Opposites Always Attract.

I let Tara lead me to my car. The whole time she was holding my elbow protectively, stroking her soft thumb on my blood stained skin. Occasionally she would whisper to me “It’s okay.”

All I could do was nod my head. I wanted to be home, in my pyjamas, watching a Disney film. I wanted to be six again. When all that mattered was princesses and superheroes and candy. I didn’t want to have to worry about bitches and boyfriends and the possibility of my entire high school career ending because of some stupid gossip.

Instead of opening the driver’s side of the car, I slide into the passenger’s seat, handing Tara my keys so she could drive me home. She looked at me panicked, but turned the key anyway, making the car jolt to life. She had never driven my car before. She took a deep breath, rearranged the mirror, and also wiggled in her seat to make herself more comfortable. She put her foot on the accelerator with confidence before shrieking and slamming on the brakes.

“Didn’t realise it was in Reverse.” She chuckled shamefully after the car had jerked backwards, before popping the gearstick into ‘Drive’ and making her way out of the school.

As she drove she would glance over at me worriedly. To be honest, I could tell why she was worried. I was never this quiet. Not with anything. Usually if someone was a bitch to me I would either laugh about it, or get angry about it. But I would never let it affect me. But now, I was sat with my arms wrapped around me, staring out of the window my mouth tightly shut.

“You’re quiet.” Tara dared mention.
“Yeah.” I simply stated, my voice low and uninterested.
“Y-you’re okay though?” She asked, her voice quivering with...Fright? Shock? I don’t know.
I thought for a moment, was I okay?

No, no I fucking wasn’t. But I smiled weakly and turned towards her.

“Yeah, Tara. I’m fine.” She seemed happy with my response, her mouth twitching into a smile as she concentrated on the road. So much so that she didn’t seem my face drop back into a frown.

-

“Go get a shower, I’ll make you tea.” Tara said, throwing her handbag onto my sofa as if it were her own home. I didn’t reply, instead running upstairs and stripping my clothes off as quickly as I could.

Entering my bathroom I dared to take one peek in the mirror, and wished I hadn’t. My hair was a darker red than it usually is thanks to the blood that stuck to it. My face was red and dry, tear marks streaked through the red substance. Black mascara ringed my eyes, while my usually pearly white eyeballs were now bloodshot and sore looking.

I grunted and climbed into my shower, turning the water to a hotter degree than normal. I watched as the blood flushed down the drain, sighing pleasantly as my hair became soft and my skin smooth. For that half an hour my troubles seemed to flush away also. Instead of dwelling on what just happened, I hummed to myself. All sorts of upbeat and happy songs, not listening to my brain which was screaming at me.

Wrapping a fluffy white towel around myself I looked in the mirror again. Wiping away the condensation I could see a much brighter and much cleaner Elliott Haile staring back at me. While my skin was still red, it was only from the hot water and the amount that I had scrubbed at it, rather than from the dried blood that it had been from earlier. I bent down and ruffled my now soft hair with a towel and twisted it so it sat on the top of my head.

I padded downstairs in my bare feet, eager to speak to Tara. I found her stirring two mugs tea. One with Barbie smiling happily on the front, the other decorated with the Batman logo. She turned around after hearing me approach and smiled.

“You look better.” She noticed.
“I feel better.” And in some ways I did. But that still didn’t stop the somewhat sick feeling which was slowly bubbling in my stomach.

She handed me the Batman mug and following me into the living room.

“So, what are you gunna do now?” she asked, taking a small sip from her mug.
I sighed “I don’t know.”
“Want me to call Gerard over?” she already had her phone in her hand, ready for my answer.

I thought. Did I want him here? My boyfriend who I could possibly love? And the boy I got drenched in blood for?

“No,” I decided, lowering my head to avoid her confused eyes “I-I don’t want him finding out. I don’t want to see him.”
“He’s gunna find out anyway.” She noted.
“I know but...I-I just don’t want to see him right now.” To be honest, I didn’t want to see anyone right now. Tara was the only one who I could stand, so naturally, she was the only one that was here.

“Oh, right. Okay then,” she put her phone back into her back while continuing to stare at me “Everything’s going to be okay you know.”
“Huh?” I looked up at her.
“Everything is going to be okay.” She repeated, looking at me, her blue eyes serious.
“You think?” I doubted, looking at her through the steam of my tea mug.
“Yeah, I do. Gerard will protect you. And Frank and the guys wouldn’t let anything happen to you. And you always have me.”
“But you can’t protect me forever. I don’t want you to have to protect me.”
“Elliott, you’re my best friend. I would walk to the moon and back just to know you’ll be okay.”

I laughed “Even though walking to the moon’s impossible?”
“Yes,” she replied “Or I’d fly. Or however the fuck you get to the moon.”

I smiled, a genuine one. “You’re a special one Tara Day.” I shook my head, laughing.
“I’m taking that as a compliment.” She stated.

-

“So, Elliott, how was your day?” My mum asked me at dinner later that night. She twirled spaghetti around her fork and looked at me with interest.

“I-it was okay.” I lied, stuffing spaghetti and Bolognese into my mouth to avoid more questions.
“How’s Gerard?” my dad asked, trying not to laugh as he watched me struggle with my mouthful.
“Fine.” I managed to say.
“And Tara?”
“Fine.” I repeated.
“And Chloe?” My mum asked, not looking me directly in the eye.
“What is this, an interrogation?” I said once swallowing my food.
“Just taking an interest.” My dad said, looking over at my mother for support.

I eyed them suspiciously.

“What do you know?” I finally said.
“I found your clothes, Elliott,” My mum sighed, placing her fork and turning around to face me. My mouth opened, speechless. “What happened?”

“I think one of the cheerleaders has watched ‘Carrie’ too many times.” I replied honestly. Not instantly giving away what they had done.

“For fuck’s sake!” my mum suddenly yelled “What kind of twisted school did we send you to? I mean I know Belleville isn’t exactly the best place in the world, but fuck! They’re like fucking animals!”

“It’s fine, mum.” I reassured her. And really, it was. After spending a few hours collecting my thoughts I realise what had happened wasn’t as bad as I thought. Well...It was, I had just convinced myself it wasn’t.

“But it’s not, Elliott.” My normally jokey father said
“But I’m fi-“
“That’s not the point!” my mother said, pulling her hand through her hair “They covered you in blood, Elliott! That is not right.”

“Bu-“
“No ‘buts’, Elliott.” My dad said, pointing his fork at me.
“What are you going to do?” I asked worriedly.
My mother placed her head in her hands, her hair hanging dangerously close to her pasta.

“Get revenge.” She replied, taking both my father and me by surprise.
“Wh-what?” I almost laughed, thinking she was joking, but noticing my dad’s scared face I guess she wasn’t.

“We are going to get revenge! How dare that little girl think she can treat my daughter like that!” she stabbed a meatball with her fork.
“R-Rosie, you’re not in college anymore-“ my father started to say, raising his hands to try and calm her. But quieted instantly when my mum shot him a look.

“I don’t care, Louis. They covered my girl in blood. Nobody gets away with that! They picked the wrong mother to mess with.”

In all honesty, I was frightened. I had heard of my mother’s mean streak, but I had never seen it like this. I was use to a telling off and a grounding, not a pranking BAMF.

“Rosie,” my dad began carefully “I hope you realise what you are planning could potentially be illegal, and as a lawyer I am advising you not to do this.”

“What are you first? A lawyer...Or a father?”

After two seconds of stone silence, my father sighed “I’ll start the car.”

And with that he left the table to grab his car keys. Leaving me and my mother. One with a devilish smirk, and the other in utter bewilderment.

-

“Okay, we’ll need this,” she picked up some red paint “These” she picked up a pad of sticky notes “Those” she picked up a pack of balloon’s “Oh, and these.” She dumped a large packet of pink items into the trolley which my dad was pushing up and down aisles with.

“Pinkies?” I questioned, examining the packet curiously.
“Dead baby mice,” my mum said casually, throwing a bucket into the cart “Used to feed animals like lizards and stuff.”
“Ew.” I cried in disgusted, dropping them quickly.

“Rosie, do you really think we should be doing this?” My father asked, rubbing his eyes as we trundled down yet another aisle in the super market.

“Yes,” She said, without any doubt “I had bitches which were mean to me at school, and trust me. Once I dealt with them, they never messed with me again.”
“But...This is somewhat illegal.” He stated.
“Well, it’s not like you’re going to tell anyone, is it, honey?” she grinned, almost patronisingly patting him on the head.

“N-no. Of course not.” My father laughed nervously.

As we paid for our items, my mother had a grin fixed on her face which I can only describe as being insane. She held it all the way home, and I could almost see the gears working in her mad brain.

“Chloe Brown is going down,” my mother chuckled darkly “Hah! That rhymed” she giggled afterwards.

I could only close my eyes in distress at what my mother had planned.

“If I get expelled because of this, I hope you realise it is all your fault.” I said.
“It’s fine, you don’t have long left at school anyway.” My mother shrugged off.

I leant forward in my seat at the back of the car and whispered in my dad’s ear “Should I be worried?”

“Oh, yeah.” He whispered back, making me gulp in horror.

-

With shaking hands I opened my car door, ready to start a new school day. My mother promised me that everything would be okay, as had Tara. But that still didn’t stop the very sick feeling that was rising in my stomach. I couldn’t eat breakfast, I couldn’t even think about breakfast.

I was scared. And that was no exaggeration. My stomach had butterflies and my heart was pounding, and I wasn’t even out of my driveway yet. Taking a deep breath I pulled away, my radio automatically turning on.

‘Underdog,
Just look at the mess you made
It’s such a shame, a shame,
We had to find out this way,
Revenge loves company
Three makes it a crowd
So wash your mouth,
And sit this one out’

I groaned at the lyrics. Why is it that my radio seems to know what is happening in my life? I swear it is on a personal hunt to drive me crazy.

‘And I’m down, down,
But definitely not out,
Yeah, what did you call me again?
A bet, I bet we don’t make it,
‘Cause I’ve never taken advice from my friends,
Friends in very high places,
They’re only making beds for themselves,
How very very selfish,
We’ll keep you in mind in the end’

I screeched to a halt, and screamed.

“Why. Do. You. Always. Understand. What. I. Am. Thinking?” I yelled at my radio, banging the dashboard with every word I spoke.

The radio just continued to throw You Me At Six back at me, making me even more irritated. I wasn’t even at school yet, and already this was one of my worst days.

I managed to make it to school without destroying my radio. But as I parked into my usual space I realised two things.

One, I realised that I was finally here. At school. And that I had no choice but to get out of my car and start a new day knowing full well that I had lost most of my friends and popularity.

And two, that everybody within a 10 mile radius was now staring at my car. I sighed to myself, and plucked up the courage to open my door. I picked up my bag from the passenger seat and threw it over my shoulder. I put one foot on the floor, one hand on the door, and greeted the world outside.

Silence. I gulped and slammed my door shut. Still silence. I shiftily made my way to the doors, all eyes on me. A cough echoed around the surroundings. I tried not to look at anyone.

What were they thinking? They all knew, that much was fucking clear. But just what were they thinking? They were probably all laughing at me. Gleefully watching as one of the most popular girls in the school suddenly became dirt in the gutter. Or maybe they were happy that actually, a popular girl was normal for once. Were they going to take sympathy on me because of what happened?

“Emo fucker!” someone screamed through the silence, causing half of the crowd to erupt into harsh laughter. I didn’t acknowledge it. I just kept my eyes firmly on the doors. Revealing to people that I was stronger than I looked.

As I entered the school the atmosphere was the same. Conversations were dropped as soon as people caught sight of me. I tried to casually walk to my locker, avoiding the smirking eyes of Cole and Rich. Avoiding the confused, stoned eyes of Seth and Percy. Even avoiding a pleasant smile that a younger girl offered. And instead just concentrated on where I was going.

It became apparent to me then, that no. Nobody was going to take sympathy on me. They were going to treat me like scum. Who cares if two days ago they wouldn’t dare even look at me? I was trash now. I was below them. They could treat me like shit and I wouldn’t even be able to stand up for myself.

“Shits really gone down, huh?” I heard a voice say to me from behind my locker door. Slamming it shut Frank’s puppy dog eyes looked at me with worry and pity.

“My life is over.” I bluntly stated, my voice cracking slightly.
“Oh, that is where you are wrong,” he smiled encouragingly “it has only just begun.”

He then flounced off, leaving me to stare after him, confused as to the meaning.

-

“You can talk to me, you know. I’m not going to hurt you.” I said casually in art class.

Gerard had been sat next to me stiffly all lesson, after trying to avoid me all day.

“I don’t really know what to say.” He admitted.
“How about ‘Hi, Elliott. How’s your day been?’” I suggested sarcastically, angrily scrubbing a blue pencil on my sketches.

“O-okay. Hi, Elliott. How’s your day been?”
“Well, let’s see. Everywhere I have gone people have stared and whispered like I’m some fucking alien. The football players find it hilarious to scream ‘Emo fucker’ whenever I am near them. For the first time in six years I was forced to eat lunch on my own because my best friend had cheerleading practice without me, and my boyfriend was off somewhere probably smoking even more weed despite the fact I’ve spent the last week trying desperately to stop him from doing so. I caught my parents arguing this morning about my health and whether they should move me back to England or not because of all this crap that happened yesterday. And nobody seems to care. So, all in all, Gerard. My day has been shit!”

“Well it’s not my fault that you told the whole fucking school we were together.” He spat back.
“No, you’re right. That was all my fault. It was completely my fault. But I just thought that maybe someone would actually care about me.”
“Elliott, how fucking selfish are you? Tara’s been worried about you all day, your parents have done nothing but look out for you, Frank and the guys have been protecting you and I’ve-“

“You’ve what, Gerard?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“I-“ I knew he was finding it difficult to think.
“You helped me yesterday when I was humiliated in front of the whole school? Oh no!” I laughed “You were at the fucking park smoking weed. And where were you last night? Snorting coke. And don’t tell me you weren’t because Mikey fucking saw you and told me. And where were you today when I needed you most? I don’t even fucking know!” I kept my voice in a whisper, but my eyes were burning.

Gerard looked guilty, but he wasn’t keen on admitting I was telling the truth.

“Elliott, you don’t understand what it’s like for me. Yeah, sure, you’ve lost your whole fucking reputation and shit, but I’m emba-“ he stopped as soon as he had started.

“You’re what?” I dared him to repeat, although I knew exactly what he was going to say.
“I-I’m...”
“Embarrassed? You’re fucking embarrassed by me? Why? Because I’m a cheerleader? I’m breaking your reputation as the emotionless suicide kid?” I regretted it as soon as I said it, but in all fairness he deserved it.

“I’ve been nothing but nice to you, Gerard. I’ve tried helping you, but you don’t even bother. You call me selfish, but you don’t give a damn about me.”
“You know that’s a fucking lie.” He said, sounding genuinely shocked at what I had said.
“Then why haven’t you listened to me? Why haven’t you stopped? Not just for me, Gerard. For Frank, for your parents, for Mikey? I’ve given this whole speech before, Gerard, but you just don’t care. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You don’t even bother to think about how Mikey feels right now. You want to know? He’s petrified of you. He thinks any minute you’re gunna drop dead in front of him because you’ve overdosed. He’s scared of saying the wrong thing to you in case you flip and try and hurt yourself again. And you know what? Every day I find myself worrying too. Because I’ve tried to help, and you say you’ll stop, but you don’t. You just don’t give a shit.”

I threw my pencil down in frustration and held my head in my hands.

“You’re being a cunt.” He simply said.
“So are you.” I replied.
“No I’m not. You’re just trying to blame anyone but yourself for all the shit you’ve caused.”
“I hate you sometimes.” I said, just before the bell rang.

“Y-you don’t mean that.” Gerard said, panicking as he watched me throw my bag over my shoulder.
“Gerard, one thing I have recently learned is to not say things you don’t mean. It only causes shit in the end.” I strutted away, ignoring Tara’s beckoning wave and Mr Escobar’s calls.

“The truth hurts just as much.” Gerard almost yelled, chasing after me down the corridor.

“It’s better than lying, Gerard,” I yelled back “You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?”

I sent him harsh glares before turning around again and pushing past people. Everyone was silent. The first time people had seen Gerard and I interact with each other, and we were having an argument.

Gerard caught my arm and spun me around.

“Elliott, please?” he whispered, cautious of the people around us.
“I’ll talk to you later.” I just said, turning around to go outside. Leaving him to stand and watch me disappear.

I was being a moody bitch, and I knew it. But I had every right to be. I was breaking. I had always been Elliott Haile, the girl who didn’t give a damn. She was always fun and bubbly, and never had any problems.

And now I was Elliott Haile. The unpopular emo fucker who is angry at anybody she interacts with. Her boyfriends a drug addict, her best friend is still a cheerleader, her parents are arguing, and she’s slowly crumbling. I’m slowly crumbling. Different aspects of my life are chipping away at me, and sooner or later I am going to break.

As I slammed my car door shut my phone sounded from my pocket.

Gerard:

I’m sorry.
I love you.
I mean it.

I sighed.

To: Gerard

I sorry,
I love you, too.
But it’s not enough when
You won’t help yourself

My life was turning into one of those shit teenage dramas. I don’t want people feeling sorry for me, I don’t want people thinking I’m depressed. I don’t want my boyfriend to suddenly be the only thing in my life. But I don’t have anything else to do apart from worry about him.

I need to kick start my life again.

‘Start to think it could all be fizzling out
Kinda shocked because I never really had any doubts
Look into your eyes, imagine life without ya

And the love kick starts again’

“Oh, be quiet, you.” I smiled to my radio, turning it off and driving home.