If Only

"Why has everyone in the world chosen this weekend to suddenly decide to disappear." I complained, throwing my phone across the room.

It was already Saturday and I couldn't seem to get a hold of Shawn or Sam. My life went from driving me crazy to overly dull in only a day and all I can seem to think about is getting out of this house. I walked over to the window in my room, pulled the curtains apart, and threw it open. My hair whipped around my face when a particularly strong wind blew towards me. I stood there for a moment with my eyes shut and did nothing but stand there inhaling the fresh air, feeling at peace. I almost wish that everyday was like this, so that my mind would focus on things other than the Shawn and Sam situation. Shawn. I missed him so much already after only a day of not seeing him. Of course I missed hanging out with Sam but he was like the little brother I never had. Poor Sam has to pretend to be my boyfriend when anyone with a brain could tell that he and Marie were meant to be. I picked at my window sill and peeled off a sticker I had put there randomly. "Why can't I stop thinking about him?" I grumbled and turned around.

Unfortunately, my shoes just so happened to be in my pathway and I went flying forward and landed face first with a loud thump. I hadn't thought fast enough to use my hands to catch myself so I felt all the pain in my face. Warm liquid poured out of my nose onto the floor. I pushed my head off the floor and leaned on my elbows, using my hand to wipe away some of the blood dripping. "Shit!" The phone rang for the first time all weekend and I couldn't believe its timing.

Swearing the entire time, I dragged my body across the floor to my phone. Without bothering to check the caller ID I answered the phone and started to claw my way to the bathroom. "What the hell do you want?" My voice sort of gurgled thanks to the blood sliding down my throat and it ruined my attempt to sound bitchy.

"Uh.. Pipes?" Shawn's voice answered my question and I froze.

My mother stood in the hallway, glaring down at me. Every weekend started like this... not me getting a bloody nose... my mom treating me like shit. I never usually see her on school days because she sleeps in and lets me fend for myself, but on the weekend there's pretty much no way to avoid running into her. Her face was scrunched up in anger, so I stayed on my stomach and clutched the phone as if it were a weapon that could beat her away with if she attacked. Why she was this pissed so early didn't make sense and until it all clicked. Lunch.

"Why do you always forget the simplest things?" Her voice was so shrill, it took super strength to not punch her in the face. "Because of you I'm going to be late!"

"Maybe if you didn't spend so much time trying to look fake..." I stated picking at the carpet while looking around, trying to look like I didn't care about her when really I just wanted to avoid eye contact.

"You little..." She listed off so many insults that I tuned her out.

"Hey Shawn, I need-" I tried to say I had to go but mom cut me off.

"Listen to me when I am talking to you!" She shrieked.

"Um... There's too much blood and I got to go-" Before I could finish my rushed fairwell, my mother yanked the phone from my hands and shut it off.

"-make lunch..." I finished, saying to myself.

"Hurry up!"

Throwing the phone to the floor she stomped off to go and finish getting ready so she could head to work. I finally decided to stand up and grab a large wad of toilet paper then proceeded to on towards the kitchen. When I reached my destination I washed my hands off and prepared my mom's lunch. Right when I finished packing up the sandwich she ran into the room, pushed me out of her way, and grabbed the lunch. Then she was gone, out the door and probably already zooming out of the driveway.

Sighing, I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room so I could lounge on the couch. I plopped down and stared at the ceiling and immediately regretted it when more blood went down my throat. Oh God, if Shawn finds out what happened I'll never hear the end of it. There was no way in hell I was going to let him find out that I gave myself a bloody nose from tripping over a shoe. The amount of teasing I would receive... I shudder to even imagine what would happen.

To distract my brain I stood up again walked over to the family computer. I turned the piece of junk on so I could access youtube, because when you do something stupid the best cure is to watch videos of people dumber than you are. I was in the middle of watching one of my many favorite videos when there was a knock on the door, so I hit the space bar only to curse when it scrolled down to the comments rather than pausing. Too lazy to fix my mistake by using the mouse I hopped out of my computer chair still holding toilet paper to my face. I peered through the peephole and butterflies took flight inside my tummy when I saw it was Shawn. "Pipes open up!" Shawn begged.

Shawn pounded on the door, panic clearly written on his face his fists were clenching and unclenching and he was panting so hard that he must have run here from his grandparents house. My mind felt bad for making him so worried but my heart was dancing around in my chest, happy that he was concerned enough to run here. But why did he run? He has our car with him at all times so I don't see why he couldn't have just driven here. "Where's my car?" I called through the door.

"Piper! Are you okay? Open the door!" As I watched him, I noticed that his body had relaxed slightly but I could hear in his voice that he still wanted to check on me.

"What's the password?" I called out and laughed at the disbelief on his face.

"I ran all the way here to save you and you want me to guess the password?" Had I just been listening to his voice he would have sounded angry but I watched his lips twitch from trying to resist smiling at the door.

"Wrong." I said, completely dead pan.

"Oh come on." He was grinning now and I couldn't stop a chuckle.

"Wrong! You have to say: Piper is the greatest girl in the whole wide word."

"Pipes. That. Is. Bull. Shit." He grouched.

"Say it..." I switched my tone from playful to threatening... at least I tried to, but a giggle interrupted my serious voice.

"Piper is the greatest girl in the whole wide world." He reluctantly admitted.

Giving in, I swung the door open and squeaked when he scooped me up into his arms and threw me over his shoulder. "Put me down you... you barbarian!"

"But I'm better!" His laughter rang out and filled the room making my empty house feel warm.

"No fair!" I howled and pounded playfully on his back.

"Down you go!"

I flew through the air and landed on the couch. We were both looking at each other grinning like fools until he noticed my nose. Instinctively I covered my nose with lightning speed but it was too late he already saw it and I could almost feel his temper beginning to boil. His hand reached out and he touched my chin, gently turning my head to he could see it better.

"Did she do this to you?" Shawn demanded with a a shaky voice.

All the humor that was once in his eyes was now gone and I knew at once that he was thinking about his own mother. He put his forehead on his palm and shook his head like he was trying to rid himself of unwanted memories. I was about to speak up and tell him that he was wrong but he kept talking.

"I should have known. I should have been able to help you. I swore no matter what that I would never let you go through what happened to me, and I failed you. God Piper... I'm so sor-" He apologized but I had to stop him.

"Stop! It has nothing to do with her! It was an accident." I blurted to assure him that my mom wasn't involved and he calmed down.

"Oh... well this is embarrassing..." Shawn coughed and it was awkward for a minute until slowly a smirk began to spread on his face.

"So if you have been home all day how did you manage to give yourself a bloody nose?"

"Who says I was home all day." How dare he assume that I have no life!

"My grandma told me you were calling all morning." He informed me and his smile grew impossibly bigger.

"Well, nothing happened! Whatever you are thinking, you're wrong!" I insisted and folded my arms across my chest.

"Oh no you didn't!" He thought about it a bit and laughed at me.

"That's right. I did nothing." I claimed and punched him in the shoulder.

"That's it! You hit me so you must have tripped over something or walked into a wall."

"Damn, you know me too well." I concluded and tried to think of an awesome insult to throw his way but the phone rang.

I picked it up and clicked the talk button not bothering to check who was calling. "Hello?" The phone was silent for a second and Shawn's voice called out from behind.

"How come you're so nice when you talk to other people," He paused and pouted, "Don't you love your best friend anymore?"

Ha that's too accurate. I almost said it out loud but the person on the phone phone spoke before I could. "Hey... Piper its Sam... I was just wondering..."

"Hold on a second, okay?"

I put my hand over the mouth piece on the phone and looked at Shawn. He stared back at me questioningly and tried to ask me who I was talking to. All at once a plan formed in my mind and I knew it would work somehow.

"This is a-a private call." I mumbled trying to look shy, "I'll be back in a minute."

Shawn nodded but I noticed that his jaw had tightened so I figured he realized I was talking to Sam. Knowing Shawn, he wouldn't care that I said it was a private conversation and he would follow me and listen. I ran from the room down the hall to my father's study and left the door cracked open.

"Hey Sam!" I greeted, making my voice overly cheerful.

"Uh. Piper?"

"Of course I want to go out to the movies with you today!"

"Piper?"

"Then we're going to go to that new Italian restaurant?"

"Are you okay?"

"That sounds like a ton of fun! I'll see you at two!" I gushed and then hung up really fast.

I turned on my heal and headed out the door to the living room certain that he wouldn't have made back to the couch in time. As soon as I got into the hall I saw him sprinting to the couch.

"SHAWN!" I bellowed.

He stopped right in his tracks and turned slowly. Guilt was written all over his face because I caught him trying to get away with listening to my "private" conversation. Of course I wanted him to listen but it was fun to catch him doing what he shouldn't. Dramatically, he hung his head and waddled over to me as slowly as possible. I scowled at him because he was playing cute and he knew that I couldn't ever be mean to him when he has the puppy-dog-face. What he doesn't know is how adorable I actually think he is when he uses it against me. Slower than a herd of turtles, he lifted his head and reveal the cutest face to ever be seen on a guy his age.

"Alright! I get it, you feel bad. Turn off the puppy-dog-face or my eyes will explode."From the overwhelming amounts of cuteness.

Puppy-dog-face still intact he got down on his knees and clasped his hands. "What must I do to earn your forgiveness?"

"Give it a rest. Or bake me a batch of cookies." I recommended and walked back the couch.

"As you wish." I heard him murmur behind me.



Both Shawn and I sat on the couch together eating his secret recipe for triple chocolate cookies and watching Tangled. We were singing along horribly off pitch but it was still fun. Everything was fun before I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was twenty minutes until two.

"Shoot! I forgot!" I jumped off of the couch and ran upstairs while yelling to Shawn, "Go ahead and keep watching, I will be right back."

When I reached my room I ran to my closet and threw the door open. For a moment I had no idea what to wear because I didn't consider hanging out with Sam an occasion to dress up for but I knew that it would have to be something that a girl would wear on a date. Main problem: my entire closet is made up of baggy sweatpants and loose t-shirts. "Let's see what I can find..." I muttered and dived into the clothes.



I came down the stairs dressed in a pair of jeans I didn't know I had and a fitted shirt that may have not been the cutest but it certainly was different from what I normally wear. To top it all off I put on a jacket that wasn't loose and took my hair down from the pony tail it had been in earlier. I couldn't wait to see what Shawn would do but I was nervous it wouldn't be the reaction I wanted. I tried to bolt for the door when all of a sudden I was spun around and pulled into a bear hug. He surprised me so I couldn't contain my gasp which turned into a sigh as I momentarily relaxed in his arms.

"I'm so glad my two best friends are so happy!" Shawn exclaimed and it broke my heart instantly.

It almost made me laugh. I loved him so much and here he is congratulating me for dating Sam. All I wanted was for him to need me as much as I need him and he thinks that's how I feel for Sam. This was the exact opposite of what I dreamed up in my mind. In my head I saw him confessing that he loved me all along and that he wished he could take me away from Sam. Obviously, I would tell him everything and then we would be happy. I didn't realize that my dream was so unlikely. I pushed him away and tried with all my might not to cry but several tears escaped.

"Why are you so dumb sometimes? Hell, why am I such an idiot?" I ran out the door to where Sam was waiting and didn't look back.

Shawn's P.O.V.

"What the hell?"