Alex Gaskarth Must Die

‘You guys are such assholes.’ I glare at Robin in shotgun and Brittany in the back as I park my car, fuming inside. ‘Such assholes,’ I repeat. Brittany and Robin smile cheerily at me and jump out of the car and Zoe follows behind them, grimacing at me.

‘I feel your pain,’ she groans, pulling on the hem of her fluttery chiffon number as we start walking up the road towards Ashley’s house.

‘At least yours isn’t skin-tight,’ I grumble, shooting a glare towards Brittany. At her house, when we were getting ready, she got Zoe and I into dresses. Really, really short dresses. Through some combination of drinks and distractions and building up my self-esteem, I got into the dress. I got into the dress. I got into the short, tight, blue mini-dress. And I enjoyed it. Needless to say, I crashed from I’m-the-prettiest-girl-in-the-world to It-was-my-period-last-week-and-I-gained-ten-pounds-I-should-still-be-in-sweats in under fifteen minutes on the trip to Ashley’s house. It’s not only my self-image problems getting in the way; how do you even walk wearing a thong and a skirt that keeps riding up your ass?

‘You guys look great,’ Brittany says blithely. She motions to her own strapless pink mini-dress as an example.

‘That’s not what we’re worried about,’ Zoe says.

‘I can’t believe I wore a thong.’ I look at Robin’s outfit of jeans and a tank top and glare in jealousy. She grins back and points to her butt, mouthing, Granny panties! ‘I hate you all.’

Brittany sighs dramatically and stops when we’re a house away from Ashley’s. She waits until Robin and Zoe are standing beside her, and then places her hands on my shoulders. ‘Rebecca,’ she starts. ‘We talked about this at my house.’

‘Wait,’ I interrupt. ‘What about Zoe?’

Brittany shrugs. ‘She’s not the one trying to get Alex.’ I roll my eyes and push Brittany’s arms off me.

‘I get it, Britt, okay? Go in there, be gorgeous, do shots, subtly work in some Alex charming. I’ve got it.’ I look at her insistently, and the (completely fake) look seems to do the trick.

‘Okay,’ she relents. As we troop up the grass in our heels, Robin hangs back to get next to me. She gives me a look, as if to say, I see right through you, and smiles. It’s encouraging, mocking, and amused all at once, and completely Robin. I smile back. These moments are what remind me that Robin’s my best friend; not Brittany, not Zoe, but Robin.

‘I know this isn’t exactly best friend bonding activity,’ she says quietly as we reach the porch. ‘But, hey- It’s high school, and this is the last year we can do whatever the fuck we want.’ We hug quickly but separate at the wolf whistles of some guys on the porch, and Brittany and Zoe pull us inside.

The inside is- Well- I should probably get used to seeing parties thrown by cheerleader’s look something like this. Ashley’s house, while not as big as Julia’s or Brittany’s, is still a little bigger than average. The thing which really does it, is that the floors are dark wood and the walls are all mirrored. There’s a giant chandelier hanging from the ceiling and it’s glowing in rainbow colours that are being tossed around by mirrors. In the corner is a giant stereo, playing whatever mindless pop is popular these days, and the room is filled to the brim with loud high-schoolers grinding on each other already. Sometimes I’m honestly amazed at the shit we get away with; are the neighbours honestly sleeping through this?

‘This block and the five surrounding it are at a neighbourhood party,’ Brittany explains when I voice my concern. ‘That’s why we had Ashley do it.’

‘Of course,’ I say, and shut my mouth before I can say anything else. ‘Jack’s coming over right now,’ I say quickly, waving at him. He waves back and yells in Alex’s ear before starting to move through the mass of people and towards us.

‘Right,’ Brittany says, already in action mode. ‘You know what you have to do, right?’ I nod. ‘Robin will go with you, Zoe and I’ll go say hi to the cheerleaders. They like you the most,’ she says in explanation towards Robin. ‘Now go!’ Jack’s only a few feet away by now, so Brittany and Zoe smile briefly at him before turning away and disappearing.

‘Hey!’ Jack screams at me over the music.

‘Hi!’ I yell back, hugging him. ‘Uh, you know Robin,’ I say, motioning towards her.

‘Hi,’ she says at a normal volume. She waves and doesn’t make any motion to hug him, but Jack wraps her up anyway. ‘You’re drunk already, aren’t you?’ Robin asks dryly. I laugh as Jack nods and pulls us towards the kitchen, where Alex is presumably hanging around.

‘I’ve had a few drinks,’ he says to us, stumbling slightly and practically screaming. ‘But I’m not drunk!’

‘He’s drunk,’ Rian laughs.

‘Our little lightweight,’ Alex says fondly and a little tipsily himself, ruffling Jack’s hair. Jack yelps a little in protest, yelling something about straighteners and hair-dye and do you have any idea how long it took me to get it right for your birthday party, asshole? as we laugh.

‘Yeah, happy birthday,’ I say, leaning over to give Alex a hug. We’re friends now, or at least as much friendship as the plan will allow, so I decide to push the plan to the back of my mind for the night, whatever Brittany says about this being a prime opportunity for making out. We’re friends and it’s his birthday, and what kind of friend would I be to spend it thinking about how to break his heart? He keeps an arm slung around me when we separate and I don’t move to knock it off, instead leaning into it a little and ignoring the look in Robin’s eyes as she wishes him a happy birthday too.

‘Thanks,’ Alex grins. ‘The big one-eight.’

‘Dude, you can, like, drink alcohol in three years!’ Jack slurs, laughing drunkenly. There’s another guy next to him that I don’t recognize; a tall, skinny guy with black scene hair draped over one eye. I look at Robin instinctively and the corner of her mouth tilts up a little, a silent laugh with me as we immediately drop him into the category of Pretentious Scene Guys Who Take Everything Way Too Seriously.

‘Can’t wait,’ Alex laughs. He turns to the guy with scene hair and points him out to Robin and I. ‘This is Zack,’ he says. ‘Plays bass in our band.’

‘Hi,’ Zack says, smiling at us. He’s a lot quieter than I would’ve expected and he even gives the impression of being a little shy too.

‘Nice to meet you,’ I say. Robin nods and smiles a response, far too busy to say anything else as she gulps down her beer and hands me one. I take a small sip from it, laughing as Robin refills her cup. ‘On the cusp of alcoholism,’ I tease. She rolls her eyes and downs her beer, nodding enthusiastically when Jack challenges her to shots. The kitchen quiets down and gets louder simultaneously as we all crowd around Robin and Jack and their shot glasses filled with vodka. Robin’s taken to drinking a lot better than I have and we’ll frequently find her sipping from a glass of wine at dinnertime now. Brittany gave us all fake ID’s a while ago: Zoe and I turned as white as a sheet and refused them; Robin took hers with a small smile and made plans to go to a new club with Brittany.

‘C’mon, Robin!’ I scream. Alex whoops next to me as the whole room screams Robin’s name; since Jack’s already absolutely hammered, it’s really not very likely he’s going to out-drink Robin. Sure enough, Robin slams down her sixth shot with a triumphant shout as Jack pushes his hands in his eyes and groans, admitting defeat. He stumbles away, presumably to throw up in the bathroom, and the whole room yells happily when Robin announces victory shots for everyone.

- - -

Around one in the morning, the party had started to cool down. And, really, that wasn’t saying much, seeing as there were too many ping pong balls dripping in beer to count and some people had already been kicked out for having a fight. 2:00AM, though, was when it finally started to peter down. People were trickling out, designated drivers blowing up at their friends out on the road when they threw up in their car. It was amusing and kind of scary all at once, seeing as I was one of the only non-drunk people at the party. Brittany and I stand between the door and the couch; far enough to still enjoy the party, but close enough to shove people out to puke on the sidewalk if need be. She spots Alex and Jack coming before I do, and nudges me to alert me. I nod in reply and shift slightly out of the circle we were in, giving them room to come over if they want.

‘Hey,’ Alex says, smiling widely. Jack beams at me and abandons Alex and I for the circle, making some joke about Brittany’s boobs that has her blushing furiously and the rest of them roaring with laughter.

‘Hi, Alex.’

‘You look pretty tonight,’ he says. I arch my eyebrows at him as he hugs me, wrapping his arms tightly around me and not letting go for far too long. I can see Brittany smirking over his shoulder, mouthing He likes your boobs in that dress! over and over to make sure I get the message. I roll my eyes and hug Alex back.

‘Thanks, I guess.’

‘You guess?’ He pulls back with an outraged look on his face. ‘How can you say, “you guess”? You say “thank you, I know, because I’m really fucking hot.” That’s what you say!’

‘Not when guys I don’t even know try to coerce me into a bedroom with them and shove their tongues down my throat,’ I say dryly.

‘They’re all bitches!’ he shouts, getting us some looks. ‘I’ll beat them up! I’ll beat them up a thousand times!’

‘With what?’ When he gives me a confused look, I poke his arm. ‘It’s not like you have any muscle to actually do it,’ I laugh. He mock-glares at me and pulls me forward for another hug, and the momentum makes me lose my balance and get us stumbling out the door. ‘I’m done falling,’ I laugh, barely getting out words as he keeps moving backwards. ‘We can stop walking now.’

‘Oh.’ He stops and looks around, as if confused as to how we ended up on the grass, and then looks back at me. ‘You’re pretty.’

‘Thanks.’ This time it actually feels real, like a flower from a little boy, and I catch myself smiling in spite of myself.

‘Hug?’ he asks.

‘Sure.’

We hug and I catch his hands wandering lower on my back. ‘Alex,’ I warn.

‘Right,’ he laughs. ‘Wait- I don’t-’

‘Don’t what?’ I pull back a little, confused, but before I can see his face and see what’s wrong, he rockets forward and I realize his hands on my ass aren’t the biggest problem I have right now. Because while what Alex Gaskarth has done to girls is pretty disgusting, and he is kind of an asshole if you’re perfectly honest, everything else pales in comparison to nearly being thrown up on.

- - -

From Kara D. to Alex G. (CC) on 11/16/05
so i’m guessing i’m designated driver again at the party?

Alex G. to Kara D. (CC)
ding ding we have a winner!

Rian D. to Alex G. (CC)
sorry kare bear

Jack B. to Rian D. (CC)
excuse me as i go puke from the cute

Kara D. to Jack B. (CC)
you’re just jealous

Jack B. to Kara D. (CC)
or are you the one who’s jealous of my good looks?

Kara D. to Jack B. (CC)
jack, that doesn’t even deserve a reply

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