Sweet Child O' Mine

AMBER’S POV

I heard weeping from the kitchen. Me, being a woman, I had the urge to see who was crying. The crying voices sounded familiar but I couldn’t tell who it was. My heartbeat slowed as I quietly and slowly tip-toed to the kitchen. I peeked around the corner into the kitchen, where I saw a father and daughter crying together. Their arms were around each other and their eyes were squeeze shut as tears streamed both down of their faces. I felt a lump form in my throat and tears in my own eyes as I watched Zacky and Zackie have their moment.

Soon it began too hard to watch them, because I knew what they were crying about. Memories of Casey flooded back to me and a few more tears escaped my eyes. I stepped away from the kitchen, my face in my hand.

“Amber baby, are you okay?” A sweet voice asked as I felt warm arms wrap around me and pulled me close. Without saying a word, I moved my face from my hand to Andy’s chest. I was heaving and crying heavily. I felt a chin rest on the top of my head. “Shhh Amber, everything’s alright. I miss them too.” When Andy said them, he was referring to Jimmy and Casey. It was really reassuring to hear that coming from Andy, through his deep, calm voice. It actually made me feel like everything was going to be alright.

I looked up at him, the tears from my eyes now drying. His deep blue eyes locked with mine, his jet black hair fell at touched my shoulders. I stood up on my tip-toes to get up by his lips to kiss them. He kissed me back and my heart pounded my chest. The spark that we had together was still there. Even through all that has happened…

“Well babe, I got to go. I got a call saying there is an emergency in the band, and I need to go figure out what is wrong,” Andy told me immediately after he pulled away from my lips. I frowned but a smile remained on his face. I didn’t want Andy to leave yet, I wanted him to be here to celebrate Casey’s life. “Stay strong Amber. I love you,” He said to me as he pressed his lips to my forehead. “I love you too,” I mumbled, still bummed out that Andy was leaving so soon.

His lips left my forehead and he smirked at my facial expression. I knew I was acting like a seven-year-old, but I didn’t care. Today was a day for family, and Andy was part of this family!

“Bye babe,” He murmured as he walked away from me and grabbed his black coat from the couch in Johnny’s living room. He didn’t even glance back as he opened the front door, stepped outside, and slammed it shut. When Andy shut the door, it was actually so loud that it made everybody in the living room jump. I just stood in my spot, my lips still tingling from our kiss. My mind kept racing from one topic to another.

Zacky and Hayley stepped out of the kitchen, their eyes red and puffy. They probably heard Andy slam the door and they came to check it out. It was just heartbreaking to see both of them sad; Hayley was so innocent, yet has been lied to her entire life and Zacky deserved his daughter back, but he just couldn’t get her back. They both deserved so much better. And the only man standing in their way of true happiness was Johnny.

“Hayley! There you are! Rose has been looking all over for you! She’s in her room, waiting for you. Go see what she wants,” Johnny told Hayley as soon as he spotted them. Hayley rolled her eyes, but obeyed him and walked down the hallway to Rose’s room.

I was slightly disgusted in Johnny. I bet Rose didn’t even want to see Hayley. Johnny just made an excuse for her to get away from Zacky. Zacky never actually saw Zackie alone without me, Johnny, or Lacey near him. Zack never got the one-on-one father/daughter time he wanted, and quite frankly I don’t think he ever will.

As soon as Hayley disappeared down the hallway, Zacky face just got more painful to look at as he looked even more upset. And Johnny expression made me want to smack him across the face. Johnny shot Zacky a disgusted look, and then he walked over to his wife. I wanted to go over by Zacky to hug him but he just walked back into the kitchen, probably to cry.

I glanced over by the flat screen TV, where Brian was standing, hopefully that maybe his smiling face would cheer me up. But his face was just as grim as mine. Just fucking great. But his face looked also looked calm and confused. And he had a beer in his hand. That could only mean one thing: he’s drunk.

“Hey Syn, I’m gonna go pick up Izzi from her friend’s house. I’ll see you tonight,” I overheard Michelle tell Brian as she kissed him on the lips. He mumbled something drunkenly that I couldn’t hear and then Michelle left.

Izzi is Brian and Michelle’s daughter that they had a few months after Zackie was born. Pretty much after that night, Michelle found out she was pregnant and then in June she had Izzi. Izzi was pretty much the reason Brian’s and Michelle’s relationship worked out, even though Izzi is a real pain in the ass for everybody. Izzi is an immature child with no respect for anyone, but no one could blame her. Michelle tried her damn hardest to keep Izzi under control, but it’s Brian who’s the problem. He is never there for Izzi and that’s why Izzi is messed up child. Izzi drinks, she smokes, and rumor has it she does other drugs. I just hope to God she doesn’t end up like Jimmy.

Brian glanced at me as soon as Michelle stepped out the door, a smirk on his face. Oh and how I did love his smirk. I loved it because I knew why he was smirking. He’s drunk and he wants me. Michelle is gone and Andy is gone…perfect. Brian began to waltz over towards me, his smirk getting bigger. I blushed and looked down, a big smile forming on my face. The only thing I saw was my bleach blond hair hanging down by my eyes and my black sandals.

Soon, Brian was at my side, his arms around my waist. His chin was on my shoulder and I could smell the thick alcohol in his breath. It soon became a sweet sent to me. It meant that we were both going to get lucky.

“Amber…I’ve missed you…” He breathed in to my ear. I let out a small, soft giggle and he did the same. I did miss Brian too. The last time me and Brian had sex was…Hmmm…I couldn’t remember. That’s why I was so happy to be doing all this again.

I didn’t care that there was a whole bunch of other people in the room. I didn’t care that he was married. I didn’t care he had a kid. I didn’t care he was drunk. All I cared about was him.

I felt something ice-cold touch my fingertips and I opened my eyes. I looked down to see an open beer bottle with Brian trying to force it into my hand. I smiled big and I took it. Brian backed off a little so I could take a drink. I happily took the beer and chugged a little bit of the cool liquid down. It felt good down my throat and I could already feel myself relax.

Ah, I’m so glad that I started drinking. At first I was scared because I didn’t want to end up like Casey. I didn’t want to be stuck with an addiction that I couldn’t control. But right after her death, I was so stressed out and sad, I thought that maybe one drink couldn’t hurt. Andy was living with me and he said that I would ever want to start drinking; he would watch me so I wouldn’t get too out of control. I felt like a five-year-old when he said that, but it made me feel somewhat safe. Like I wouldn’t turn into Casey. So that night, a week after Casey’s and Jimmy’s death, I had my first beer. And oh did it feel good to have that cold, sweet liquid run down my throat. The buzz that everybody talks about immediately rose up from my stomach, and I was immediately calm.

After three or four beers, I was really giggly. Apparently, cause I didn’t remember what happened, I had six or seven beers that night and I ended up passed out on our couch. I somewhat remember waking up in the morning and having a major headache and stomachache. Andy told me the next night that once I woke up; I immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. He said that he had to hold my hair back. I was honestly too sick to care.

Brian stepped closer to me after I finished taking my drink. He was facing me and his lips were nearly an inch from mine. His alcohol breath was warm against my face. I was waiting for him to kiss me, but he simply breathed, “We could sneak into one of the rooms.”

A bright smile came upon my face, and I took Brian’s hand. We slowly and quietly made our way to the hallway. No one seemed to be noticing, which surprised me. Brian pulled me into the dark hallway and pressed me into the wall. I laughed and pressed the drunken man off of me. I dragged Brian further down the hallway. We were both about to burst out laughing as we finally got into a bedroom. The bedroom I pulled him in was my old room when I lived here.

I quickly glanced around the room and found that the bedroom was turned into a dark purple and black flower paradise. Everything in the room was either purple or black and there were flower wall decorations. I quickly guessed it was Hayley’s bedroom before I suddenly pushed down onto a bed. I heard the door slam shut and a body was on top of me.

I kind of felt bad for Hayley. Brian and I were about to have sex in her bed. She has to sleep in this same bed tonight. But before I had an ounce of regret, Brian’s lips crashed against mine and well, you know what happens next.

LATER THAT NIGHT

ZACKY’S POV

I walked in this dream-like realm, where everything was white. As far as the eye could see was white. Where the fuck am I? Where is my comfortable bed?

“Zacky…” A soft, distant voice called. The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was almost like a voice I haven’t heard in forever.

I stood confused, trying to figure out where that voice was coming from. I opened my mouth to call out to the voice, but suddenly a black shape appeared in front of me. I stepped back from the figure but it slowly became a little more recognizable.

The figure shape was a small, about up to my chest, and skinny. The figure was wearing a bright white strapless rag-like dress that went down to the top of her knees. She wasn’t wearing any shoes and scars ran up her legs and were found on her arms and her face. She had long bleach blond hair, just like Zackie and Amber. And her eyes were a bright, clear blue color. I immediately recognized who it was, and I felt my heart flutter.

“Casey…” I breathed. A smile formed on her face and I pulled her into a tight hug. I was so relieved and happy to have her back in my arms.

“Casey, I’ve missed you so much. Please, don’t leave me again. I need you,” I told her as tears rolled down my cheeks. I heard her giggle as she pulled away from me. Her eyes shined like the Pacific Ocean at sunset.

“Zacky, I’ve missed you too. I also miss our daughter…” I completely forgot about Zackie. I was too happy that I was actually talking to Casey. I felt like crying harder. I couldn’t believe I was standing in front of Casey knowing that our daughter wasn’t with me. I couldn’t even look at her anymore. Ashamed at myself, I looked down at my feet.

Casey put her fingertips under my chin and lifted my head up so my eyes met hers. She had a smile on her face that was to die for. It hurt me to look at her.

“Zacky, don’t be sad. I know my brother has our daughter, but don’t beat yourself over it. Johnny won’t have Zackie for forever. She’ll be yours again one day, and I know you’ll be an amazing father to her. I know it, trust me. I love you, mi amor por siempre Zacky. Don’t you ever forget that,” Casey said to me softly. I cracked a small smile as she said those three sweet words. “I love you too Casey,” I said to her.

Her smile got bigger but her body seemed to get fainter in color and more transparent. “Goodbye Zacky. Make sure our daughter stays safe.”

“No Casey! Please don’t leave me! Not now! I need you!” I yelled as she was barely visible now. All I saw was her smiling lips before everything faded to black.

***

I woke up with a start from my dream. I looked around to see that I was in my dark bedroom, in my room. The moon shone through the window and it shined down onto my bed covers. I ran my hand through my dark hair and I turned to get out of my bed. I stood up and walked over to my mirror. It was all just a dream.

I stared at my dirty reflection in the mirror. There were dark colored bags under my eyes and my hair was messy. I sighed as I looked down at the corner of the mirror, where a picture of me and Casey was. I pulled the picture out from between the cracks of the mirror and I looked at it.

The picture was taken when Casey and I first started dating, like after about three months. My arms were wrapped around her shoulders while her arms were wrapped around my waist. My lips were pressed against her cheek, while she was smiling brightly for the camera. I forgot who took the picture. This was when we were our happiest together. And the picture didn’t lie, we were both happy.

Another cold tear ran down my face as memories came back to me. I don’t know how many times I’ve cried today, but I could care less. I never really got over the fact that Casey was gone, and it still hurt every day to think about her.

I’ve never loved a woman as much as I loved her. I’ve never felt the way I did when I was with Casey with anybody else. Casey was everything I wasn’t. She was my other half. She was my forever love.

And I’m the reason she’s gone!

Without thinking, I crumbled the picture in my fist and slammed my fist into my dresser where my mirror was. Damn, did it hurt. But the pain in my heart was ten times worse at the moment. I collapsed to the ground, down my bed, and just sat there in my own self anger and pity.