For You

“Do you want to know what I love most about you?” Jimmy whispered in the darkness after our love making. Our bodies tangled together in a heap of sweat. Our hands never leaving each other. I loved this man with all of my heart.

“What?” I asked as my finger lazy traveled up and down his chest. He captured my hand with his and brought it to his lips and kissed every finger tip. I giggled.

“You are so talented, and you’re modest,” he replied. “Not to mention you have the worst taste in men,” he joked.

I laughed and took back my hand and smacked his chest. “I’m married to you!”

“Exactly, you’re a hot actress. You could have done better than me, babe,” he laughed and held me closer in his embrace.

I shook my head. “I could have not. I truly couldn’t have had someone better than you,” I climbed on top of him. “I’m married to a musical genius,” I leaned down and kissed him softly. He moaned and wrapped his long arms around my body.

“I love you, Juliana,” he murmured against my lips.

“And I love you, Jimmy.”

“I got you something,” he said and he reached into the nightstand drawer and took out a small bear. I smiled. He held it out for me. It was a tiny bear that had a red and white strip scarf around its neck. The cheeks were airbrushed pink. I knew why he got it for me. “When I saw the blush, I thought of you. You look exactly like this when you blush.”

I hit him again.

“I’m did something nice and this is my reward?” he chuckled. I grabbed the tiny bear and kissed my husband ten times harder than before. “Now you whenever you look at it, you’ll think of me.”

“Juliana,” a voice pulled me back to the present. I looked to my left and saw my manager and also my uncle August. “Sweetie, we’re almost there. Do you remember the names?”

It took me a minute to remember I was on my way to the Academy Awards, also known as the Oscars. I was in a magnificent gown by Valentino and the jewelry I was wearing was from Chanel.

“Valentino for the dress and Chanel for jewelry. I’m not wearing much, Uncle,” I smiled at him as best I could. I held the tiny bear I named Jimmy inside of my purse. I was holding it the whole way for strength. It wasn’t my first award show, but I was nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role. It was one of the most important days of my acting career, and I didn’t have my husband with me.

Jimmy was taken away from me just over a little a year ago. It was hard not to think of him on a day he predicted coming.

The limo pulled up to the red carpet. The door opened and someone held out their hand to help me out. My uncle was behind me. The fans yelled my name and I waved to them with the perfect smile. I loved my fans. They were my family.

They got me through a rough time. All of their letters got me through Jimmy’s passing. It was something I would never ever forget. The rest of the gang was amazed by how much the fans came together. They felt our pain. They mourned with us just like how they laughed with us through the good times.

I said hello to a couple of fellow friends like Sandra Bullock. I talked to her for a minute and then I continued to move down the carpet. I posed for pictures and did a couple of interviews. I was asked who I was wearing and about my nomination.

“Any ideas who you will thank if you win?” I was asked.

“I will thank my fans because I am where I am because of them, and… my late husband for pushing me to audition for this part. I wasn’t going to do it, but he pushed me, and thanks to him I’m also this far.”

“I’m so sorry about the passing of your husband, Ms. Montagne,” the interviewer said.

I smiled. “Thank you.”

The rest of the evening was a bit of a blur. It all just clashed together. There were too many faces, and a lot of flashing cameras. I was used to it, but it still bothered me a bit. My uncle reminded me to smile from time to time because my smile would falter. I wanted to take out the tiny bear, Jimmy, but it would so inappropriate.

But when I sat down, next to Celine Dion, I took out the bear and held it in my hand through out the night. I wasn’t presenting, so I was able to relax. Another memory swooped in my head. It was the last time I talked to Jimmy.

“I’ll be back in two days, I promise,” I kissed Jimmy’s face all over.

His arms wounded tightly around me. “I’m going to miss you.”

“You know I won’t be long gone. It’s just two days in New York, and I’ll be back. I’ll call you before I go to sleep, okay?”

He pressed his lips against mine, and it stole my breath like it did every time. My body heated with pleasure. I knew I had to stop the kiss because I wouldn’t be able to control myself. Most importantly Jimmy wouldn’t be able to control himself and we would be making love on our foyer.

I groaned and pulled away.

“I love you, but I have to go,” I told him.

“Hmm, fine, but when you get back. You have to listen to a song I’m working on that I am calling my masterpiece.”

I grinned. “Everything you do is a masterpiece, babe. I’ll be sure to listen to it. I promise.”

I didn’t get to hear it directly from him. I was too late. When I got back home, I found my husband dead, and I didn’t get to hear his masterpiece from him. I got to listen to it a few weeks after Jimmy’s burial and I broke down to tears.

It was his voice and it send shivers all over my body that his song was about death. It was just so unreal that he left this song not just for me, but for his friends and family, and his fans.

“Juliana, it’s time,” my uncle touched my arm.

I blinked. Had three hours passed already? I was truly lost in my own world. I held my breath as Jeff Bridges began to introduce all of the nominees. A camera was ready close to me. I held a sweet smile as Jeff explained my work in the film I was in.

I was touched by what was said.

I held the tiny bear in my hand. I felt like Jimmy was giving me his strength from above. I could feel him around me, all around me. His cologne. His body heat. I could almost feel him sitting next to me with his goofy grin and an expression telling me ‘You got this’.

“And the Oscar goes to…” Jeff Bridges said.

“I believe in you,” Jimmy told me when I told him I wanted to become an actress. We were teenagers in high school and we definitely had that relationship where everyone thought it was more than friendship, but we would just say we were friends. “I think you’re great. You lie perfectly to your parents, and an actor or actress all truly is a liar.”

I giggled and hugged him. “You’re the best. What would I do without you, Jimmy?”

“Probably rot,” he smirked.

“Juliana Montagne!” Jeff Bridges announced.

Applause went around and for a second I couldn’t believe my name was said. I stood up slowly and hugged my uncle and some fellow friends around. I bit my lower lip and felt my throat close up a bit. My eyes stung with tears. I got up stage and I was handed the Oscar by Jeff Bridges after a quick hug. I was also given the envelop he opened.

I took five seconds to close my eyes and clear my throat before turning to the audience. I was amazed by how big the place was. I looked up and to the sides.

Once the applause stopped, I had to speak.

“I want to thank,” my voice squeaked so I cleared my throat and felt a tear fall our. “I want to firstly thank all of my family and friends. I would not be here without them. My manager, who is also my uncle, and… everyone from the film. The costume design and the camera crew. The director. And… Jimmy. This is for Jimmy who believed in me, who pushed me, and who told me this day would come. I did not believe him because I didn’t have the faith in myself that he had in me.” The tears fell down quickly and I took a couple of seconds to recover. “To my fellow deathbat followers! I love you for the support you’ve given me. I love each an every one of you.”

I was awarded a round of applause as I finished.

I went backstage and met up with my uncle. I hugged him tightly. I took out the tiny bear from my purse and kissed it.

“For you, Jimmy,” I whispered to myself.