The Taste Of Chocolate

I was more antsy and nervous than I have ever been in my entire life. We pulled into the parking lot area and I jumped out. “Woh, woh, woh.” Julian put his hands on my shoulders. “Calm down.” I took a deep breath and he grabbed my hand. We kept a fast pace making it too the office. “We’re looking for Bryce Reede.” Julian said for me. The lady nodded her head. “Room 107.” He thanked her and we went on our way.
Bryce? Julian and I entered the room where Janie and dad sat. “He’s doing okay, but he has pneumonia.” Dad and Janie both hugged me trying not to cry. Julian shook dad’s hand. “Thank you for driving her here.” Julian nodded.

Pneumonia was bad enough but to it attack a kid was even worse. I gently touched Bryce’s hand. It was rather cold. Bryce. The doctor walked in. “Only one parent can stay overnight everyone else has to leave.” I stood up. “I’ll stay.” Janie said in an almost inaudible voice. “Are you sure honey?” Dad put his hand on her shoulder. “Yes, you have work tomorrow.” Dad kissed Janie on the cheek.
Julian and I stepped out of the room. I couldn’t exactly say thank you and I didn’t have any gestures for the words. “You’re welcome.” He chuckled. He reads minds!? Julian smiled. “Goodnight.” He gave me a peck across the cheek and walked off.

My cheeks flushed red. Did that just happen? Am I going insane? Dad walked out of the room. “Come on Diyah.” I nodded and followed him out.
Once again the drive was long and silent. I could tell by the look on his face he was thinking about what would happen if we lost Bryce. Dad, it will be okay, just stay positive. If only I could say that. If only I had the strength to open my mouth and speak comforting words in this time of need.

Dad turned off the car. “Go ahead and go in first.” I shut the door and looked back. He’s not okay. I sighed, walked up the steps and I unlocked the front door. The TV in the living room was on. The screen said DVD paused. I grabbed the remote and pressed play.

“Diyah look at the video!” Mom said as I spun around on my butt. “Mama!” I threw my arms up charging at her giggling. “Who’s my princess?” She laughed after she kissed my forehead. “Sissy!” Daisy was sitting on the couch getting tickled by dad. “Both of you are my precious princess’s!” She tickled me making me laugh. “I wuv you mama!” I shouted from the top of my lungs. “I love you two sweetheart.”

I stopped the video, took it out and read the date that was beautifully written on it. 2/14/1997.
Mom! I dropped the video on the couch and ran outside. She was here! She had to be! Who else would watch the video? I ran to the end of the sidewalk and looked all around. Mom! I wanted to cry out but I couldn’t. “Diyah get inside.” I didn’t listen I kept spinning in different directions. I waited hoping mom would be there smiling, greeting me with a long deserved hug. “Diyah James! In here now!” I silently listened. Before dad closed the door I had the urge to cry out…..but I just couldn’t.

It just wasn’t fair, why did she have to leave like that? Why did Daisy have to drown?
I went upstairs to my room and pulled out my violin. It was a nice mahogany brown. It’s been 3 years since I’ve played. I ran the tips of my fingers across the smooth wood. I didn’t even have the guts to pick up the bow. I set it back in its velvet case, locked it then put it to the back of my closet.

Meow! Meow! Beast sat by my feet, purring. Hey buddy. I picked him up, scratched his head then sat him back down.
Pulling my pajamas from the floor to my body I closed my curtains. I turned off the light, slipped into bed and patted the blankets for Beast. He nudged his head against the palm of my hand.

Beast fell asleep instantly but I laid there staring at the wall that held the door and my Elvis poster. Mom was here. I smelt her blueberry perfume she always wore. Question was if I ever saw her again would she accept me? Blame me? Lie to me? Walk back into my life? Would she even love me?
Ugh!
I threw my head back now staring at the ceiling. What about Julian? He drove me to the hospital, held my hand, kissed me on the cheek and even knew what I was going to say. Shaking my head I closed my eyes listening to Beast’s snores.

I was a coward, I was hopeless and helpless. I needed someone to save me from myself. I needed someone like Julian.