Opposites Always Attract.

“I can’t believe you’ve only got a month left of school!” my mum said the next morning, sipping her coffee.

I smiled slightly while swirling a teaspoon around my cup, not really wanting to think of that fact.

“Where’s dad, by the way?” I questioned, escaping the previous conversation and noticing that I hadn’t seen my dad all morning.

“Oh, he um - he left for work early this morning” all the while her brown eyes not making eye contact with me.

“How early?”
“As in five o’clock early...” she winced a little, noticing how bad it sounded.
“What?! Is this because of the argument you two had last night?”
“N-no-“
“Don’t lie to me!”
“Okay, so maybe he ran off this morning a little earlier than normal to think for a bit” she downed the last of her coffee and dumped it in the sink.

“Think about what?”
“I dunno...things!”
“What things?!”
“I don’t know, Elliott!” she said, her voice growing louder as she turned around to face me, her thin fingers clenching the kitchen counter.

I physically pulled away from her, nearly falling off of the bar stool I was sitting on.

“I don’t know!” she said, calming her voice down a little and raking a hand through her hair.
“What are you guys even fighting about?” I asked carefully “I-I mean it can’t all be about me, can it?”
My mother paused, thinking if she should tell me the true or not, but eventually she spoke “I want to move away from Belleville. It’s full of drunks and bitchy people”

“You’re the one who wanted to move to Be-“
“I know I was, okay? But it’s just – it’s too dangerous for you now, Elliott.”
“Dangerous?” I asked, a little laugh escaping.
“Yes, Elliott. Dangerous. I thought you were fine. This whole time, these whole three years I thought you were perfectly fine, but you’re not. You’re my only kid, honey. You’ll understand one day. Watching your own daughter get bullied and manipulated for three years, it’s awful. I never realised how bad it was until now. When we were in England we didn’t have this problem. You were safe, I trusted your friends and our neighbours and you could go to the park on your own without treading on syringes and empty beer bottles”

“Mum, I’m nearly eighteen, I’m not a-“
“Don’t you dare say that! You may think you’re an adult but you are anything but! You haven’t experienced half the things I have and I still have no clue about how the world works. You’re just a child, Elliott. Don’t try and argue because you know I’m right. I’ve tried to look past that. To be the cool mom who didn’t give a shit, but deep down I’m worried every second”
“But you’re my mum. Of course you’re gunna be worried”
“But it’s so hard, Elliott. Every second of the day I feel sick because I’m worried about you, and about your father. I grew up here, hon. And I cannot tell you how many bad things I saw. We’ve lasted this long but I just have this feeling that – just that it’s all going to hell”

A few tears escaped her eyes, and I felt awkward. She quickly wiped them away but I was still left astounded and what she was telling me. I had never seen this side to my mother. Only when her parents had died. This whole time I thought she was the strongest person on the planet. As thick as steel. But she’s not. She’s a vulnerable women who’s forgotten how to look after a family.

I wanted to comfort her. Tell her it was alright and that dad and I are fine...but I couldn’t because it would be a lie. She was right. Belleville was just too much. I was moving away in a month or so, ready to go to college. But still, my memories would always be here. My parents would still be here. I would always be coming back here and seeing the same school, the same parks and the same identical run down houses.

“Mum-“ I began, not quite sure how to comfort her “Listen. I-I know things have gone a bit tits up recently. And things haven’t been perfect...such as the blood incident. But I promise – I promise that if I ever need someone I will come directly to you. I know I seem a little worked up at the minute, but it’s just stress,” I offered her a smile “I’m just trying to sort things out. Y’know with Gerard and Tara and whatever. But I’m gunna be fine. We’re gunna be fine”

She chocked back her tears and smiled at me, nodding to show she listened to what I said. I gave her the tightest hug a human can give and told her I had to get to school.

While I drove I thought about the whole conversation, and that what I had told my mum was exactly what I needed to tell myself. I’m gunna be fine. We’re gunna me fine. After all, it’s just fucking High School.

-

“Elliott!” that familiar voice screamed. Turning around I was engulfed with her thin frame and sweet smelling perfume.

“Tara?” I said, my voice muffled by her shoulder.
“I’m sorry for being so distant recently. I’m so, so, so, so, so sorry!!” looking at her, her deer-like brown eyes were begging me for forgiveness.

“What are you talking about?” I grinned, a sudden weight lifted off of my shoulders once she was in my arms “You have nothing to be sorry for!”

She had jumped on me in the car park, I hadn’t even walked ten paces before she’d lunged. It was strange. Today was strange. So far my mother and Tara had apologised and seek for forgiveness. Was today the day? Was it all going to change? Was karma on my side for once? The list seemed to vibrate in my pocket with excitement at the thought of crossing another thing off.

“I do, though! I am so sorry. I dumped you for cheerleading, and I’m so, so, so sorry! When you weren’t at school yesterday I realised how much I missed my best friend. And I love you so much! And I’m never going to let you go, ever! We’ll be best friends even when we’re old ladies!”

I laughed and hugged her “You’re so daft. You’ve always been my best friend. But d-don’t push on my hip like that”

She stepped back alarmed “W-what, why?”

I lifted up my top to show her the white dressing, and she gasped “Oh my gosh, what happened? Where you stabbed? Shot?”

I laughed “No, Tara. I got a tattoo”
“You got a tattoo?!”
“Yeah! It’s so amazing, but I have to leave the dressing on for a little while. I get to take it off tomorrow!”
“Oh, whoa. How come you did that?”

I shrugged “felt like it”
“I wish I was that brave! Frank already has thre-“ she stopped, realising who she was talking about. Instead she lowered her head, looking sad.

“Cheer up, Tara. There are thousands of guys out there for you. Think about it – when you get to college there will be tons of new guys to fool around with”
“I don’t want them, though” she mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.
“Y-you’re seriously telling me you think Frank is the one?”

She looked at me with heartbroken eyes and I couldn’t help but let out a little snort “Oh, come on Tara. You’re in high school. Remember when you thought Seth was ‘the one’? And he turned out to be a massive twat?”
“But Frank’s not a twat”
“You’ll get over it, I’m sure”
“But I don’t want to!” she wailed “I don’t want to get over it!”
I awkwardly patted her on the back “O-okay, Tara. Well maybe you should talk to him about it?”
“What if he doesn’t listen?” she stared up at me like a child, and my heart melted a little.
“He will do, I’m sure of it” I smiled.

She smiled back and linked her arm with mine. Somehow it felt good to have my best friend in my arms. As I walked into the school I felt strangely optimistic, but also a little sad. I had spent so long here, walking in and out of this school without even admiring the concrete floor or the rotting bushes. Somehow I would miss this place, but then again I couldn’t wait to see the golden leaves and the conkers that littered the floors of London...

-

“Gerard, can you believe we’ve nearly finished?” I asked him, stealing the ink pen from his hand and using it instead.

“I know, seems like fuckin’ ages ago that we actually started this fucker” he pulled out another pen and began outlining our drawings.

“I know, it’s getting me all emotional” I teased, placing a hand to my heart.
“Seriously, though. Looking back I was actually such a dick towards you”
“As was I to you,” I laughed “not that I blame you. I was a bitch”
“Still are” he grumbled causing me to hit him lightly.
“Dick,” I said, adding afterwards “I still hate you” making us both laugh.

Today felt odd. Full of flashbacks and memories and optimism. I’d figured out why my parents were arguing, Tara was my friend again, Gerard and I were acting as if nothing in the past two weeks had actually happened. Almost like we were a normal couple, a couple in the movies who took strolls across parks as pretty music accompanied us. Who shared milkshakes and ice-cream and laughed enthusiastically at each other’s jokes. Who held hands and kissed in the rain.

Apart from our idea of romance was watching a gory film in his basement while drinking coffee as if it were going out of fashion.

Gerard and I continued light conversation until suddenly our principle walked into the room. Every conversation came to a deadly close as the room feel into silence.

“Sorry to disturb you, Mr Escobar,” sir nodded in acceptance “but I’m afraid I have some bad news. I’m sure you’ve all noticed that there is a student missing today, Seth Jones,” all heads turned towards the empty seat besides Tara. She didn’t look at all bothered that he wasn’t besides her, but also confused as to why the principle came all the way over to tell us this “Seth Jones was unfortunately found passed away this morning at his home,” audible gasps hung in the room “his mother has confirmed her wishes to allow the school to know the reason for his sudden and ill-fitting death. A drug overdose. It is upsetting to know such a talented and kind student feel to the disease of addiction. I could understand, Mr Escobar, if you would prefer to dismiss your class for the rest of the day to allow the news to sink in. The office is always open to those who feel shocked and upset by this news” he added, after noticing a particular girl already in tears.

He left the room, but it still remained silent. It was Mr Escobar who spoke first “U-uh, a-as Principle Wood has just said, feel f-free to leave if you need. I-if not just, uh, stay here”

He stood up and walked out, informing us he was going to see Miss Johnson and that he would be back in a few minutes. As soon as the door had clicked shut the room sat for a second longer before bursting into conversation.

“Oh my, God” Gerard simply said. Staring ahead of him in a daze “Whoa. Oh, my fucking God”

I couldn’t say a single word. I had experienced death, of course I had. Most people had. But for someone so young and carefree it was hard to imagine them dying. An overdose...we all knew the health risk of drugs but none of us would have thought it would come this far. I looked at Gerard, and he looked back. Our silent communication told us that Seth could easily have been Gerard if I had not intervened. And that’s when I hugged him so tightly and let the tears fall.

I never usually cry. Only at films and funerals. And I barely knew Seth, only as the boy who once liked Tara and gave me ecstasy that one time. But it was still sad and shocking. Was it accidental? On purpose? Was he alone? I choked into Gerard shoulder as I thought of Seth sat in his bedroom, slowly dying without any idea he wouldn’t wake up. It was so sad...so sad.

And then I realised...Tara. There she was, sat completely still. She hadn’t moved. Nobody was comforting her, nobody was talking to her. I gave Gerard one look, and he nodded.

Heading over to her I was almost scared of what I would see. But strangely there were no tears, no emotion on her face. Her eyes were just blank. She didn’t even seem to register that I was standing in front of her.

“Tara?” I whispered. She looked at me then, and when she saw my own watery eyes she broke down completely. She crumpled into my arms and she shook and wept. Her fingernails digging into my shirt as her tears damped my shoulder.

People were beginning to stare, so I whispered in her ear “want to find Frank?”

I felt her head move against my chest telling me “yes”. From across the room I looked at Gerard, and he looked at me. I motioned to the door and he nodded. Grabbing both of our bags we exited the classroom and into the deserted hall.

Tara clung to me, as we began to walk I couldn’t tell why she was hanging so tightly, and then I realised her legs were shaking so much that she could barely walk. I let her go and took the bags off of Gerard, without a word he scooped her up and carried her the rest of the way.

Tara never did deal with death that well.