Whatever It Takes

Arianna glanced over at the clock beside her bed, rolling her body sideways so she could see properly. 11:37 AM.

She sighed and rubbed her face with her hands, letting her fingers drift to massage her temples. She hadn’t been able to sleep a wink last night, spending majority of the night tossing and turning instead.

After she left the bar she dropped off Marissa and David at their houses and proceeded to drive home until she pulled over suddenly. She wasn’t sure what had caused her to veer off to the side but before she knew it she was sobbing uncontrollably.

Was it supposed to be this hard? Never had she imagined that dating him would lead to this much heartache. Being together was suppose to be easy, was suppose to make her feel good. His comment to her at the end really stung; didn’t he realize how much she cared about him? It terrified her that she had considered the possibility of beginning to fall in love with him and he didn’t even see it.

It took her a while to calm herself down before she was able to drive and head home. Once inside the comfort of her house she went straight to bed and slipped in beneath the cool comforter and sheets.

Wasn’t it amazing how lying in your bed could make you feel like you were protected from the world? Like all your problems almost didn’t exist. She shook her head at those silly thoughts from last night. That didn’t seem to be the case this morning.

She sat up and looked around her at the pictures she had up on the walls. Everything seemed to have been so much easier when she was younger. Looking at herself then made her feel this envy, wishing it could always just stay that simple.

The real problem now was what should she do about Patrick? She almost felt guilty in a way for blowing up at him so much over things he did in the past. He had been right when he said that most people wouldn’t reveal things they weren’t proud of in a new relationship.

It just bothered her so much that he didn’t trust her. But then again she hadn’t trusted him last night either when she didn’t tell him about David. Why had she done that?

She dragged her body out of bed and made her way out of her room, her mind still clouded with so many thoughts. Should she call him or wait for him to call her? What would she even say?

“Mom? Dad?” she called out into the silence as she walked into the kitchen. The stillness and quietness surrounding her signaled that no one was home. A note on top of the counter caught her eye as she read it quickly. Looked like she had the house to herself today.

Usually that would have made her smile. There was always someone around which never gave her a chance to just be and enjoy some alone time. Yet today that seemed like the worst situation ever. All she wanted was to have her mind distracted from the disaster of last night.

Arianna pulled a bowl and spoon out of the cupboard and drawer, setting them down on the table as she sat down in her seat. Silently she poured the cereal inside the hollow bowl and began to eat.

He was leaving this afternoon and for the first time ever she wasn’t sure what she should do. Once he left this afternoon she wouldn’t see him for God knows how long.

He lied and kept striking out every time she put her trust in him. Everything in her told her to just forget him and move on. That was the best option right?

She lifted the spoon up to her soft lips, taking another bite of her cereal. It was almost like a routine movement, no thinking involved as she kept eating. Her brain had more important things to sort through than focusing on eating.

But the minute she thought about not being with him her heart hurt. It felt like her chest had caved in on her and she wanted to vomit. Truth was she couldn’t leave him. As much as she wanted to deny it, it had gotten to the point where there was no going back.

Everything flooded her mind at once, images of him that she kept sealed tightly in her mind. His baby blue eyes, his sly smile.

She dropped her spoon in her bowl, the sound ringing through the quiet of her home. What was she doing? Was she really going to throw it all away because of this one lie? So he had messed up twice before, wasn’t the rule three strikes and you’re out?

She grabbed her bowl and dropped it into the sink. Quickly she glanced at the clock; 12:30. His plane left at 3. There was still time to catch him before his plane left.

Before she could change her mind she began to run up her staircase. All she had to do was change her clothes and rush over to his hotel. Screw how she looked; she just needed to see him and make things right.

She threw her shirt off, rummaging quickly through her closet for something to throw on top. Suddenly the doorbell rang, causing her to curse out loud. Could people have any worse timing?

She grabbed a flimsy sheer tank top and threw it on over her pajama shorts. Hurrying down the stairs she hoped this was worth it. Time was ticking and if she missed him…she couldn’t think like that.

Without glancing at her reflection in the large antique mirror in the hallway she ran towards the door and opened it. Her mouth dropped open as she saw the figure standing before her.

Patrick stood before her in a t-shirt that he clearly just threw on in a rush. His hands were tucked tightly into the front pockets of his jeans, a baseball cap pulled low over his face. A mess of curls peaked out from underneath the cap and dark circles surrounded his eyes.

“Hi,” was all he said gently as he glanced at up at her. They stood like that for a few seconds in silence. Arianna wasn’t sure where she should begin or even what to say or do. He looked like a wreck, as if he hadn’t slept all night.

“Hi,” she whispered back, an invisible weight lifted slightly off her chest as the words left her lips. At the sound of her greeting he took a step forward, the uncertainty in his step evident.

“Ari…I’m so sorry, for everything. For what I said last night at the bar and for ly-” Patrick began but was suddenly cut off.

Arianna walked up to him and grabbed his face in between her hands, crashing her lips onto his. She didn’t need to hear a word he said, all she had to do was look at him to see how he felt. The sorrow and regret was so evidently crushing him. The hunger she felt to be near him was overwhelming.

Patrick was startled at first by her reaction. His hands tenderly found their way to her hips, barley touching them in fear that she’d pull away.

More than ever before all she wanted to do was kiss away any pain he felt. In that moment she knew it didn’t matter whatever their fight had been about. Forgiveness had a weird way of appearing even when you think someone doesn’t deserve it. But forgiving and moving on was what had gotten them this far.

Ever so slowly she drew away slightly, resting the bridge of her nose against the side of his, letting their foreheads graze each other in the process.

“I’m so sorr-” Patrick tried to say before she raised her finger up to his lips to silence him.

“I’m sorry,” she said lightly, as she ran her hand from his mouth to his jaw. “For everything, especially for lying about David,” she added as she pulled away enough to look into his eyes.

“I don’t want us to be that couple…the one who fights and doesn’t trust each other,” she confided in him as her hand dropped down to lay against his chest. “To be honest, I hate how I act…who I’m becoming. I’ve become a liar who tries to ration her actions”.

“You only lied because I did and I hurt you,” he reasoned with her trying to take away the guilt she so evidently felt. “You are the most amazing girl I’ve ever met…don’t ever doubt how incredible you are, please,” he told her as he put his hand against her cheek.

“I just want us to go back and be that couple we were when we first began…and I feel like we’ve gotten to that point now where maybe its too late…maybe that’s not possible for us anymore,” she continued. She dropped their gaze to look down, water barley forming in the corner of her eye.

“Ari, we can go back to that,” Patrick told her as he grabbed her face in his hands and brought it back up to face him. “Please, find it in you to trust me again. And I promise you, things will be even better than you remember”.

He took a step forward; closing whatever space was left between them. One of his hands wrapped themselves around her waist while the other continuously caressed her face. Her heart still raced every time he was near, fluttering and dancing at the feel of his touch.

“And you’re coming to Chicago in a few weeks for your March break,” he told her. “Things will be exactly how they should be. Don’t give up hope because of a bump in the road,” he tried to reason with her as he starred into her eyes.

A slight smile formed on her lips as she leaned her forehead back to rest against his. All she did was nod and lean to give his lips a sweet kiss. She felt his body relax as his arm tightened around her waist, his other hand loosing itself in the midst of her hair.

Before she knew what was happening, she felt herself be lifted off the ground. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his waist, his hands traveling underneath her to hold her up with support.

A giggle escaped her lips as he tugged on her bottom lip with his teeth lightly. She let her hands fall onto his face as she pulled away. Her hair had cascaded down around them, leaving them in a mess of one another.

She glanced down at him and smiled, her thumb gently stroking his cheek as the other hand messed up his hair casually. His laughter rumbled inside his chest, vibrating against her stomach.

“You’re beautiful,” he told her as she leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose. “So are you,” she giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself into him.

All of a sudden she couldn’t wait for March break.