Bite Your Lip and Fake It

I watched her as she helped set up the merch tent. Her dyed dark blue hair was pulled up into a pony tail. My eyes trailed down her beautiful figure. She was wearing a pair of shorts that stopped at her knees and a black tank top.

I wanted to go over there and kiss her so bad.

“Ben!” I turned to see Cameron one of the guitarist from my band, Asking Alexandria, running towards me. I nodded my head towards him, pulling a pack of smokes out of my pocket. I stuck a cigarette between my lips lighting it up. “Wha’ are yeh doin’ over ‘ere?” He asked

I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and blew out a puff of smoke. “Smokin’.” I mumbled. I offered him one but he shook his head. I shrugged my shoulder and I put the package back into my pocket.

“The guys an’ I are goin’ to a pub, before the show.” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Yeh, want to come?”

I shook my head, blowing out more smoke, “Nah, ‘m good.”

He shrugged, “O’reight. See yeh in a few hours.”

I nodded, “Don’t get too drunk,” I shouted at him as he ran over to the guys. “I need yeh slightly coherent yeh, fuckers!” I heard him laugh and I smiled.

I rolled my eyes and looked back over to the merch tent. She was smiling and giggling, her arms were wrapped around, him. His arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her too him. He was speaking too her, and she her smile dropped slightly. She spoke, back and then kissed him.

My eyes hardened and I narrowed them at him. I hated it when I saw them kiss. I was never able to do that to her. Well in front of anyone, we were a secret, because she was with him. I shook my head, looking down, finishing the last of the cigarette and tossed it on the ground, putting it out with the heel of my shoe.

I looked up to see him, pecking her lips, and watching him walk over to Danny, James, and Cameron. The smiled greeting him as they walked away.

I brushed the bangs out of my face, sighing out loudly. I looked up to see her alone, folding a t-shirt. After a few minutes she looked over at me and smiled. She waved and I nodded my head towards her. She motioned me over to her and I sighed running a hand threw my hair, before walking towards her.

“Hey, stranger.” She smiled, standing there with one of her hands on her hip the other placed in her pocket.

“Hey,” I looked her over my closely then I had earlier. Her shorts hugged her hips, and the tank top was tight, and showed some of her cleavage. My eyes lingered there for a few seconds before I looked back up to hers.

She smiled crossing her arms over her chest tilting her head to the side, “Yeh didn’t go with the boys?”

I shook my head, slipping my hands in my pockets. “Didn’t feel like drinkin’.” I mumbled.

She smiled stepping closer to me, “What did yeh feel like doin?”

I looked around us, to see if anyone was around us. I smiled when I didn’t see anyone and I bent down connecting our lips. She kissed me back, I groaned as she brushed her lips against mine lightly. I put my hand on her check trying to deepen the kiss. But she pulled away before it could.

“Someone might see us.” She whispered looking around. I grabbed her hand, smiling and dragging her towards the small dressing room they had given us for the show. I pulled her into the room, closing the door quickly, locking it and pushing her up against the wall. She giggled wrapping her arms around my neck, as I kissed her, pulling her hips against mine. She began to run her fingers threw my hair and I groaned and I bit her lip earning a moan.

“The couch.” She said against my lips. I nodded, not pulling away from hers. We made our way over to the small couch in the room, removing out shirts, socks and shoes. She pulled away from me, stepping back slightly, undoing the button of her shorts. I smiled and eagerly began to undo my belt and unbutton my skinny jeans, she was out of hers before I was. She rolled her eyes and giggled. “I will never understand why yeh lot wear these damn thin’s!” She grabbed a hold of them and my boxers pulling them down.

I smirked and stepped out of them, kicking them away. She smirked back running her finger along my chest, downward. I bit my cheek, to hold in a moan. I pushed her down onto the couch and got on top of her. “Yer wear a bit much, love.” I said huskily, moving my lips against the side of her neck. She whimpered and I moved my hands unhooking her bra, I trailed my lips down kissing her chest. I tossed her bra across the room, kissing her breasts.

She moaned grabbing some of my hair and pulling it. I growled and moved down lower slipping off her small underwear. “Mmm! Ben!” She moaned as I licked and bit the skin around her belly button. I pulled away looking up at her smirking. She pulled me back up to her and kissed me. The kisses grew rougher and it got hotter.

“Yeh, got a condom?” She mumbled, as I kissed her shoulder. I nodded and she reached over to my pants, reaching into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. She grabbing one of the condoms I had hidden in there and ripped open the package, putting it on.

I pressed my lips against her and I pushed myself inside her. She moaned running her hands along my sides. The room soon filled with our moans and shouts. My breathing became uneven and I thrusted harder. The feeling of her sent my heart soaring and made me go crazy. I pulled us closer together.

“Damn it, Alex.” I moaned as I came. She let out a small scream dragging her nails along my back. Her hot breath on my neck as I collapsed on her, she groaned and I chuckled slightly pulling out of her and lying next to her, pulling her into my chest. We lay there, cuddling and I smiled slightly.

I sighed as she traced the tattoos on my chest slowly. I looked over to my pants and reached for the package of cigarette. I took one up a lite it up.

“Really, Ben?” Alex said annoyed. I looked at her, confused.

“Wha’?” I asked.

She sat up, covering herself with her arms. “I don’t like it when yeh smoke, an’ yeh know it.”

I pulled the thing from my lips. “S’ just a fag, Alex.”

She glared and got up from the couch she tried to walk over to her thrown clothing, I grabbed her thin wrist. She looked over her shoulder at me still mad. I sat up putting the cigarette between my lips before standing up. I pulled her close. “Wha’s wrong love?” I asked.

“I don’t like smokin’.” She said angrily.

“Why?”

She gave me a look that said ‘are you stupid?’ “It KILLS yeh!” She said stressing the word kills and taking out the cigarette from my mouth and putting it out.

I rolled my eyes. “So does drinkin’.” She glared and pushed herself out of my arms. She walked around grabbing her stuff. I felt myself getting angry. “I can’t smoke, but fuckin’ Sam can go kill ‘is fuckin’ liver?” She looked at me, her expression changed from annoyed to plan angry. “S’ fuckin’ bullshit!”

“FUCK YOU!” She shouted, before she started to pull on her underwear and put back on her bra.

“Yeh already did!” I snapped back.

An Annoying ringing began to go off and Alex dug threw her pocket, pulling out her phone. “Lo?” She said answering it. “Yes, this is ‘er.” She pulled her tank top back on still listening to the other person talk. I walked back over to the couch and grabbing my boxers and pants, pulling them on. “W-w-what?” her voice had changed to shock. I grabbed my shirt looking at her. “How long?” I raised an eyebrow pulling my t-shirt over my head. “Uumm….T-thank you.” She said, before hanging up. She dialed a number on her phone and started to bite her lip.

“Sam,” She said, after a few moments. “Ow quick can yeh get back?” She asked, running a hand threw her hair. “10minutes?” She looked at the clock on the wall. “O’reight, I’ll meet yeh out front.”

When she hung up with Sam she began to sob, I made my way over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She buried her face in her hands, crying harder. “Love, what’s wrong?” I whispered, in her ear.

“E’s goin’ to leave, meh.” She sobbed.

“Who?” I asked

“Sam, e’s goin’ to leave meh.”

I shushed her, petting her hair. “Why would ‘e do tha’?”

She cried even harder. “I cheated on ‘im with yeh!” She pushed away from me. I looked at her with wide eyes. “We can’t do this no more. S’not right.” She mumbled, trying to wipe away her tears.

She was breaking up with me. I felt my heart crumble and my anger build. She was choosing him. “Should ‘ave thought ‘bout tha’ before yeh went an’ slept with meh then!” I snapped.

Her eyes watered more and she turned away running from the room. I turned around and shouted destroying the room. I was beyond angry. I LOVED her and she was choosing him over me. She was cheating on him with ME! I had to have meant something to her if she had chosen me from all the other guys. I punched the wall cursing, and shouting some more. It was so unfair. Why he could have her. Show her to the world. Make her his whenever he wanted. I leaned against the wall, biting back the tears.

I looked around to see the damage I had caused, the room was a wreck. I sighed and slide down the wall, sitting on the ground and pulling out a smoke. I lite up and just sat there. I didn’t move, I just sat until I need another, cigarette.

Two hours later, I heard a small sniffle. I sighed and looked in the package to see I had 2 cigarettes left; the pack had been brand new. I grabbed one of them and light it up. I inhaled deeply, holding the smoke in my mouth. I saw Sam walk in, Alex is tow behind him. I let the smoke out of my mouth slowly, my jaw tightening.

“I’m don’t ‘ate yeh, Ben.” He said, after a few minutes. I looked up at him confused. “For sleeping with ‘er.” My mouth dropped slightly. “I’m mad as fuck at the both of yeh. But I don’t ‘ate either of yeh.”

I sighed and shook my head. “I’d be flipping shits, if I were yeh.” I mumbled. He chuckled and looked around the room. I shot him a look. “Why don’t yeh ‘ate us?”

“I’m too happy to ‘ate yeh.” He said, smiling slightly.

I raised an eyebrow. He smiled and I saw Alex squeeze his arm slightly, that she was clinging too. “Lex, is pregnant.”

My eyes widened popping out. Everything around me froze. I looked at him, trying to see I was, hearing him wrong. Her? Alex? PREGNANT!?! I looked at her but she was starring down at her feet. She was going to have a baby?

“And she’s agreed to marry me, so we can raise, it.” He looked down at her.

That gave me back my voice. “WHAT?!” I shouted jumping from the floor. “Yeh gettin’ married?” Sam nodded and wrapped his arms around her. “Neither of yeh, thought it would be my business to know that my kid, was goin’ to be raised by someone other than meh?!” I growled.

“Yer kid?” Sam asked, “It’s not yers Ben! It’s mine!”

“She slept with meh too! The kid COULD be mine.” I shouted.

“It’s my kid, Ben!” Sam shouted, letting go of Alex. She quickly grabbed his hand holding onto it tightly.

“Maybe!” I said angrily getting in his face. “It could be MINE!”

“It’s mine, fuckin’-”

“Sam,” Alex said softly, tugging on his shirt. He backed up slightly and looked at her, his expression softening. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead, “I’m sorry, love.” He mumbled.

She smiled weakly then looked at me. I watched her cling to Sam’s shirt. I felt my insides ache, that should be me she is clinging too. Not him. “Ben, it’s Sam’s.” She said and I could feel my whole world falling apart.

“Yeh don’t know that Alex,” I started; the baby was mine it had to be!

She shook her head. “S’ Sam’s.” She spoke softly. “I’m too far along for it to be yers.”
I stood there, the feeling in my body draining away.

“Ben, I’m sorry things went like they did.” She whispered. Sam came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her to his chest. She held his hands. They taunted me. “I care for yeh. Yeh one of meh best friends.” Stab. “But I love Sam, an’ now this child.” She looked down at her stomach before looking up at me. “I know that its took soon but I want to be friends again. The way things used to be.”

My throat went dry and I could feel my eyes sting with tears. I licked my lips. “I don’t want to be yer mate.” I spoke lowly, keeping in the tears. I walked passed them, “I don’t want to ‘ave anything to do with yeh.” I walked out of the dressing room.

She was the only women I had loved in a long time. And like the ones before she broke my heart. Like I was nothing.

Love is an unfair game. Some words of advice…don’t play it.