Because of What I Am.

Walking down the path, I see my reflection in the water, the reflection of my eyes, filled with the hate that was poured in to them with the abuse from life. I see my hair, tangled and ratted, disgusting, from the streets I've lived on for months on end. I catch a glimpse of my teeth, how? I do no know, for I haven't smiled in years, there's never anything worth smiling for, even if life is going pretty good, it still isn't worth that warmth and comfort, or at least, not for me. 
My eyes flutter open and I sigh aloud. 
Another dream. Another fucking dream of me having no home, no life, no love, no happiness, nothing. 
Stretching over, I gently kiss him on the nose, feeling a warm sensational buzz run throughout my worn and tired body. 
I wonder, if that happens to me, as in my dreams, will he be there? He said he'll love me forever, no matter what. 
I suppose my dreams are scaring me too much. 
I get up and walk to the shower, feeling homely from my dream. 
As the water beats down on my chest, I wash my hair, breathing in the scents of lavender. 
The bathroom door cracks open and I smile, knowing he's going to hop in the shower with me. 
My eyes flutter open again. 
Why am I dreaming about me dreaming and then waking up to him?
I guess I am fucked up. 
Abandoned by everyone I love, left with nothing to make me smile. 
My teeth never show, ever.
And the only reason no one loves me, is because that man I love, would be my gay partner. 
He would be my boyfriend. 
But, he hates my kind with a passion, so I hate myself.
I guess, no one is meant for me, so, I take this rope and tie it up in the barn, making a noose and slide my head in the hole, slowly falling down from the steps I once stood. 
All because I'm gay.