Reinvent Love

He is there when she wakes up, climbing into bed with her and wrapping his arms around her, pressing against her back and she smiles. “Do you want to go shopping today love?” he asks.

“That sounds nice,” she nods. Today is one of her good days. Today she can smile without her cracking, can get out of bed and put on makeup and even go out shopping. He helps her brush her hair and put on her makeup. She giggles and teases him and then they are outside walking hand in hand looking like any other happy couple.
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The next time he sees her she is not smiling. He shows up suddenly, without warning. “What do you want? Why are you here?” she snaps.

“That’s all you have to say to me baby?” he grins and it makes her want to slap him. He can be so full of himself sometimes and it irritates her.

“Go away. I don’t want to see you. I’ve moved on. I’m happy.”

“You’re a liar,” he replies.

“You have that girl. Why aren’t you with her? Why are you here bothering me?”

“Because you need me,” he answers and it only irritates her more that he’s right. He sees through her façade. He knows he all too well.

“I don’t need you,” she denies it all. She is stubborn and doesn’t want to let him win.

“You want me,” he pulls her into his arms roughly and presses his lips to hers.

“Stop it!” she struggles away from his grasp and falls backwards onto the bed. “I’ve moved on Brendon.”

“You know she can’t give you all I can give you. Why do you insist on playing these silly games? Why do you always insist on living in denial?”

“I’m not,” she pouts, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

“It’s because you’re a writer, isn’t it? You like to live inside your head. You live in the worlds you create because you don’t want to face reality. Life is not a romance novel you know. You need to start admitting the truth.”

“You know what I think,” she can fight right back and he knows it. He loves it. “I think you like to be here. You like to play games with me. You wouldn’t like it if I started speaking the truth and living in reality, would you? You’d be gone then. Reality has no room for you.”

He grins smugly. “You’ve always been so smart dear, so smart and beautiful. It’s such a lethal combination.”

She glares at him and he joins her on the bed, crawling towards her. He moves her arms down to her sides and kisses her. She doesn’t fight back, just lets him, and after a few moments she is kissing back because she can’t resist him. She craves him and his voice and his touch even if she doesn’t want to admit it. She loves him.

He pins her down against the mattress and she wrestles in protest. She tries to hit him and he blocks her easily. He grabs a fistful or her hair and their mouths collide again. She gives up then. She melts into his embrace and presses her body to his.

He knows her so well. He knows everything about her just like he knows exactly where to touch her to make her squirm and cry out with pleasure. He also knows where to draw the line, knows better than to expect more than this and he is just fine with that. She lies there panting and limp, hair in her face. He brushes it behind her ear and smiles. “I hate you,” she mutters.

“You’re delusional.”

“Fuck you,” she hisses.
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“What are you doing to yourself honey? You’re destroying yourself. You need to stop all of this,” he tells her. She doesn’t like it when he tells the truth. She’s never liked it when anyone pointed out her stupid flaws and all she was doing wrong. He was always right and she knew it. Either way, she liked to live in the fantasy worlds she created of words and love and safety.

He picks her up and places her on the bed and cleans the blood from her thigh. He puts the razor away but knows better than to try to get rid of it. She would always find some other way to release the pain when things got too overwhelming. Once he had tried to hide all the things she used to cut and she resorted to biting and pinching herself like some kind of animal. It made him sick but in a way he understood her.

He lies down and scoops her into his arms. He kisses her messy short hair and holds her. He knew when to taunt her and when to comfort her. Sometimes it was a thin line and he’d crossed it accidentally before but she always came back to him anyway. “I need you,” she whispers. “Don’t leave me.”

“I know,” he nods. “I promise I won’t leave.”

“Will you take care of me Bren?”

“Of course.”

“Just don’t make me go back to reality yet, okay?”

Her eyes are closing and he can tell she’s exhausted. She must be having trouble sleeping again. “Okay Darling. If that’s what you want.”

“Sing to me?”

“Anytime.”

“I love you…” she whispers.

“I love you too, always,” he assures her then he is singing quietly and she drifts into dreamland safe in his arms, listening to the sound of his voice and her favorite lullaby.