pocket.

"I see. How much was it that you need to take out?" he asked with that same smile plastered on his chubby face. I placed a smile on my face, one to match his own and I spoke.

"$25 000 American."