Keep Your Girl Out of My Shoe Cabinet, Your Wife

To Viviane it felt like time was going by slowly. You would think the 5 minutes you have to wait for a pregnancy test take long? Imagine that feeling going on for days.

To Sidney it felt like time was running like water on the Niagara Falls. It felt like he’s blink once and two hours went by.

She checked the time on her phone every 5 minutes when the day he was to return finally arrived. She hadn’t made her decision yet. Would she pick him up at Consol, play happy could for the team and the cameras, followed by an awkward 25minute silence in the car while the forces rise and the thunderstorm arrives as soon as the front door is closed? Or rather tell him to get a ride with on of the guys or a cab and wait home for him… home ice advantage

Before Sidney knew he had packed his stuff and headed towards the bus. What would happen now? Would she pick him up? Would she be at the house? Was she still in town? Maybe she had flown home. He couldn’t be angry anymore. The other team mates goofed around while their wives and girlfriends just rolled their eyes. Sidney sat in the back of the bus with a double seat all to himself with his iPod plugged in his ears trying to block them all out.

How should they address it? Was it better to maybe make dinner first and slowly step towards the topic or start with it right away? Should she give him the time to explain first? Would her rage allow her to let him speak first? It wasn’t really rage anymore. It had turned into disappointment and that cut deep. Viviane had been so sure that they had moved on, stepped forward from the level they were on when they met again. She had put all her hurt and hatred aside when she realized that she was stuck with him. It felt like the 9 year old wounds were torn open again.

What had LeBron said to her? How did she understand it? What did she know? The question that bothered Sidney the most was how would she react when she found out? He knew it was a mistake and he regret it the second he sat back down on his heels, looking into that too familiar cocky face before jumping up and running to the bathroom. Just the memory hurt him. If for some reason this hadn’t destroyed everything he hoped that had built up throughout the last months, than it had still broken his own heart. Never had he been so disappointed in himself.

Not knowing how to keep her mind of the approaching disaster she called Taylor to confirm her arrival, the airline to double check Taylor’s flight dates, her mom to ask about her grand fathers condition-only to find out that there still was no change- and Max Talbot just to hear the voice of one of her best friends in the states again. Soon after he left they had picked up weekly calls. But still it was running in the back of her mind and she checked the time every few minutes. Suddenly it was 5pm. The bus was said to arrive at 5:15. There was no way to make it to Consol in time.

The bus was close to downtown now and soon they’d be back home. Sidney was scared of what to expect but at the same time happy to see Viviane and the baby again. It was weird but even though he was gone for only 3 days he was scared that he might have missed out on something important. The sound level on the bus was getting a little lower as everyone started to gather their stuff so conversations died down. Sidney still was in the last row all by himself.

She had sent him a text message but still was scared that he didn’t receive it so she sent another one to Vero. Seconds later Vero answered ‘Sure we can do that. What’s wrong sweetie? You okay? Are you not feeling well do we need to get you sth?’ Viviane smiled at Vero. She would make a perfect mother after taking care of the two babies named Max and Marc-André for almost a decade.

Sidney swallowed hard when he opened her text message ‘Sry couldn’t make it. Got stuck on the phone. Get a ride’ It took him a moment when he left the bus and glanced through the crowd of waiting wives, children or nanny’s and another one to the cars that she indeed hadn’t come. He hung his head a little and disappeared into the rink to escape everyone’s eyes.

Dan Bylsma saw Sidney’s head fall in defeat and watched him disappear into the Center quickly. He told his wife and son that he’d be back in a second and followed him inside. He found his young captain in the locker room taking of his shoes and replacing them with skates. He knew better to disturb him and went to his office to change his shoes for skated as well. After watching him taking out his anger on a puck for a couple of minutes, he joined him on ice.

“What’s wrong Sidney?” he asked.

Crosby just took another hard slap shot that threw the net between the goal posts fly back and forth after the puck had been reflected from there to the ice.

“What should be wrong?”

The next slap shot was fired of and perfectly hit the right top shelf.

“I’ve known you for years now Sidney. Seen you in camp before and been your coach since 2009. I know something is up.”

Dan Bylsma leaned his chin onto his stick and waited for Sid to calm town a little more.

“I just don’t know what to do okay? Non of your business.”

“It has affected your mood since the pictures of Viviane and James leaked so it is my business. You totally shut yourself out. You’re the captain you should have led your team this week.”

“If I disappointed you captain-wise take away the C. Give it to Staalsy. It’s not like I’ll get to play in the next year anyways. Who needs a captain who can’t play.”

The puck missed the net by far and hit the glass behind. The noise echoed through the huge arena.

“Cut the crap. I’m not going to take the C from you and you are going to return to ice soon. Don’t dare to stop believing in yourself. Now spill the beans.”

“Yeah we talked about it, I got her side of the things and they are totally legit and innocent. I screwed up, we had a fight and I’m a little scared to get home. Plus her grandfather is in the hospital dying. I talked with her mother this morning and they don’t think he’ll make it to Christmas but no one dares to tell her because they know that the stress and grief could harm the baby. Also would she insist on flying up there immediately and I just can’t do that. I can’t miss out on the team and I can’t be at home without her and the baby. Her doctor doesn’t want her to fly much until birth anyways. I feel like it’s my fault because she didn’t get to the chance to see him since about two weeks before the wedding.”

Dan took in the rambling of his young captain and watched him sinking in a little more with every word he said.

“Sidney. Of course I can’t give you any legit advice. No marriage ever is perfect. You always have ups and downs. There will be days you fly on a cloud and there are days you already have the divorce papers in your drawer and all you still need to do is send them away. It happens. It’s normal. But don’t ever avoid home. You need it. You need to get both of your thoughts out. If you keep it in, it will turn into frustration and soon you won’t talk at all anymore. Believe me I’ve been there. Go home, brace yourself for the first fight, it’s okay when you cry yourself to sleep tonight and tomorrow everything will be different okay? I expect you on ice tomorrow at 11am sharp. You can cut the work out before. I just want the guy back on ice everyone looks up to. Not the guy everyone pities.”

With these words Dan Bylsma left the ice, put on his street shoes again and met his wife and his son by the car. He smiled at his little family, greeted both of them with a kiss and took a seat behind the wheel bringing his two favorite persons home, thankful for having them both.

It was past 6pm now and Sidney wasn’t home yet. Viviane was scared. Vero had send her a text that Sidney was gone out of a sudden and no where to be found. What had happened? In the back of her mind picture were running of Rebecca waiting in some dark corner to catch Sidney and take him to her hotel.

Sidney sat in his locker all by himself. He was the only person in the entire building. It was silent. The sole noise he heard was the low hum of the refrigerator and the drops of the melting ice in the Zamboni drop-off. He knew he had to head home soon… Viviane was furious, Becky was back in town and Sidney walking on really thin ice.

Viviane had given up home at 6:30, grabbed a blanket and made herself at home in front of the TV. She wasn’t watching anything but the darkness of the backyard and the slowly rising moon. Then she heard the key turn in the lock and she froze

After he paid the cab driver, he punched the code into the lock of the gate and waited for the giants doors to open. When he walked up the driveway and saw the cars in front of the house he was relieved. Quickly the front door was unlocked and the shoes taken off. The entire house was dark and it felt empty. He didn’t hear a TV or music. Shock washed through his body. Had something happened? Had she left the house and stayed somewhere else?

”Viviane?” she heard him ask not too loud into the empty house. The soft tone of his voice made her shiver a little and she moved in her position. Her foot got caught in a pillow and it fell down with a ‘thud’.

A faint noise came from the living room. Or was he just imagining that? His feet moved towards the room. No light fell through the door into the hall. Why should she be sitting in the living room in the dark all by herself without any music, tv or other entertainment?

The heavy footsteps came closer and closer. When the one panel of hard wood squeaked she knew he was just 2 steps away from the door. He was almost there and she was scared. All the butterflies she had ever felt in her life had come back all together and were celebrating a giant dance party in her belly. Her stomach ached and she was nervous.

In the little light that fell through the window he could see her laying on the couch, wrapped into a blanket and she looked at him as if she was about to break down.

“So you actually are coming home?” Viviane asked just above a whisper and stared at her fingernails as if they were the most interesting thing she had ever seen.

“Yeah sorry. I just talked a little with Dan. I wasn’t quite ready to come here yet.”

Viviane noticed that he said ‘here’ instead of ‘home’ and it made her a little sad. Did this place not feel like a home to him?

“Well now you are here.” Her tone had changed.

“Yeah… you wanted to talk?” Sidney sat down on the other end of the couch, pulling up his legs and faced her. His palms were a little sweaty and he started to feel sick.

“Right… a) Are you still mad at me because of LeBron? He really just called we met for a coffee and he told me what happened.”

Sidney answered in an unfamiliar low voice “No of course I’m not. I overreacted, caring more about what people thought than about what really happened and what you were telling me. I was wrong.”

“Thank you…” she pulled her breath a little so Sidney soon realized that she wasn’t done yet.

“You’re welcome?” he was insecure.

“How did you know about Rebecca?” she asked after some minutes of silence.

“Do you really want to know?”

“No… but I have to. We are married and I thought we were honest with each others.”

Sidney let out a whole hearted sigh, rubbed his face once with both hands an began.
“Somewhen about a week ago I had a really tough day at the rink, the guys were all pumped about the road trip, I couldn’t go with them and the doctors said I wasn’t ready to go yet. When I came home I let my bad mood out, demanded to know about the baby, you were pissed, didn’t tell me a thing so I left. I was so annoyed. I told you I was going to Duper’s place but that day was their anniversary so he took his wife to some fancy restaurant. Anyways I took a cab drove downtown and ended up in some bar. After some beers I decided to head tome. There only were old creeps that wanted to talk about hockey and you. The two things I just wanted to forget about. So I left walked around a little looking for a cab and then I ran into her. I was a little drunk and Rebecca just stood right in front of me but first I thought I was only imagining her. Though when she asked me to come to her place I knew I wasn’t.”

Sidney was taking a break for a second to gather his thoughts and to find out how to put the next step. Viviane on the other side of the couch felt her heart break a little. Had she really pushed him away that far again?

“So I couldn’t think straight. Booze, anger and ex girlfriends aren’t a good mix. I know that now. Anyways I ended up in her room and I was so close to sleeping with her. Really so close. But then in the neighbor apartment a little baby started to cry so I sat up, realized what mistake I was about to make and came home. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I… I just want the baby to have a family you know.”

Sidney remained silent and looked away while Viviane bit her lower lip so hard that she could taste the bitter taste of blood.

“How close?” she mumbled.

“Excuse me?” he didn’t quite understand her.

“I ASKED HOW FUCKING CLOSE WERE YOU TO SLEEPING WITH THAT BITCH?” Viviane yelled, but not before covering the belly with an extra pillow.

“Shewasreadybutistillwasinmypants.”

“SORRY?”

“SHE WAS READY OKAY? I STILL WAS HALF DRESSED.”

“What do you mean ‘She was ready’? You already took her shirt off and her belt because she never wears bra and panties?”

Sidney hung his head in defeat. He was so ashamed.

“She had cum once at that time.” He whispered.

“So… from just looking at you or did you finger her?”

“Not exactly.”

Viviane’s face fell when she finally understood what he was whispering.

“Are you kidding me? SIDNEY PATRICK CROSBY ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? You ate her out, come home apologize and the next day you play all lovey-dovey and kiss me… with the same mouth you ate her out with? You disgust me. I can’t see you right now. If you hadn’t your own room I’d tell you to sleep in the bathtub tonight. You have no decency, no respect and you are disgusting.”

Viviane stood up, threw the blanket at him and went upstairs.

How could he do that? I thought we were getting somewhere. The last days felt good. Was he doing all that just to cover up so I wouldn’t ask?

Fuck… My life was ruined. My wife was mad, my coach was a little pissed of and my parents would hate me as soon as they found out. Way too go from cloud 9 to hell.

My hands were shaking and I just didn’t hit the right buttons on my phone. It seemed like my phone didn’t want me to call my parents, Trina or my lawyer. Tears stung in my eyes and I felt helpless.

At some point I couldn’t hold the tears in and they were pouring down my cheeks, falling onto my chest and draining my shirt.

I waited for half an hour but I didn’t hear her move or leave the room so I decided to follower her up. After brushing my teeth and changing into PJ’s I stopped at her door. A soft cry and sobbing echoed through the door and I felt horrible. My hand flew to the handle but the door was locked. In defeated I slid down the door and exhaled.

I heard Sidney in front of my door but couldn’t care less. Sleep started taking over my heavy bones and my eyes fluttered close.

I shifted in my positions but nothing seemed comfortable. I stared at the ceiling wide awake