Your Parachute

I sat in the bed at my hotel, Taylor sleeping beside me. It was 2:30 in the morning and I hadn't slept at all. Every time I closed my eyes I would see blue; the exact blue of his eyes. I wasn't used to this feeling where all my thoughts were so consumed by him. Before I even came here, before I'd ever met him, he was my favorite hockey player. He played with such a fierceness and a passion and I always found myself silently cheering for him in my head whenever he took to the ice. But I didn't expect this. I mean, I knew he was gorgeous. God, all those Staals were. But I didn't expect to look at him once and already be kept up by the thought of him.

It scared me.

In my opinion, life's too final to waste it on thinking of boys who will never reciprocate my own feelings. Jordan flirted and he smiled and he acted like I was the only girl in the room. But none of that meant anything because he just was a flirt and he always smiled and I really was the only girl in the room if you didn't count Taylor or Trina, which I hoped to God he didn't count because that would be beyond gross.
So this sleepless night and all these thoughts swarming my head are utterly pointless. But I was at their mercy, because for some reason my heart seems to think Jordan is worth it. Stupid heart.



"......And Jordan Staal is leaving the ice after a hard check into the boards. Looked like a head injury. Cross your fingers Pens fans, that didn't look good at all."

The announcer's words rang out of the TV speakers. My throat felt dry and I cleared it quickly. The noise sounded so loud in my otherwise silent room, as I had muted the TV.

I'm a superstitious person. So it was no coincidence in my mind that after going to 3 Pens games straight that Jordan got hurt the one game I didn't attend. I rewound my TiVo and watched the hit over and over. Each time I winced and a gasp left my lips. I tried to text Taylor, who was at the game, but I didn't get an answer fast enough to talk myself out of my next decision.

& so I started up my rental car and drove to Consol Energy Center because I'd be damned if Jordan was hurt and I wasn’t there. Even though he's a big goofball and embarrasses the shit out of me, I've grown to love the kid the past 2 weeks I've been here. I don't want to admit it, but I might be falling in love with him but he's special to me.



As I got closer to the locker room door, I heard loud shouts and just general rowdiness awaiting me. I took a deep breath and walked into the locker room, hands covering my eyes. The shouts and loudness died down, but I still had my hands covering my eyes.

"Everyone decent?" I squeaked out. I heard someone stifle a laugh and then manly chuckles erupted in the stinky locker room.

I felt warm hands cover my own and bring them down from my face. I looked up to meet the blue eyes that I had so desperately been wanting to see.

"You're okay?" I verified quietly, doing a once-over for any signs of injury. The room was still filled with life and sound, but I paid no attention to the crazy hockey players around us. My eyes stayed on his.

"I'm fine," he said just as quietly, his lips barely moving.

God, I felt like kissing him. After wondering if he had been seriously hurt and rushing over here, I was still filled with an adrenaline of sorts and I needed his lips on mine. He looked so calm, so carefree. His eyes were slightly hooded and his lips were pursed just a bit. His blue eyes were carefully concentrated on my green ones. He slowly started pulling his lips closer to mine. I closed my eyes and waited for the connection.

Nothing.

I still felt his hands on my waist, holding me close. I opened my eyes and saw he had stopped leaning towards me. His eyes held conflict, like he wanted to kiss me but he couldn't. Slowly I stepped out of the trance and snuck out of his grasp, shooting him a shy, but questioning glance before going to greet Sid and explain to Taylor why I came rushing over here like a mad woman.

Why did I though? Jordan Staal is nothing more to me than a friend, but even I can't fool myself into believing I could feel that want for a friend. Because God, I needed to kiss him. So okay. I admit to myself that I'm falling for the guy. Now onto the next thing:

Why the hell didn't that fucker kiss me?!