Whatever It Takes

Arianna rolled onto her side, laughing hysterically at Jordan’s impersonation of McLovin. They had gone up to her room and were lying on her bed watching Superbad while eating caramel popcorn and ice cream. She sat back up and tried to calm her laughter, as she shot Jordan a bright smile.

Some might think this setting was a little too personal for a guy she knew had feelings about her. Yet the minute Jordan had walked through the door, he had turned right back into her best friend. They always watched movies like this; they were always able to intimate but never cross the line.

Her eyes fell onto his, sending a shiver down her spine as she felt herself get lost in them for a moment. He pushed a piece of hair out of her face, and sat himself up straighter. “Can I ask you a question?” he said as he pulled his hand back to his side.

“For sure” she replied, as she sat up and crossed her legs while facing him. “What happened between us? I mean I thought we had a great date…and then you jet off to Chicago and never answer my text…I just don’t understand…I thought you felt the same way as I did…” he said as he glanced down at his hands.

Arianna shook her head, not sure what to say. She hadn’t told anyone about Patrick or the fact that she was on friendly terms with any of the Blackhawks. It wasn’t something she wanted to advertise to the world. “I know. I owe you an explanation for all that…” she said slowly, as her heart broke seeing him so down.

“It’s just…” he began, as he scratched his neck looking for the right words. “Every time you come back from Chicago, you’re sadder than when you left. I’m not dumb…I know there must be someone or something there,” he finished as he glanced back up at her.

Arianna took a deep breathe in, unsure of what or how much she should say. “It’s kind of complicated…” she began, as she looked away from him. “It just comes down to the fact that I realized I lost myself in wishful thinking. I had started something with someone way before you and me ever went on our date. In the end though, he didn’t turn out to be who I thought he was” she tried to explain, hoping that it would be enough for him.

She turned to see him looking at her, his eyes filled with concern. He took on of her hands in his, rubbing the top of her hand with his thumb. “It’s his loss,” he said simply, as he gave her hand a light squeeze.

“No, it’s mine” she said quietly, as she felt the rims of her eyes hold back a flood of tears. “He’s a really great guy. I can’t deny that” she said, as a single tear slide down her cheek. She moved her arm up and brushed it away, “I just wasn’t what he wanted”.

She looked back at Jordan, “I’m sorry though, for how I acted towards you. We went on this perfect date and you were so amazing to me. And I go and treat you like shit…I don’t know why you’re still friends with me” she joked as she tried to wipe away the tears that were silently falling.

He put his hand up against her face and wiped away the excess water from her eyes. “No” he said as he cradled one side of her face in his palm, “it’s his loss. You are the most amazing girl I have ever been lucky enough to know. I’ve had this huge crush on you since the first time I met you, which was while you were dating David” he admitted as his cheeks blushed. “If that guy didn’t see what was right in front of him, then he doesn’t deserve you”.

She felt her heart flutter, as he rubbed his thumb gently over the skin on her cheek. “Maybe I tried to start something with you at the wrong time,” he said huskily, as he moved himself closer to her, “but I can’t ignore right now and the fact that we fit together so well”. She felt her stomach get butterflies as she noticed their faces getting closer, one of his hands on her face while the other holding her hand.

“The least you could do after being so horrible to me is give us another shot,” he told her gently, as their faces were inches apart. “Let me show you how you deserve to be treated” he said in a hushed tone as their noses grazed each other.

She wasn’t sure what was coming over her, but suddenly she felt light headed. Jordan was making her feel all these emotions she thought she could never feel again. He wasn’t Patrick though, that was for damn certain. But no one ever would be, or come close to making her feel as alive as he did. But didn’t see deserve to be happy?

She couldn’t stop the butterflies that were created, or the warm sensation that went through her as he touched his skin upon hers. Without a second thought she leaned in to close the space between them, letting their lips finally meet. She felt her body rush as his hands ran themselves through her hair. Her hands eagerly rapped themselves around his neck.

It caught her off guard how he was able to make her feel, how he had eased the pain in her heart so she barley noticed it was there. Maybe this would be the start of something beautiful indeed.

* * *

Patrick’s eyes fluttered open, his head pounding with the aftermath of a hangover. He sighed and placed his hand against his head, trying to ease the pain. The sheets fell off his body as he sat up slowly trying to steady himself. He glanced over his shoulder and sighed.

Jamie stirred in her spot, as she lay in his bed fast asleep. Her white tank top was pulled over her stomach, revealing her soft tan skin. Patrick felt himself grow sick as he saw how peaceful and beautiful she looked.

After seeing Arianna, his mind had lost any sense of being rational. He thought he was doing good, that he was moving on. Yet seeing her sent him right back to where he was before. What really did him in though was seeing the pain flicker through her eyes when she saw Jamie. That killed him.

He contemplated calling her to explain after she hung up on him. But what could he say? The truth would just crush her, because it would fill her with false hope. Hope that they could make this work and that he wouldn’t hurt her.

He just wanted her to move on with her life. He wanted her to be happy. That meant he had to be selfless and put her needs before his own. But all these thoughts, they were too much for him. They made his head throb and his heart hurt; all he wanted was to forget.

By the time he got to the bar that night, he was ready for some hard alcohol. He kept downing beers and shots, anything that was thrown his way. He could see the way all the guys looked at him, but he ignored their concerned stares. All he wanted was to forget.

He didn’t think twice when Jamie came and slide her body against his. He loved the way her warm breath felt against his neck. His brain stopped thinking as she began to whisper into his ear, giggling after every word.

When his heart drifted his head back to thoughts of Arianna, he felt sick with sadness. He wished it were her there with him at that bar instead of Jamie. His chest was starting to tighten with sadness, so he did the only thing he could to shut up his brain; he kissed Jamie.

He pulled her in and forced his lips against hers, his hands traveling over her body. She eagerly responded to his reaction, missing this attention from him after all these months. She whispered to him that they should go back to his apartment, her body throwing itself onto him. All he could do was manage to nod as he took her head and led her outside.

Patrick reached over and took a sip of water from the cup that lay beside his bed. What the fuck was he doing? He sighed and laid himself back down against the pillow, turning to let his back face Jamie.

This was the only way he knew how to get over Arianna. She’s just a girl, he told himself, she’s not important. He closed his eyes and pulled the covers over his body as he tried to fall back asleep.

But if she wasn’t so important, than why did he still see her face every time he closed his eyes?