Pull

After church that night, Jax and Bobby left. Being a woman, I wasn't privy to the why's and where's, but I was smart and intuitive enough to pick up on what was going down. I knew full well the Sons were gun runners. I was taught to handle weaponry when I was 16 years old. When most teenagers get their first car, I got my first gun. I knew my way around the world of guns just as well as Ace did, he taught me everything I knew, much to the dismay of Clay. Eventually, Clay had gotten over my knowledge and said that as long as I could keep my mouth shut, he didn't care what I thought I knew. I knew a lot more than he thought, and a hell of a lot more than I let on. I could read lips fairly well and body language almost flawlessly. Some would say it was a bad thing, being raised by a group of people who, by all rights and respects could be considered criminals. I beg to differ.

I gathererd that Jax and Bobby were headed out to Nevada. That caught my attention solely because that was Mayan territory. As much as I was comfortable with my tracks being covered, I still didn't want to be anywhere near Mayans. I sent a silent prayer to whatever god was up there that Jax and Bobby make it safe. It was pretty evident that they were looking for somewhere to store their guns, because from what I understood, there were no buyers, but the guys needed somewhere to safely put their guns until the warehouse was rebuilt. With my logic, I figured that they were probably going out to Devil's Tribe to ask a favor, but the missing link was what trade they would make. Jury was a good man. Ace had visited and stayed at the Tribe clubhouse often, because as much as I never wanted to know, my brother was addicted to porn. Jury had the business, Ace was interested.

Jury had always treated me with the respect he would have given an old lady, even though I wasn't and could never be one. I didn't think I ever wanted to be one. That whole 'taking orders' thing was not my style. I had a mind of my own and I'd be damned if I let some jerk order me around. Even if it was SAMCRO. I loved the guys, but I wasn't old lady material. I gave props to Gemma, though I think she had more control than Clay would like to admit. She wasn't the Queen for nothing. I hoped that whatever Clay had in mind for the Tribe wouldn't upset things too much. I knew they were brother clubs, but sometimes lines were crossed and feelings were hurt. Not that these guys thought in terms of feelings or anything.

I watched as Clay motioned Half-Sack over and filled him in on bits and pieces. Of course, me being the lip reader I am, caught the words 'patch over'. I guess the expression on my face let Clay know that I had guessed the scenario. He stopped midsentance and walked over to me.

"You know too much. I gotta quit letting you roam around here," he said glaring at me.

"Don't worry Clay, I'm not a moron," I replied, shrugging. "I'd cut out my own tongue before I repeated anything I knew," I said in all sincerity. This seemed to please him and he nodded.

"Juice and Tig are staying behind to get the guns transported. We're taking Happy with us, he's meeting us on the way. Sack here gets to see what a patch over party is," Clay said, with his huge grin plastered on his face.

"I bet Tig is just ecstatic that he gets to stay here and miss all the diseas- I mean... lovely ladies," I said.

"Tig will get his prize," Clay responded. I gagged.

I wasn't sure if I was more disgusted that Tig was continuously sleeping with whores, or the fact that I cared. I knew he was kidding when he said his croweater days were over, but I think part of me was hoping maybe it were true. I mentally slapped myself for even letting my brain go down that hallway.

"I don't want to know," I muttered, putting up my hands in defeat.

Tig walked out into the clubhouse glaring a little at Clay.

"I ain't happy about this, man," he said, eyes blazing with anger.

"I don't care," Clay said, as he put on his shades and went out to say goodbye to the Queen.

"Damnit. They're going to be off partying with a bunch of hot, tight little asses, and I get stuck here with that moron," Tig complained. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me, or just talking. "Oh, by the way...You were awfully affectionate last night,"

That was definitely directed toward me.

"No, the whiskey was affectionate last night, I had no control over my actions, whatever they were," I retorted.

"You seemed to have pretty good control when you were in my bed," he purred.

"Nice try, Trager. Jax already assured me that he was the one who took care of me last night and made sure you were not around me. The only man that woke up in my bed was Jack Daniels," I said, smiling sweetly.

In response, he merely muttered something about 'bitch' and left the clubhouse. I almost felt a little bad for him being stuck with Juice. As much as I liked Juice, it didn't change the fact that he was generally a complete dolt. He was useful to the club as a computer genius, and he had a heart of gold, and was made of steel, but that didn't always make up for the lack of brains. He was a good guy though. I think that if I could get this Tig bug out of my system, maybe Juice could be suitable. He walked out of the clubhouse with a strange look on his face. Something between excitement and terror. I realized then that I just didn't look at him that way. I was in deep shit.

_______________________________________________________________

After Clay and the group left Tig and Juice to go about their business, which evidentally had to take place after dark, I sat outside on the picnic table, smoking a cigarette that I had bummed off Lowell. I could see Tig from over here, pouting because he was missing out on some supposedly "amazing" ass. I rolled my eyes and walked toward the garage, hoping that I could find Gemma to hang out with.

"Gemma gave Tara a ride home," Tig said from his stool in the garage.

"Ah, damn," I muttered.

"Need something, doll?" he asked, standing up and approaching me.

"I'm just kinda going crazy sitting around here with no car and nothing to do, ya know," I said, stuffing my hand in my pockets.

"You can always do me, babe," he said suggestively.

"In your dreams, Tig," I said.

"I don't think you want to know what goes on in my dreams, dollface. It would scar you for life if you knew the things you do to me," he said.

"Oh Jesus Christ," I muttered. "Do you ever stop making sick comments?"

"Rarely,"

"Splendid,"

"You love me," he said.

"I tolerate you. There's a big difference," I responded.

"Oh come on, we had a moment. With the picnic basket. You know you felt something. That was real special, Shiloh, admit it," he said. I couldn't tell if he was being serious.

"What are you trying to prove, Trager? That I'm just as fucked as you are? Maybe I am, but if there was a moment or any sort, I'm not ready to address it yet," I said firmly.

He seemed unpreterbed. We stared at each other for what felt like years. It was somewhere in between a challenging stare-down and soul searching voyage. Like we were trying to tear out each others deepest secrets just to figure the other out. I think it would have had an awkward ending had Gemma not arrived and walked up to us, noticing something odd, she just gave me a look and walked in the office.

"You need to stay away from me, Tig," I threatened.

"Yeah, I do," he agreed, and shoved his sunglasses on his face and stalked off to his bike.

I assumed he was going on a ride to clear his head before his dangerous mission after dark. I could go for a little head clearing right about now, as I was even more confused than I had been when I woke up this morning. I knew life was a bitch, but I was hoping that maybe she could quit with the curve balls for a little while. I just killed a man for pete's sake. Apparently she had other things in store, because just when I thought that I could get away for a while, Gemma poked her head out of the office and motioned for me to join her. I slowly made my way to the room, dreading the coversation what was coming next.

"What was that little thing going on between you and Tig?" she asked, crossing her arms and blocking the door.

"A staring contest. He lost," I said.

"I'm serious Shiloh. What's going on?"

"I don't know," I replied, collapsing in the office chair. "It's like.... as soon as I get here, I have a run in with the dude that I've spend most of my life here trying to avoid. I don't even know why I was avoiding him. And then he helped me with the body, no questions asked. No interrogating. He just.... understood, where i'm not even sure I understand. I don't know if I'm just like this cause he was close with Ace. I know if Ace were here, he would kill me,"

"I think you used to avoid Tig because subconciously you knew he was a dangerous guy. He's good, but dangerous. You've grown up since then and become a danger yourself. I'm not saying I agree with the two of you, but I can't stop it if it happens," she said.

"I don't think I want it to happen. I'm not a sweetbutt, and Clay made that rule. Plus I don't like sharing, and there's that whole taboo 'older man, younger girl' thing to take into consideration," I said.

"You think Clay and I's relationship wasn't taboo. The whole 'best friend falling for the other's old lady' thing?" she asked.

"Yeah but you and Clay didn't really get together till John died," I replied.

"That you know of," she said cryptically.

"Oh my- Gemma," I started, but she stopped me.

"This isn't about me. It's about you. You're just coming up with excuses. If all this 'thing' is meant to be is to help you get through Ace's death then so be it, but if it's meant for something more, then you need to be open to it. Tig isn't always the easiest man to deal with. He's rough and cold. He's a killer. He's got his share of problems, but he still has a heart. If this is something that will make you stay, then I will make Clay lift the rule. Ace would be happy to know you were safe and loved," Gemma said.

"I don't think what Tig and I have could ever evolve into.... love," I replied.

"Maybe, maybe not. Don't write anything off," Gemma said. "Now, lets go get some dinner, I'm starving. It's just you and I for the next couple of days, so i'm thinking we get some girl time in," she finished, grabbing her jacket, and my arm, and dragging me to the Cadillac.