Sweet Child O' Mine

ZACKY’S POV

“Brandy?” I spoke out quietly but she was already halfway back to her car. All I asked about was her kid and she seemed to lose all focus. Her smile disappeared in an instant and I thought she was going to break down. I knew something was wrong but I didn’t want to set her off. I wish I would have asked her. But now I can’t. She’s gone and now I’m alone. Again.

I looked out at the ocean as the giant orange sun finally began to set. Brandy should have been here right now. The dark blue-black tide rolled against the beach. The waves made a calming swishing noise that slowly relaxed my mind. I sat there with my toes digging deeper and deeper into the sand. My mind was wandering from topic to topic until my mind just focus on one topic: Casey. I don’t know why my mind always wanders to her.

I took the phone out of my pocket and flipped it opened. A picture of me and my old big baby Majesty flashed on my screen. Majesty has passed on now. I miss her every day, just like Icky and Casey. Except I don’t cry when I think about my dead dogs, unlike when I think about Casey. I can’t stop the tears when I think about Casey.

Thirteen years have passed…Not a moment has passed that I haven’t thought of you…Why’d you leave me so soon?

I clicked the ‘menu’ button on my phone and arrowed over to ‘photos’. I began flipping through the countless photos of me and the guys over the years until I got to my favorite photo. It was a picture we took when Casey was nine month pregnant with Zackie. Her stomach was so swollen under a Guns N’ Roses t-shirt. Both of her hands were on top of her stomach while my hands lay in the middle. She had the cutest grin on her face as both us looked down at her stomach. That was one of my happiest moments ever. It was the first time I felt Zackie kick.

“Casey, I don’t feel it,” I whined as I continued rubbing her stomach, searching for my baby’s kick.
“That’s what she said,” Casey sarcastically commented as she smirked, “Keep searching.”
I rolled my eyes at her smartass comment and kept rubbing her swollen stomach. I couldn’t wait till the baby gets here. I sure as hell won’t be the greatest dad ever, but I’ll try my fucking hardest to be pretty damn close.
That’s when I felt it. I felt my baby’s foot against the palm of my hand. I gasped as a smile came to my face.
“I felt Zackie. I felt the baby kicked!” I yelled excited. I yelled a little louder than I wanted to. We were in the driveway of our house at like eleven, so it was dark as fuck out here except for the lights that we left on in the house. Casey had wanted to look at stars with me for some fucking reason. I just guessed it was the hormones talking so I went with her, and that’s when she started feeling the baby was kicking.
Casey looked up at me with a giant smile on her face and her blue eyes shining. I looked from her stomach to her face and smiled. “Yes?” I asked her smiling.
“Zackie is going to love you,” She told me sweetly. A chuckled a bit as I pressed my lips against hers. I doubted her a bit for moment; what do I know about parenting? I ask myself that a lot.
But when I’m with Casey, fuck doubt. Like I said before, I might not be the best dad in the world, but I fucking try my hardest to give Zackie the best life she could possibly get.

A tear slid down my cheek as I closed my phone. I only knew her for a year, and yet she was the one thing I couldn’t let go. I haven’t been with anyone since her death while all the guys got married and started families. I hate living the past but this is one thing that won’t quit haunting me. I’m fucking trapped in this fucking nightmare.

And I’m fucking alone.

I stood up, brush the sand off me, and began to walk back to my car as the sun sunk deeper into the sky. The sky was now a dark blue-black as a few stars began to pop out. So much for having a good day.

I opened my car door and sat inside, just staring at the steering wheel. My feet hung outside the door, and I decided to light up. I pulled a carton of cigarettes out of the glove box, took out one, pulled out my lighter from my pocket, and lit up. I took a long drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs, before I breathed out the smoke.

It calmed me for a moment, but not much. I pulled my feet into the inside of the car and put the key into ignition. As the engine kicked in and “Home Sweet Home” by Motley Crue blasted, I began to pull away from the beach.

Time for me to go home and drown my depression in cigarettes and my best friend, Jack Daniels.

TWO WEEKS LATER

AMBER’S POV

I pushed through the crowd of well-dressed people, trying to find someone I knew. Andy’s friend, Ronnie was having an album release party in a giant ballroom. The only thing is that is good about this party is that has the gothic decorations hanging everywhere. Screamo music blasted throughout the ballroom, making it hard to hear. Usually I would be happy to hear this music, but usually I would be having fun with friends. Right now, I’m near tears because I’m so frustrated and alone. Andy, Ronnie, and a bunch of other guys and girls went some fucking where. I have no idea where they went, and I have feeling the girls that went with them were strippers. I’ll probably have to find some random, trustworthy-looking guy to take me home. And we me in a black cocktail dress, black high heel stiletto boots, and caked-on makeup, it won’t be hard to find some guy.

“Hello stranger,” I heard a familiar voice speak from behind me. I turned around to see Brian standing there in a tuxedo and a fruity looking mix drink in his hand. I was in shock for a moment. It has been over a month since I’ve seen Brian. Since Andy has had me committed to him, I haven’t been allowed to see Brian. My mouth curved into a smile immediately as I stepped closer to him. He smiled brightly back at me as he put his arm around my shoulders to hug me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. I heard his heart beat faster and faster as we hugged longer and longer. My heart was doing the same thing.

“Brian, I missed you so much…” I mumbled as I buried my face into his chest. I knew he could hear me thanks to the music and billions of people talking here. He began to rub my back and he pressed his lips to the top of my head. He bent down and he whispered to my ear, “Let’s go outside so we can talk.”

Brian grabbed a hold of my hand and began to push through the crowd of people until we got out the door. We got out into the parking lot and we stood under a streetlight. I could see LA and all the cities lights from here. It was so beautiful, like a bunch of stars all clutter together. We could still hear the booming music and we could feel the bass under our feet but at least it was quieter and private out here.

“What are you doing here?” I finally asked Brian. He took a drink of his fruity mix drink as he dropped my hand. “I knew Andy was coming, and I knew Andy would bring you, so I had to come. Life has been so hard without you Amber,” He finally told me.

I just stared into his dark brown eyes as he continued to talk. “Michelle just has been so busy, and Izzi doesn’t want to talk to me so I’ve been so fucking bored and fucking lonely without you.”

“Aww Brian, I’ve missed you like hell too. Andy has just been treating me like shit ever since I’ve stopped seeing you,” I told him as I stepped closer to him. It was like we were Romeo and Juliet; both forbidden to see each other, yet we fucking love each other that we would kill to be together.

Brian dropped his mix drink out of his hand and let the glass shattered against the ground. I jumped at the sound. The red fruity mix drink spilled all over the pavement and broken shards of glass.

“Brian! Why did you do that?” I freaked. Drinks aren’t freaking cheap in there!

“Amber, I can’t spend another moment without you. Please marry me,” Brian slurred. My heart stopped for a moment. Brian is drunk out of his fucking mind, that much is obvious. He can barely hold himself on his own two legs. The poor bastard probably doesn’t even realize what he just fucking said. A sober Brian would remember he is married already.

“Amber, don’t leave me hanging and alone…please say yes,” Brian whined as he took my hand. I looked into his sad eyes. What do the fuck I say to him?

“Um yes?” I slid the fucking word out. Dumb bitch, how could you? If I could kick my own ass, I fucking would.

Brian wrapped around his arms around my waist and lifted me in the air. I yelped as he spun me around happily. I just held onto dear life by wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into his shoulder.

“Aw baby, don’t be scared, I’ll protect you,” Brian whispered into my ear as he set me down. I moved my face away from his shoulder and looked at his face. He seemed so happy, yet he didn’t know he was making a huge fucking mistake. He kept smiling at me till the point it just became way too uncomfortable. I pushed away from him, and began to run away from him. Tears poured from my eyes as I ran toward the door. Don’t look at him, Amber.

“Amber, wait!” I heard Brian call. I placed a hand on the door and turned around to look at Brian. He looked so upset, like he was near tears. One tear rolled down my cheek as I mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to him before I pushed the doors open and went inside.

I wiped a few tears away from my face as I ran through the crowd. My mind kept repeating the same thing over at over again: You can’t marry Brian! You’re with Andy!

“Amber, what’s wrong?” I heard Andy’s voice as I felt arms suddenly grab me. I opened my eyes as I looked up at Andy’s blue eyes. I hugged Andy tight and cried into his shirt. (He didn’t want to dress up; it’s “not him.”) Andy hesitantly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. He didn’t say a word, he just let me cry. Thank God, cause I didn’t feel like talking at all.

“You wanna go?” Andy finally spoke and I nodded. I pulled away from him and saw a giant wet spot on his chest from where I was crying. I knew that was going to happen, and I knew Andy didn’t care, so I didn’t say anything. Andy put his arm around my shoulders and began to walk me out the door. When we got outside, Brian was gone. One last tear slid down my cheek for him.

I hope Brian would just forget tonight. I wish I could forget tonight.

“Amber,” Andy calmly spoke. I looked up and he smiled weakly, “I love you. Never forget that. I’m sorry I abandon you tonight.”

I smiled weakly at him and I hugged his waist. I remembered why I fell in love him in the first place, all the way back in eighth grade. Andy was the best thing that has ever happened to me. He makes me smile more than anything else, he makes me feel beautiful, and he loves me like no one else.

I love Andy Biersack and no one else.