Silver Lake

Grey clouds hovered over the sky, giving the day a glum appearance. It was the last day of John’s vacation at Silver Lake, as summer vacation was coming to a close and Monday would bring him his freshman year at Arizona State University. Although he was excited to head back home to the Grand Canyon State, his stomach turned as his green orbs looked out of the window of his parents’ lake house.

She was sitting on a log near the shore, the water running up and covering her toes every now and then. Her long, dark brown hair was blowing in the wind, and had the sun been out, light streaks of caramel-brown would have been visible. Her tanned skin was a sign of long, sunny summer days. The white tee shirt she wore also blew in the wind, and as John squinted, he recognized that the shirt was his. He closed his eyes, sighing.

Although his throat was dry, he licked his lips and opened the front door, the fresh smell of air, sand and the lake water hit his nostrils immediately. As his feet hit the sand, he silently cursed himself for wearing sneakers and not sandals, as the grains would surely be stuck inside of his shoes for weeks.

Inhaling a deep breath of air, he took the last step towards the girl, staring at her back. He had rehearsed countless lines in his head, in an attempt to prepare himself for this moment. But as he stood there, none of them seemed sufficient. Then again, he wasn’t sure if there were really any right words for this situation.

“John,” she said with a smile in her voice before turning around and looking at him.

And although he tried so hard not look into her eyes, he couldn’t help himself. Truth be told, it was those same beautiful, blue-grey eyes that had intrigued him when they first met. He found it hard to look away then, and two weeks later, it was still a struggle for him.

“Hey, Prue,” he said, struggling to hold a smile on his face.

She patted the vacant spot next to her. “Sit,” she told him.

Without saying a word, he did. He dug his shoes into the sand, and stared out at the water where they had spent hours playing in for the last two weeks. God, he hated himself for having to do this, but it was only fair to her; he had been fooling her for long enough. He just wished he was able to prolong this conversation.

“Is something wrong, JohnO?” she asked, her voice soft and sweet as always.

And for once, John hated the sound of her voice. It was only going to make this whole thing much harder for him.

Without looking at her, he answered, “I’m leaving today.”

She nodded her head. “I am, too.”

At that, he locked eyes with her. “You live in New York.”

“And you live in Arizona,” she stated.

“So …” he paused, not sure where to direct his sentence, “this, us, is over, right?”

Her pale blue eyes widened as she gawked at him. “What? W – what do you mean, John? We can do the long distance relationship thing … I mean, people do it all the time,” she pleaded.

This broke John’s heart. But, he couldn’t lie to her any longer. She didn’t deserve it.

“Prue, I can’t do that. That’s … that’s not gonna work for me,” he told her, choosing his words carefully.

Hurt became evident on her face, and he watched as her eyes glossed over. “So what are you saying, John?”

He turned away from her. “I’m saying this – whatever this is – is over, Prue,” he sighed.

She didn’t say anything, and silence filled the air around them. John peered at her out of the corner of his eye, and he wished that she would say something – anything – because her silence was killing him. He had expected some sort of reaction from her. Not this.

“But … You – you told me you loved me, John,” she said, heartbreak sounding in her voice.

He sighed and covered his face with his hands. He knew those words were bound to come back and bite him in the ass sooner or later. “I lied to you, Prudence, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

A faint gasp escaped her lips and John watched as two single tears escaped each of her eyes. “Why – why would you lie to me?”

He bit down on his bottom lip, a lie itching to make its way out of his mouth, but he decided against it. “Because I wanted you.” She opened her mouth to speak, and he shook his head. “I wanted you,” he said again, his eyes trailing up and down her body this time.

She crossed her arms over her chest, tears descending her cheeks more frequently now. “You’re an asshole.”

John wanted to laugh, even if it was completely inappropriate for the conversation they were having. Of all the words she could have spat at him, she chose asshole.

“I didn’t expect this, Prue. I really didn’t.”

“Don’t lie to me, John. Please,” she cried.

“I’m not lying to you, Prudence.” He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at it slightly. “God, I didn’t want to hurt you. I just … I thought that the more I said ‘I love you’, the more I’d be able to believe it.” She remained quiet, staring at him. He reached his hand out, touching her warm, tear-stained cheek. “You’re beautiful, Prue.”

She scoffed and slapped his hand away. “Don’t feed me bullshit.”

He gave her a sad smile and shook his head. “You are beautiful, Prue … You just – you don’t mean anything to me. Not in that way.”

She wiped her cheeks, and John could tell she was struggling not to completely break down in front of him. “My sister tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen … I just wouldn’t listen.” She looked at him. “I gave you my virginity, John. Did you know that?”

And if the situation wasn’t worse enough, hearing that just made it ten times harder.

“I didn’t know,” he said earnestly, his heart dropping.

“Well I did. But none of that matters. You got what you wanted, right? Was I a good fuck?” she asked in a condescending tone.

“Prue,” he began before being cut off.

“Don’t call me Prue, John. You don’t have that right anymore. I hope I gave you a few good stories to tell your friends back in Arizona,” she seethed.

“Prudence,” he tried once more.

“No, John. Don’t.” She began walking away but stopped shortly after, turning back around. “Thanks for at least pretending,” she told him before stalking off again.

As thunder roared in the sky, John sighed and watched her walk away. He hadn’t meant to hurt her so much, but he couldn’t take back the past two weeks now. It was too late. After watching her disappear into her house, he began trekking his way back to his own.

Silver Lake would never really be just a “family vacation” for him again. For him, it would forever hold Prudence’s memory and the heartache he had caused her.

And even though what he had done was wrong, he had at least told her the truth. And for the sake of his sanity, John convinced himself that that was good enough.