So I Run
σnє.
The door clicked closed quietly behind Jessalyn as she stepped out into the cool summer night. She took a deep breath of the air into her lungs, feeling them expanding gratefully. It was such a nice change from the humid and stuffy air inside the house that she had just left for the final time. She didn’t plan on going back; she had known this all through the planning and packing which had been dominating her life over the past few weeks.
She carried her small, colourful rucksack over to the garage and hoisted it onto her back as she opened it up. The door clanged a little louder than she had anticipated when it opened fully, and she froze, the hair on the back of her neck standing up as she strained to hear any movement from the house behind her. Thankfully, there was nothing, but she still stood completely still for more than a minute before she stepped into the dusty atmosphere of the garage. She flicked a switch and the dusty air took on a yellow glow as the bulb fixed to the ceiling spluttered into life, and as the light cast itself across the junk in the garage a smile came to Jessa’s face.
The turquoise scooter seemed to be waiting for her, propped up on its stand facing the door as though it knew Jessa was going to be coming through the door at any moment. The smile stayed on Jessa’s face as she approached it, reaching out a hand and softly stroking one of the handlebars.
"Hello, Bessy," she said, giggling softly. "It’s time to do what I’ve been talking to you about for years. We’re going on an adventure, just me and you."
She unhooked her helmet from where it rested, hanging from the other handlebar, and fastened it securely over her blonde hair. Her heart was fluttering with excitement as she tightened the straps on her rucksack and climbed onto the scooter, flicking the stand up with her foot. Jessa sat there for a minute, relishing the excitement and the badness of it all, and then, taking a deep breath, she steadied herself and turned the key in the ignition.
With a short splutter the scooter roared into life, and Jessalyn couldn’t help but laugh out loud as the sound filled the small garage and she felt the scooter vibrating beneath her. She pulled one foot up beside her as she moved the scooter into gear, and then, with a kick with her other foot for momentum, she shot out of the garage, not bothering to stop and close it, down the drive, and screeched onto the road, still laughing to herself.
She stopped then, looking back up at the house where she could see lights turning on in the bedroom belonging to her mother and stepfather.
"Hey!" she shouted, her voice loud with defiance now. "Thanks! You’ve shown me exactly what I don’t want in my life. I’ll see you round!"
As the window began to open, Jessa looked back in front of her and kicked off again, flying down the road with a sense of elation that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. The road flashed past beneath her, the wind whipped through stray strands of hair from her loose ponytail, and she felt free.
She was leaving it all behind, and she couldn’t be happier. She was leaving behind the terrible atmosphere of her home, the unhappy marriage her mother was blinded to and yet still stuck in. She was leaving her stepfather’s harsh words and her mother’s ignorance, the school she hated so much and the friends that weren’t even true friends. She was leaving behind this small, suburban life with so much pointlessness wrapped up into it and she was following her dreams. She was hitting the open road, as dangerous and treacherous as she knew it would be. Jessa was running away, and she didn’t plan to stop running until she found home. America was her playground now, she would try and find work whenever she could and make sure her savings lasted as long as possible, but wealth wasn’t what she was after at all. No, Jessalyn’s American Dream lay not with wealth, not with success, but rather with enlightenment and the ability to understand that her life was what she decided to make of it.
Jessa had known for a while that she had two choices. The first choice was that she stayed in her mother and stepfather’s home, constantly being reminded of the things she did wrong and being forced to attend the high school that was slowly destroying her soul. She would leave school and get a dead-end job, maybe get herself into debt in a state college, and marry someone she had probably known all her life, who was accustomed to the exact same standards. They would have children who they would enter into the same schools that they had attended, raise them with the same expectations and morals, and watch as the same fate befell their grandchildren. Of course, through it all, they would convince themselves that they were happy, and that this was all they ever wanted.
Her second choice was to run. That was the choice, pure and simple. Take whatever she absolutely needed and nothing more – in her case, identification, her camera, some clothes and some money, and of course Bessy – and hit the road. Even if things didn’t work out, at least she would have a story to tell. At least she didn’t have to lie awake at night knowing that she had never even tried. She would rather try and fail, than not bother and never know.
The road was opening up now, into one of the perfectly straight roads that left the suburbs of her town and stretched out in all directions, two sides to the coast and one to the south. She took the south route – she had always wanted to go south, where the weather was warm and the life was more relaxed than up in the cold northern cities. So south was where she headed, and she had never felt so alive and she sped forwards, each second taking her further and further away from the life she had grown to hate.
Jessalyn could barely believe that she was doing what she was doing. It had all seemed so far away as recently as this morning, when she had woken up knowing that tonight was going to be the night. She had skipped school that day, merely pretending to go as she headed out of the front door. In reality she had spent the day walking around her neighbourhood, seeing the park she had played in as a child, the bridge where she would sit to escape the shouting in her house, the shops she would visit after school to get food so she could eat out and not have to put up with terse dinnertime conversation in the dining room. She took it all in; the sights, the people, the atmosphere, and in her head she gave it a private send-off, her own secret goodbye. It had been liberating in itself, but not half as liberating as this was.
The moon was out and the stars glittered and the beam from the light on the front of her scooter showed nothing but endless possibilities. Jessa felt like she should be more nervous, much more frightened than she was, but right now all she could feel was excitement. She decided to roll with it, and with a loud laugh of delight, she changed up a gear and pressed on into the night.
She carried her small, colourful rucksack over to the garage and hoisted it onto her back as she opened it up. The door clanged a little louder than she had anticipated when it opened fully, and she froze, the hair on the back of her neck standing up as she strained to hear any movement from the house behind her. Thankfully, there was nothing, but she still stood completely still for more than a minute before she stepped into the dusty atmosphere of the garage. She flicked a switch and the dusty air took on a yellow glow as the bulb fixed to the ceiling spluttered into life, and as the light cast itself across the junk in the garage a smile came to Jessa’s face.
The turquoise scooter seemed to be waiting for her, propped up on its stand facing the door as though it knew Jessa was going to be coming through the door at any moment. The smile stayed on Jessa’s face as she approached it, reaching out a hand and softly stroking one of the handlebars.
"Hello, Bessy," she said, giggling softly. "It’s time to do what I’ve been talking to you about for years. We’re going on an adventure, just me and you."
She unhooked her helmet from where it rested, hanging from the other handlebar, and fastened it securely over her blonde hair. Her heart was fluttering with excitement as she tightened the straps on her rucksack and climbed onto the scooter, flicking the stand up with her foot. Jessa sat there for a minute, relishing the excitement and the badness of it all, and then, taking a deep breath, she steadied herself and turned the key in the ignition.
With a short splutter the scooter roared into life, and Jessalyn couldn’t help but laugh out loud as the sound filled the small garage and she felt the scooter vibrating beneath her. She pulled one foot up beside her as she moved the scooter into gear, and then, with a kick with her other foot for momentum, she shot out of the garage, not bothering to stop and close it, down the drive, and screeched onto the road, still laughing to herself.
She stopped then, looking back up at the house where she could see lights turning on in the bedroom belonging to her mother and stepfather.
"Hey!" she shouted, her voice loud with defiance now. "Thanks! You’ve shown me exactly what I don’t want in my life. I’ll see you round!"
As the window began to open, Jessa looked back in front of her and kicked off again, flying down the road with a sense of elation that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. The road flashed past beneath her, the wind whipped through stray strands of hair from her loose ponytail, and she felt free.
She was leaving it all behind, and she couldn’t be happier. She was leaving behind the terrible atmosphere of her home, the unhappy marriage her mother was blinded to and yet still stuck in. She was leaving her stepfather’s harsh words and her mother’s ignorance, the school she hated so much and the friends that weren’t even true friends. She was leaving behind this small, suburban life with so much pointlessness wrapped up into it and she was following her dreams. She was hitting the open road, as dangerous and treacherous as she knew it would be. Jessa was running away, and she didn’t plan to stop running until she found home. America was her playground now, she would try and find work whenever she could and make sure her savings lasted as long as possible, but wealth wasn’t what she was after at all. No, Jessalyn’s American Dream lay not with wealth, not with success, but rather with enlightenment and the ability to understand that her life was what she decided to make of it.
Jessa had known for a while that she had two choices. The first choice was that she stayed in her mother and stepfather’s home, constantly being reminded of the things she did wrong and being forced to attend the high school that was slowly destroying her soul. She would leave school and get a dead-end job, maybe get herself into debt in a state college, and marry someone she had probably known all her life, who was accustomed to the exact same standards. They would have children who they would enter into the same schools that they had attended, raise them with the same expectations and morals, and watch as the same fate befell their grandchildren. Of course, through it all, they would convince themselves that they were happy, and that this was all they ever wanted.
Her second choice was to run. That was the choice, pure and simple. Take whatever she absolutely needed and nothing more – in her case, identification, her camera, some clothes and some money, and of course Bessy – and hit the road. Even if things didn’t work out, at least she would have a story to tell. At least she didn’t have to lie awake at night knowing that she had never even tried. She would rather try and fail, than not bother and never know.
The road was opening up now, into one of the perfectly straight roads that left the suburbs of her town and stretched out in all directions, two sides to the coast and one to the south. She took the south route – she had always wanted to go south, where the weather was warm and the life was more relaxed than up in the cold northern cities. So south was where she headed, and she had never felt so alive and she sped forwards, each second taking her further and further away from the life she had grown to hate.
Jessalyn could barely believe that she was doing what she was doing. It had all seemed so far away as recently as this morning, when she had woken up knowing that tonight was going to be the night. She had skipped school that day, merely pretending to go as she headed out of the front door. In reality she had spent the day walking around her neighbourhood, seeing the park she had played in as a child, the bridge where she would sit to escape the shouting in her house, the shops she would visit after school to get food so she could eat out and not have to put up with terse dinnertime conversation in the dining room. She took it all in; the sights, the people, the atmosphere, and in her head she gave it a private send-off, her own secret goodbye. It had been liberating in itself, but not half as liberating as this was.
The moon was out and the stars glittered and the beam from the light on the front of her scooter showed nothing but endless possibilities. Jessa felt like she should be more nervous, much more frightened than she was, but right now all she could feel was excitement. She decided to roll with it, and with a loud laugh of delight, she changed up a gear and pressed on into the night.