Opposites Always Attract.

”So, you hate each other, huh?” my mum asked as soon as Gerard left my house.

Turning to face her, I saw she had a massive smirk on her face, with her eyebrows raised and her arms crossed. She wasn’t angry, she was just highly amused.

“Uh – Ye – I don’t kn – No, we – I don’t have a bloody idea if I’m honest.” I stumbled over my excuses before just admitting the true. I just didn’t have a clue.

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know?’” she guided me into the living room and pushed me onto the couch, she thumped herself next to me, propping her feet on the coffee table.

I sighed “I mean I literally don’t know. One minute we’re arguing and shouting and what not, and then the next that happens” I made exaggerate motions with my hands, referring to the incident that happened earlier.

“It didn’t seem like you hated each other when I saw you,” My mum replied cheekily. I swatted her on the arm, but smiled never the less. After all she was right.

“He’s very different, isn’t he?” my mother pondered. Looking at her I saw her deep in thought, tapping the end of her nose with her finger, which she always did when she was thinking hard.

“Different? Not really, is he?”
“Different to your friends I mean. Maybe that’s why you like him.” She looked at me and smiled.

“L-Like him? Mother I do not like Gerard Way. That’s mental.” My eyes widened at the idea, it was impossible. Sure we had kissed, but people kiss all the time, it doesn’t mean anything.

Gazing at me in confusing, my mother questioned me further “Oh, come on, Elliott. People just don’t kiss for the sake of it, something is going on, and you can’t lie to me.”

“Mum, I think you’re confused. People kiss all the time for the ‘sake of it’. You’ve been to High School Parties, right? Angelica doesn’t give them hickeys to herself. Look, I don’t know what is happening between Gerard and I, alright? Literally, I have no idea.” I slumped back on the sofa, pushing my mother’s feet off of the table and replacing them with my own.

“You must have some idea?”
“Mum, you are seriously underestimating the situation. Gerard and I hate each other, or at least we think we do. But then we get into these little situations where things just...Change. Like today, we were just messing around, and pissing each other off. And then...It just happens. It just happens every time, and I’m not sure why. But every time, we act like nothing’s happened. We just say we hate each other and everything is back to normal. But people who hate each other don’t just kiss. But I don’t like him, I seriously don’t.”

“I think you’re just afraid.” My mother said matter-of-factly. I stared at her, but she seemed completely serious, happy with her conclusion.

“Afraid? Afraid of what, what could I possibly be afraid of?” sitting up a little as I anxiously waited for my mum’s reply.

“Well, Gerard is completely different to you, right? He’s unpopular, a bit of a nerd, a bit troubled?” I just nodded; surprised that she’d managed to figure out Gerard so quickly.

“Right, and that’s why you hate each other? Because you’re so different? You’re popular, you have friends and you’re happy-“
“Just cut to the chase, mum. What are you trying to say?”

“You’re attracted to him because he’s your type, but he’s not meant to be. But you can’t accept it, but you’re starting to realise it, and you’re scared of admitting the truth. He’s the kind of person you want to be friends with, but you can’t be friends with him. And he wants to be friends with you. But you hide your desires through hatred because you know being friends or whatever is almost forbidden.”

Even though I didn’t want to agree with what my mother was saying, she was saying the absolute perfect truth. She has never been more right about me. Could I admit it to her? If there was one person I could talk about my troubles with, it was always my mum.

Tara was perfect for gossip, and boy trouble, and for bitching, and for compliments. But at the end of the day, my mum was the one who held all the answers. She had lived life, unlike Tara. My mum knew the world, she had made mistakes, she had made difficult decisions and she had survived High School. But more importantly, she had fallen in love (and she fell in love with somebody she hated)

In other words, my mother was my hero.

“You know I’m right, don’t you?” The look I gave her told her the answer immediately. I didn’t want to admit it, but it was true. Gerard was the person I almost needed to be friends with, even if I didn’t want to. And in a way, he needed me to, but we seriously didn’t want to confess this to each other.

We had convinced ourselves for so long that hatred was the only thing that we would feel for each other, that as soon as different emotions and feelings started to surface we became confused and scared. But now I finally feel like it could be settled.

I didn’t have to be scared of Gerard, why should I be? It was clear we felt the same, we wanted to be friends, we wanted to know more about each other, but the idea of other people finding out and becoming involved was to important and threatening.

But, the most important thing was that nobody needed to find out. Our connection was something only we needed to know about. Not even Frank, or Mikey, or Tara necessary had to know.

The confusing thing was still the kisses though? What did they mean? Where they meaningless? I liked to think that because our emotions were so fucked up that we weren’t quite sure where we stood with each other. But now that, at least in my mind, our relationship was established I needn’t be afraid of such things happening again. We could be secret friends. We didn’t have to hang out, we didn’t have to talk behind others backs, but we could be civil, and we could laugh and joke with one another.

I didn’t want to think of what would happen after the project finished, after all it was the only reason everything happened in the first place. Once it was over Gerard and I wouldn’t have an excuse to hang out together. Maybe I would get over it; after all it was only Gerard, right? He wasn’t really going to impact my life so much that in a few weeks time, when the project finished, I would feel the undesirable need to still be with him, right? (I was so wrong)

But it was time for me to stop thinking. I can ramble so much, even in my own mind. All I knew was why couldn’t Gerard and I be friends? I’d accepted he was different to how I thought he was, and I believe he’d done the same. Now we could finally stop arguing and maybe actually talk about more important things. Like if the zombies should be able to run or not? After all, we were art partners before we were friends...I think.

“You know something, mum?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re amazing.” I squeezed her tight, before standing up.
“And so are you, even if you do make out with strange boys in my hallway. Although to be fair, he’s better than Zayn.”
“Mum, if you mention that kiss one more time I will burn your Madonna collection.”
“No!”
“Right, well be quiet then.”
“I still think you’re cute togeth-“
“Isn’t Like a Prayer your favourite record? I think I’ll start with that one.” I walked out of the living room, a grin on my face.

“If you dare touch my music, I will rip your Pikachu limb from limb!” my mother stood up briskly and jabbed her finger in my chest.

“If you touch Pikachu I will eat your low fat cookies”
“I’ll drink all of the vodka which I know is hidden under your bed.”
“I’ll tell dad about the cigarettes you keep in your underwear draw.”
“I’ll tell your father about the very lacy matching underwear I found in your underwear draw.”
“I’ll tell your boss about the time you called in sick for a few days when you really went to New York to get your Spice Girls CD signed.”
“I’ll tell your principle that you skipped school to play Assassin’s Creed”
“I’ll tell your friend, Mary that you puked on her flowers and blamed it on her dog.”
“I’ll tell your friends that I saw you and Gerar-“

“What’s going on here?”
“Dad”
“Louis, your daughter and I were just – Uh, discussing something.”
“Oh yeah?” my father said, brief case in hand, his tie slightly askew after just walking through the door. Staring at my mother and I amusingly.

“Yeah, about when you’d be home!” I said, “And here you are! Okay, I’m going upstairs now.” I gave my mother a look, which she returned, basically meaning ‘I won’t tell if you don’t’. We nodded at each other slightly before I walked to my room.

-

“He is such an amazing kisser! Seriously, Elliott, he makes my legs go like jello.” Tara told me as we walked to history. I was half listening, just nodding and agreeing where it was appropriate.

For most of the day I had butterflies in my stomach. I am not sure why, it felt like I was excited and nervous at the same time. It was a strange feeling, and I was very confused as to why it was there, I couldn’t think of a reason why I would be excited or nervous.

We turned left as Tara continued to talk about Seth, her description becoming more graphic as she spoke about what had happened last night. My eyes wandering through the faces of familiar and not so familiar faces. And once I saw a particularly familiar mop of black hair, my heart lept.

Oh, so that’s why I have butterflies?

Gerard turned and started walking as soon as I passed him, causing our shoulders to knock. We looked at each other, I resisted the urge to smile, and instead looked at him in disgust.

“Emo” I said, making people turn to look, the childish insult slipping from my lips before I realised. Gerard looked taken aback, biting his lip to stop from laughing, but returning the snide comment regardless.

“Whore.” He said spat, loud enough for several people to hear, including Tara.

“What did you say?” Tara said, suddenly squaring up to him. I pushed her back, not wanting a scene to occur because of our fake insults.

“It’s fine, Tara. Let’s leave this freak; we don’t want him actually thinking he’s important.” Tara laughed at my words, and began to walk away. I gave Gerard a very small look, accompanied by a smirk, which he saw and returned.

Walking away from him, my heart was still going crazy. I believe I was just anxious about seeing Gerard that day, and that was the reason for my butterflies. But soon I would realise my heartbeat increased every time I saw that fucking boy for a very different reason.

But for now, we were just friends. Barely friends, but friends never the less.

It was dangerous, the most dangerous thing I had ever done. Jumping out of windows and taking ecstasy was nothing compared to starting a friendship with someone I was meant to hate. But every time I saw that emo kid in the hallway, a shot of adrenaline coursed through my veins. Sure, I hated him still, but that just made our relationship so much more interesting.

It was aggressive and passionate. Funny and serious. Cute and ugly. Hate and love.

But of course, for now it was just beginning. Not even just the beginning of the friendship, but the beginning of a whole new chapter of my life. Once the door was opened, it could never be closed. A new road was right out there in front of me, and I could do nothing but take it. Not because it was the only option, but because it was the only option I wanted.