'Safe' Is Not A Word In My Vocabulary

Jacob’s POV

I lay faced down on my bed.

I wasn’t sure what day it was, and I really didn’t care.

My. Life. Was. Over.

I pushed her away.

My only reason for living and I blew it. All because of that one kiss. Of course Bella didn’t kiss back, she was too damn stubborn and now I had nothing. Even though my heart ached for Cent, I still wasn’t sure if Bella was a lost cause, and Centhua didn’t want anything to do with me.

The pack would be pissed if they found out. I didn’t want to tell them, didn’t want to admit to having fucked up like that.

I wasn’t so sure about Seth or Embry, but Quil would kill me, and Paul would take advantage, like some kind of rebound guy. Jared would turn on me after one little direction from Kim, and Leah would help.

Sam would be angry, telling me how stupid I was for ruining myself like this. Going on about how he’d never cheat on Emily…

But I deserved it.

I deserved all of it.

Centhua’s POV

“Centhua María Rodríguez! Wake up!” K-9’s voice invaded my ears as he jumped up and down on my bed like a hyper puppy. I groaned and rolled over under the blanket.

He yanked it off me with a simple tug and I fell onto the floor with a thud. “Oww” I groaned sitting up and glaring at his smug face.

“Was that necessary?” I snapped, crossing my arms over my exposed pink push up bra. K-9 rolled his eyes, which I noticed were tinted with yellow on the edges.

“You said we could go for a run today, it’s almost one and Da-.” He paused for a second. “Er…Bones is waiting for us.” He finished.

I raised an eyebrow and he gave me those puppy dog eyes he knows I can’t resist. I groaned when I melted a little and shooed him away. HE clapped like some kind of happy sycophantic seal. “Out,” I demanded and he snorted. “Why, so you can go back to sleep?” he asked and I sighed. “No.”

“Oh, well then there’s no reason for you not to come along now, if you brush your hair it’ll just get tangled anyways, and your teeth will get bugs in them if you run.” He said matter of factly.

I gave him a sarcastic look. “Yeah well some of us actually close our mouths when we run.” I muttered and he grinned. Poking my exposed ribs above my shorts,

“Sure, now shut up and get naked.” He said seductively. I waked him upside the head. “Play nice or I’ll get Bones in here.” I threatened with fake seriousness. He laughed and ruffled my hair.

“I’m just messin’ but seriously, let’s run.” He grinned and I raced him down the stairs.

XxX

'Slow down Centhua!' K-9 thought while we ran. I barked out a laugh.

'Make me!' My thoughts were smug and Bones/Damien groaned internally.

'Oh great, I go away for like four years, and she gets faster, and an attitude.'

I snickered. 'Yeah, way to miss out on my childhood bro.'

'That’s not childhood, those are the dreaded teen years, and thank the wolves I did miss out on them.'

'I’ll catch you up.' I promised, running over how many guys I’d dated since he left me, not censoring out anything.

Ugh! Eew gross Centhua! That’s sick. K-9 thought sarcastically.

'Stop, please, my virgin eyes can’t take it.' Bones thought, disapproving.

The memories cut of, suddenly and my thoughts were smug again.

'If you can’t take the heat, stay away from the werewolf.' K-9 grumbled mentally, his voice just as smug.

'You two are dis-gus-ting, I’m out,' Bones thought.

'Bye Bro!' I thought giggling in my wolf’s body.

'S’ya man.' K-9 thought happily, wagging his tail.

As soon as he was gone I met K-9 in wolf form in a clearing Emmett had brought me to play baseball in once.

'Eew, what’s that smell?' He thought and I shrugged my furry shoulders.

'Vampire, you get used to it, trust me.'

'Ugh, no thanks, this is so gross.' He wrinkled his black nose and sat on his haunches.

'Too bad, I want to stop by, and since you’re with me you might as well tell them you’re a wolf now.'

'Do I have to?' He whined.

'Yep, don’t worry though, it smells worse as a wolf, and like I said, you’ll get used to it.'

'W/e'

XxX

We ran to the Cullen’s and I remembered I didn’t have a shirt.

You can borrow mine, I want to show off my new abs anyways, K-9 thought. I rolled my eyes but when his teeth caught the shirt tied to his ankle I took it and ran behind some trees.

I walked out and grabbed K-9’s outstretched human hand.

I gave it a squeeze as we walked through the woods.

“No turning back.” He muttered and I smirked. “Don’t worry they won’t bite.” We walked closer to the house and I was sure they could hear us now.

“Much.” I muttered.

He glared at me. "Thanks, for the resurance." and we walked forward.

“Honey, I’m home!” I called sarcastically, once I was in hearing distance. Emmett ran out to greet us and Edward was next. He took a small whiff of the air and looked back and forth between me and K-9.

“What in the…” he started while Emmett grinned. “How is that possible,” he murmured, circling him and sniffing occasionally. K-9 stayed frozen; a tense statue at my side.

I squeezed his hand again.

“So I assume you know everything then?” he asked K-9, crossing his arms over his chest. K-9 rolled his eyes. “You assume correctly.”

Emmett held out a hand for a fist pound. “Sweet, now we have two wolves to mess with!” he grinned.

I found no reason to keep my thoughts guarded, since I was sure K-9 wouldn’t so Edward stared at me.

'Don’t,' I warned 'it’s our little secret.' He pressed his lips together but nodded in what looked like an absentminded manner.

K-9 grinned and I tugged him forward while sniffing at the air. It smelled like chocolate and buttercream. Emmett laughed and Edward smiled. “Esme made cake, so I hope you can stay?” he suggested and I gave K-9 my own puppy dog eyes.

He sighed, took a big gulp of air and we went in to have some cake.

XxX

“I can’t believe you’re eating that.” Bones said disgustedly while I passed around the cake Esme had given us for the guys. I shrugged innocently and walked over to give Ammo a slice.

He had a closed notebook beside him and was staring out at K-9’s furry self with a distant expression. I poked him.

“Want some?” I asked and he nodded reaching automatically.

The rest of the night he sat out there, watching K-9 while I watched him. Eventually he told Bones he was going on a walk and I followed him.

I hopped from tree branch to tree branch silently until he sat on a fallen log. He flipped through the notebook and started sketching. I hopped down silently behind him and waited for a second before snatching it out of his hands.

I jumped back into the tree while he muttered, “Son of a…CENTHUA!” I ignored him and flipped through the pages.

When I was done I dropped down and handed him his book back.

“Nice sketches.” I said appreciatively.

He glared, but his copper skin was flushing.

“Why were you hiding them; you’ve got talent.”

He glared for another second before his face softened. “There just doodles Cent,” he sighed and I smirked.

“Of wolves,” I said bluntly “There doodles of wolves.” He sighed again, seeming oddly aged. “Yes, they are drawings of wolves, what’s your point?” I smiled taking the book and flipping to a page with an image of K-9 in his wolf form.

“My point is that this is unbelievably life like.” I said and he pinched his brows together.

I flipped to the next page. “This one isn’t.” I pointed to another realistic drawing of a pack. This one had two additional wolves, one was grey, with Ammo’s eyes and the other was a deeper shade of brown, with Crusher’s eyes.

He turned red again as he looked at that one.

“Is there something you wanted to tell me?” I asked while he continued to stare. H took in a deep breath before he was able to meet my eyes again.

“I want to be changed too.” He said in a tone that I imagined was appreciative. I nodded to myself. “I figured that part out on my own.” I waved the sketches in front of his face.

“It’s not as great as you think it is.” I said quietly.

“I know, but I think it’s worth it.” He said, referring to the risks. I growled to myself.

“What do you think is worth it Ammo? Is it the hunts? The strength and speed that you can’t control?” I paused for half a second.

“How about the pain Ammo, do you really think that’s worth it? K-9 was changed because he was dying; I’m not putting someone through that who has another choice.”

He stood silent, his body tense while my words stabbed at him.

“We’re human,” he said quietly, when I’d paused for over a minute. “Me and Crusher, we’re human and we’ll die soon enough, if we go around waiting it won’t help anyone.”

For some reason, his words reminded me of when Edward said I couldn’t hang out with him and the guys anymore. They were just spit out and rearranged. Only I was in Edward’s position this time.

I sighed deeply.

When you looked at it like that, there was really no reason for me to say no.

“Just think about it ok? Give it a month or two, if you can lay low for that long, and can handle it, then you want to be changed I’ll do it.”

He smiled, took his sketch book that and whispered “Thank you.”

He didn’t hug me though. He’s not a huggy person either.

XxX

“Ugh! Ammo I can’t do this!” I moaned and he laughed.

We were in my living room, all the furniture pushed to the sides while we drew on some giant canvases.

Crusher was watching, and occasionally laughing while Ammo attempted to teach me how to draw.

Bones was the same, except for the laughing part, and K-9 was off running around like a wild animal.

It was late, but the sooner I went to sleep, the sooner I’d wake up and be forced into that graduation dress Alice got me.

“When are you guys leaving?” I groaned and Crusher laughed. “We are sleeping over so we don’t miss your graduation tomorrow.” He said smugly. I growled and shaded in my wolves. Ammo laughed. “That’s right, get some emotion in there.”

I stuck my tongue at him.

After my drawing was done I fished in my drawer and grabbed some markers. Ammo tried to grab them from me when he saw my intention and I laughed. “Relax, I’ve decided to give up on drawing realistically for now; I’m doing it my way.”

He sighed and dramatically rolled his eyes.

“Yo! I’m back!” K-9 shouted. I winced and he came up behind me. “Hey nice job Cent,” he commented and I shrugged and went back to coloring.

“Amateur,” Ammo muttered, huffing and crossing his arms over his chest. I stuck my tongue at him too.

“Face it man,” K-9 said sitting next to my brother. “She got mad skills.”

Bones nodded and Crusher scoffed.

“Let’s see, Im gone for four years, she gets faster, an attitude and the ability to draw like a certified cartoonist.” Bones half bragged half teased.

“You just lucky she isn’t the tortured soul type artist.” Crusher growled out with an envious laugh. Bones nodded his thoughtful agreement.

“How do you know, when you left you had no clue whether or not I’d get lonely and turn suicidal.” I hinted to Bones and he smirked.

Crusher laughed and pretended to cut himself. “You’re so emo.” Ammo said shaking his head while they bantered.

“Fine, but that means you’re the tortured soul.”

“Ammo’s not a tortured soul; artists are sexy.”

Crusher grunted and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes in defeat.

“So are emo guys.” He grumbled.

“Whatever.” I said, chuckling a little. I turned back to my drawing and I heard some snickers behind me.

I threw some happier emotion into my drawing.

XxX

“Nighty, night!” I called after all the guys had gotten comfortable.

There were a few chorused goodbyes and a grunt from Bones.

I trudged up the stairs, not half as cheery as I’d been a second ago.

Goodbye sweet slumber.

Hello nightmares.