Keep Your Girl Out of My Shoe Cabinet, Your Wife

The rest of that day was pretty awkward. When they returned home Viviane spend the day with packing some ‘Love for Lokomotiv’ bracelets and put the addresses and stamps on the envelops. After the crash many wives and girlfriends had sold the bracelets at the rink but Sidney didn’t feel to well with his little family exposed to the fans. He loved his fans but felt like they still needed some time to get used to the idea of him being a husband and a father. Both him and Viviane never googled themselves or visited certain websites but Pat-his agent-, Taylor and also Marc-André had warned him about some fans and their attitude towards Viviane.

Viviane still felt like she wanted to get involved with the project so she contacted the WAG’s of the Coyotes and got a part of the project. Twice a week she would get a package with bracelets and orders so she could help them to pack and send them. It kept her occupied for some hours a week. In the time Sidney still was injured he’s join her and print out stickers with the address or stick the stamps onto the envelops.

To him it was fascinating where they send them to. Some countries were self explanatory like Belarus, Russia, Slovakia, Canada and the states. Also countries like Germany made sense. All those countries had lost national players. Sometimes rookies sometimes legends. But countries like Australia, Brunei or Italy didn’t fit in the picture for him but made him smile. It was a horrible tragedy but it united the hockey family.

He was devastated when he couldn’t play in the benefit game but still was happy to see his practice worn jersey going on sale for a good price. Evgeni’s charity dinner was a success and he was glad to see his close friend helping his country and growing even stronger over this tragedy. Sidney remembered too well how he was sitting at Evgeni’s place talking on skype with the two Russians trying to figure out what to do ad how to deal with the loss of their friends.

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The weekend was slow. Saturday Sidney couldn’t hit the ice because Consol was used and a youth game was held on South Point, so he mainly worked out at the gym and pushed himself to test the knee and his head. He was glad to return home with good news. The knee didn’t feel sore after putting heavy exercises onto it and also his head felt good again and he was positive he would be good to go for the Detroit game on Tuesday. At home Viviane waited for him with a nice Christmas cake and a warm tea.

It was amazing to come home to a warm home, with a family waiting for you. After he parked the car in the garage-temperature was supposed to drop below zero celcius that night and he didn’t feel like spending time in the cold to get the ice of the car-, he walked up to the house and the front door was wide open with his wife standing on the open frame wearing the white yoga pants from their wedding and a flowy white blouse. The warm light shining at her from the house made her look like an angle and he couldn’t help but to smile, grab her and kiss her passionately as if to test whether she was real or just an illusion.

“Hey” he greeted her once they broke apart.

“Hey daddy… welcome home” she replied and smiled brightly.

Viviane stepped aside and let him enter the house leaving the brain freezing could outside. It was one of those days Viviane felt really good and glowed in happiness. Sometimes Sidney thought she was glowing so much that she had to have a halo around her. She gazed at him looking across the table and smiled.

“Sidney???” she said in her special sugar sweet voice she only used when she really wanted something or something happened… like the time she accidently touched his taped stick when she stumbled over his team mates skate and grabbing onto the stick was the only thing that prevented her from busting her head open on the bench. He ended up scoring 4 goals and getting two assists that night so she was the only person afterwards who was allowed to touch taped sticks.

“What do you want?” he said with a smirk on his face and a chuckle in his voice.

Viviane gave him puppy eyes and asked: “Can we get a hot tub in the basement or something? I would love to take a bath in one these days but the one outside is already closed for winter.”

Sid laughed and answered: “We’ll see. The basement may not be the best idea but I’ll see what I can do. How much to you want it right now?”

His wife smiled and replied. “As much as you wanted the Stanley Cup in Game 7 2009.”

“Oh my…” he sighed and nodded. “Give me 2 hours okay?”

Viviane nodded and made her hair fly around. He laughed and finished the tiny slice of the rich cinnamon chocolate cake he had allowed himself.

Satisfied with the answer she had received, she ate her cake, put the cups and plates into the dishwasher and laid down into the couch after getting angry stairs from Sidney. He hated seeing her buzzing through the house and as much as he had enjoyed the cake he wasn’t happy about the fact that she had spent at least two hours in the kitchen standing.
While she rested on the couch Sidney went upstairs to change his work out attire into something warmer and went outside to start his project.

Quickly he took off the cover from the hot tub in their pool area and let the pump remove ice cold water from the tub. He jumped in and cleaned it before switching on the heater and letting in warm water. While it filled up again he placed the cover over it again so it wouldn’t require too much energy to keep the water at the perfect temperature.

An hour later he checked the height of the water and it was perfectly filled so he added some expensive bathing oil, lit dozens of candles in the pool area and headed inside again. Viviane was fast asleep on the couch so when he entered the room she didn’t react at all. By he side he bent down and kissed her onto the nose softly. She curled it a little and squirmed in her place. After he repeated pecking her all over her face she pulled up her shoulder and opened her eyes a little.

“Wake up sunshine.” He cooed. Viviane smiled and sat up.

“What time is it?” she mumbled when she sat up.

“Like 5” he answered and sat down next to her. She rested her head onto his shoulder and asked:
“Why did you let me sleep so long? It’s all I do during a day is sleep.”

“I don’t mind. As long as you rest and don’t put any pressure onto yourself I’m happy. I don’t want you to go to the hospital. I rather have you at home.” He caressed her back softly.

“What have you done while I slept? You smell like fresh air.” Viviane wondered.

Sidney just smiled and answered: “Put on a bathing suit and meet me on the patio in 10 minutes.”

She just nodded and headed upstairs. While she changed Sidney put on his trunks and grabbed some towels. When Viviane walked down the stairs in a satin robe and flip flops he waited at the foot of the stairs and smirked.

Viviane walked down slowly and took in what she saw. Though she saw him on a daily base it still made her a little speechless to see what her chubby faced dorky friend from her childhood had grown into while they were apart. Every other guy she ever dated looked pale next to him. It wasn’t only the amazing body from the hours he spend on ice and the gym on a daily base but also his flawless skin, the defined cheek bones and the warm brown eyes with the golden sparkle when he smiled. Every time she saw him and he smiled or smirked she felt at home. All she wanted to do was curl up in his arms and stay there. It took her breath away how much he suddenly completed her. How much she had missed him in the last years without realizing it. How much she wanted to spend time with him for make up for all the years the friends had missed together.

“Whatever your plan is don’t make me freeze.” She threatened and wrapped an arm around his back once she stood next to him.

“I’d never… our mothers would lock me up and once I died a painful death of dehydration and starving they’d hide my body under the lighthouse in Peggy’s Cove so no one would ever find me.”

Viviane laughed and nudged him into the side.

“So what up now? I’m pretty much naked and so are you?”

Sidney giggled his childish laughter and guided her outside. Once they arrived by the pool Viviane was speechless. “Oh my god Sidney… you didn’t… this is so pretty…”

The candles had burnt down a little and spread a nice warm light but kept it very low. The hot water stung against the cold air and mist rose in the air above it. The soft smell of the oil hung in the air and was very inviting. Viviane smiled brightly, wrapped her arms around Sidney’s neck and kissed him into his lower lip very softly.

“Thank you so much. You are the best.”

Sidney smiled, dropped the towels and placed both of his hands onto her lower back to pull her closer.

“All for you.” He said in a husky voice and grabbed her lower lip with his front teeth sucking on it lightly. His hands sneaked back to the front, undid the knot of the belt and wandered under the fine fabric around the swollen bump. He let his finger roam over her spine and let one hand rest under the slip knot of her bikini top.

When he pulled back she turned a little red and giggled.

“Let’s get in.” he said, slipping the rope off her shoulders.

Viviane felt like butter in his hands and her knees had turned into pudding.

Following every word he said she dropped the rope and took off her shoes before cautiously testing the water with one foot. The temperature was perfect and once the hot water engulfed her body she felt her muscles relax and the pump that seemed to tug on her spine lately felt weightless.
Sidney slid into the water after her and sat down.

“Come here” he ordered and softly pulled her into his arms setting her down on his lap. She rested the back of her head on his shoulder and felt each heartbeat and each breath he took against her back. Every time he breathed in his torso pushed her upper body up and every time he breathed out her body fell again. Soon their breathing and their heart beat was in synch. They laid there in complete silence, hung up in their own thought, cherishing each others company and the peace of having sometime without a ringing phone, a vibrating Blackberry or a reporter shoving a recorder into their face for their opinion on something.

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“Look a shooting star.” Viviane suddenly said and pointed up to the sky. Sidney’s gaze followed her index finger and caught the falling light.

“Be careful what you wish for…” he whispered and let his left hand move upwards from her belly button up to the top of the bump so it rested right underneath her breasts.

“Someone is a little sassy today.” She laughed and placed her hand onto his, locking their hands and looking onto their identical wedding bands and her prominent engagement ring in awe.

“Not sassy. Just claiming what’s mine.”

He followed her gaze and looked at their hands. Slowly he turned his and squeezed hers before lifting them out of the water and moving them a little. The light of the moon and the candles hit the diamond and made it sparkle.

“It’s still super unreal huh?” he asked and dropped the hands back into the water so they wouldn’t get too cold.

“Yeah. When I boarded the plane from Halifax to London to get to Paris, I never thought I’d see you again. While I still was in North America I was positive that one time I would return to Cole Harbor and you would be sitting on the front porch waiting for the car to pull up like you always did when we were visiting some family members. But when I went to Europe I thought that was it.”

“Why that?”

“You were home that weekend. When we drove to the airport we drove by your house. I asked my dad to do that. I wanted to see it one last time. I mean no one knew when I would come back to Nova Scotia the next time. So we drove by and you were in the drive way with Jake and Marc. You looked up, stared me right in the face but didn’t move. The day before I met your Mom at the super market. She wished me a save flight and all the best for my career. She promised me that she would never let you forget me. Until the last minute I had hoped she would grab you and you would come to the gate. They called me out three times. The flight attendance pretty much had to carry me into the plane because I still hoped you would want to see me. I cried the whole time to London. The business man next to me kept getting me water and chocolate and told me that home sickness would go away after a while. But I wasn’t homesick. You just broke my heart all over again. I was so sad. I wore one of the Shattuck hoodies your mom had gotten my for my birthday with your name and number on the back… she had it printed on there just for me.”

Sidney hugged her as close as somehow possible and leaned down to rest temples against hers.

“I’m sorry. I saw you that day but I was to shy to go there. My parents wanted to bring me there. My mom sent the guys home the second she saw your car pull out of the street and dragged me into the house. I never saw my mom yell at me but that day she did. She told me I was a coward and that after how I behaved when I went away I owed you a proper good bye. I will never forget the look she gave me when I told her I couldn’t go. I’ve never seen her that disappointed in me. Not even after you left and I told her I wouldn’t marry you.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to say goodbye it was more that I didn’t know what to day. I was too scared to face you again. Too scared of the emotions. Too scared of seeing you leave. I can’t really tell you what I felt. It was like I was worthless.
You were leaving to Europe. Seeing the world. It felt like you were going to do all the things we dreamed about as kids but you were doing it without me.
Remember how we sat in your room one Christmas eve with a world map throwing arrows on it and talking about what we would like to see and do in those cities? That night I went to bed and dreamed about being a big star in the NHL and paid those vacation. I dreamed about being older and we’d see the world. Just you and me. We were 12 or 13.
The next morning I ran half an hour longer than I usually did. It started pushing myself even harder than I did before. I wanted to be the best I could be. I knew I still had some years to work on myself before scouts would look at my rookie class. I wanted to be as good as possible so I could make the league right away so I could have a good life and have enough money to fulfill every wish you could possibly have. I didn’t want you to be stuck in Cole Harbor working in a super market or some local store. I wanted to let you live our dreams.
When I finally got the letter from Shattuck that I had gotten through the entry procedure and that they offered me a spot on their roster, I felt like I was a lot closer to my dream of making our dreams come true. I was so happy.
I called you your mom told me you would come home late because you were out with friends. When my mom came home I told her to take me to Halifax because I needed to buy something. I showed her the letter and she was so happy. We took Taylor and drove to Halifax. In my room I had a little box I always put in what was over of my money at the end of the month to help my parents pay my hockey stuff.
I took all the money in that box and bought a promise ring. I wanted to give it to you that night. I wanted to tell you about all those dreams. I wanted to promise you with that ring that once I made the league I would come home and take you to wherever the draft would sent me to. I wanted to promise you I would never make you cry and that I would always make your wished come true. You should get everything you wanted and you should never step back from your own dreams because we wouldn’t have enough money to make both our wishes and the wishes of future kids come true. I wanted to promise you we would have a better life than our parents. That I would marry you once we were old enough.
My mom was so proud and almost cried when I told her. She told me that she had never been prouder of me. I found a pretty ring but didn’t have enough money to buy it. Mom gave me the money I still needed though we didn’t have a lot that month because she couldn’t work a lot since Taylor was really sick. Of course she called your mom as soon as we were home and when you got back she called us so I could come over.
I put the ring into my pocket and walked to your house. I was really nervous but I felt like a man. I felt like I was all grown up and I can tell you I could’ve sworn my heart jumped out of my chest. Your mom opened the door as soon as I was close to your drive way.
When I got into your room you already jumped my neck. Chris had asked you to prom after you guys were in the movies. You hadn’t told me that you were meeting him that day and it felt like someone stabbed me. I just couldn’t make myself give you the ring.
Anyways I told myself I would let you be happy that day and tell you about Shattuck, my dreams and the ring later. My dad and I planned to go to Shattuck a week after that dance so I thought I still have more than enough time to do it. My mom and I packed everything I needed for Shattuck and I made our parents vow silence about Shattuck and the ring. They all did.
The evening before the prom my dad came home and told me that a coworker’s mother had died and the funeral would be the day we wanted to leave so his dad cancelled my dad’s day off and only gave him off the day after the dance.
Instantly I ran to your house because I knew that would be my last chance. You already were asleep and had so much to do the next day. I wanted to catch you before he would pick you up put he already was at your house. I only watched you from afar and you looked so happy. The whole night I waited in front of your house so I wouldn’t miss you when came home. When you finally came home and I told you I would leave you looked excited and sad at the same time.
At that moment it felt like some of my dreams were crashing down. You looked good and happy in Chris arms and all I did was leave you away to get better. I felt so selfish and I didn’t want you to go through the pain of me leaving over and over again so instead of telling you that I wanted forever with you and give you that –for our age- ridiculously expensive ring, I told you I would never want to see you again. I was ashamed of myself. By the time I unlocked the front door I was crying.
My mom thought you had told me no, so she hugged me and spend the night by the side of my bed telling me everything would be okay. I didn’t dare to tell her what I coward I had been so I only told her weeks later in a letter.
Anyways when you left to Europe it felt like I still was a little High School boy with big dreams and you were seeing the world. You didn’t need me. You didn’t need my hard work, my money I might earn one day.
It felt like I had worked so hard, lived through all the summer camps and early mornings and it all was worthless because you were better than me. You just didn’t need me and made all your dreams come true without me. I felt left behind. I was alone. I jumped into work head first because after I lost you I only had hockey left. I couldn’t go to the airport that night because I didn’t want to see you go because seeing you go meant that I failed.
I had failed to make you mine, to man up and made you see that I wanted to make out dreams come true.”

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After talking for a long period Sidney finally was done telling her the story he had held in for years and never told anyone but his mother.

Viviane on the other hand was shaken up. She did not know what to think. If she hadn’t gone out with Chris that night, if she had told him no, if she hadn’t listened to the girls in her class and gone out with Chris to make Sidney jealous and make him take a little more time for her all this had never happened. All the heartbreak and the pain. She let out a heavy sigh and let her wet hands ruffle through his hair.

“Oh Sidney… why is life taking it so hard on us huh? It all could have been so easy…” she whispered after a while.

Sid was confused: “What do you mean?”

“If the girls hadn’t set me up with Chris so you would be jealous, you would’ve told me. Of course I would have accepted the promise… I never knew why you spend so much time at the gym and the rink. If I had know that you only did it to make our dreams come true… I would have fallen harder for you than I already had at that time. I never would have signed those contracts. I would have done my high school time and I would have followed you to Pittsburgh as soon as you got drafted. I would have picked a college there.”

Sidney sighed. “Why were we so blind and hard headed?”

“I have no clue…”

The both remained in silence a little longer until suddenly Viviane’s stomach growled.

“I think junior is hungry.” She commented and Sidney laughed.

“Let’s get inside then and have something to eat so Baby Crosby won’t punish momma for not getting feeded.” Sidney remarked while Viviane stood up.

They wrapped themselves into the towels Sidney had brought and ran into the house. By now the candles were burnt down to they didn’t have to blow them out before returning to warmth.

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Both took a quick shower and Sidney whipped up a small dinner. After putting away the dishes, Sidney send Viviane into the Cinema so they could watch the game. He on the other hand ran into the office to grab something from the safe that had spend over 9 years in his drawer hidden away under his socks.

Viviane sat on the big red couch under a blanket and patted on the empty spot next to her. He laid down behind her and wrapped an arm around her. After the first period when the teams where tied at 2 she left the room because the baby had shifted a little and turned his back to her bladder so she had to run of the rest room again. Sidney headed for the bar and grabbed some bottled water for them in the meantime. In silence they watched the second period. Flower was great in the cage and after that controversial penalty on Hamonic the team seemed to buckle up and they had upped the score to a nice 4-3 in advantage of the Pens.

When the guys finally headed to the locker room for the second intermission, Sidney reached into his pocket and gave the squared box to the girl it was destined for. Suddenly his heart jumped. Sure she had married him and she was expecting his baby but still would she like it? His heart started beating. He had to hold his breath in and bite his lower lip in nervousness.

Viviane’s slightly shaking hands fiddled with the top of the black box with a familiar black name on it. It was the place her mother had taken her to, to get her ears pierced when she was 11. Sidney had been there to hold her hand. She let her finger glide over the top. The corners of the box were banged up and the box looked a little old.

“I always took it with me… Shattuck, Rimouski, Pittsburgh… all the road trips.” He explained suddenly a little embarrassed about the way the box looked like.

Viviane just smiled, opened the box and gasped at the sight of the ring.

“It’s only crystal… that was all I could afford at 15” he said silently.

“It’s so pretty…” she moved the box around to look at it from every possible angle.

Sidney watched her how her eyes sparkled and she looked at it in awe. Relieved he leaned down and placed a soft peck on her cheek.

“Thank you… my 15 year old self would have squealed, jumped around and thrown herself around your neck before breaking into tears.” She commented.

Sidney smiled and asked: “What about you 24 year old self?”

Viviane smiled and caressed the baby bump.

“My 24 year old self does the same in my brain because my baby’s daddy would look at me very angrily because he is too worried about me and the baby.”

Sid laughed. “You know me too well…”

The game got back on so they shut up and watched the pens defeat the Islanders 6-3.