Destined to Explode

I’m still laughing as I walk away from the Merrick household, Zack and his parents amusing me to no end, despite the fact I’d only been in the house five minutes, in order to quickly deliver my presents to the boy and his family, wanting to get round everyone possible before it got too late in the day, seeing as I just wanted to go back to bed and sleep off the cold I’d developed.
Rian and Cass already had their gifts, having left us until a few days after Christmas in order for Rian to keep his promise to alternate between their families.
Alex hadn’t been in when I’d called round, nor did answer his cell, so his present was sat under his parents tree seeing as I knew that was where he was spending the holiday, Isobel and Peter not having let me leave their house until I caught them up with my life, and I was surprised to realise that Alex hadn’t told them of Rick.
Jack was picking his, May’s, Joe’s and his parents up the next morning, re-kindling the old tradition of us spending Christmas Eve with me, seeing as we all liked to spend the actual day with out own little family units, mine being the smallest.

The house is empty but warm when I finally get back, and instead of fussing around making sure everything was ready for the next few days, I lock the door, close the majority of the blinds and clamber up the stairs to my make-shift room, shuffling under the many blankets still clothed in my sweats and a hoody, ignoring my own mental scolding of not being able to feel the benefits when I wake up, because I was beginning to feel that under the weather right now, and I was determined to be healthy for Christmas.

A few hours of barely sleeping, I’m awoken from what I thought was a half slumber by incessant licking on my cheek, and I barely even have to open my eyes to know it’s Sebastian, because other than Alex, no one else has a dog that they’d willingly let wake someone up.

“You’re a douche.” I mumble into my pillow, having face-planted in a tantrum to actually slip into a dream world, “Get your dog off my comforter, Lex.”

“But I brought Baz to make you feel better. Parents said you looked poorly when you dropped my presents off.”

I smile a little at the English tint that re-enters his accent on the word ‘poorly’, but it disappears when my body tenses in response to him moving my blankets, “As much as I appreciate your concern, move those covers and I will punch you. I’m too fucking comfortable to deal with your childish shit.”

“Grumpy bitch, I’m joining you.” He laughs, as I feel him kick around under the covers, hitting my leg with his cold feet, “Oops.”

“I’ll oops you in a minute, love, either come here and cuddle or get out of my house.” I’ve already closed my eyes again when Alex finally stops shuffling and wraps an arm over my back, smashing his face into the same pillow I‘ve got mine resting on, Baz getting the idea and settling by our feet.

“This is ridiculously romantic of me you know?” Alex keeps his voice quiet in the peaceful room.

“Yeah, but you could have brought me soup.”

-----

“Say nighty-night and kiss me; just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me. When I’m alone, blue as can be, dream a little dream of me.” Alex voice had always suited the song, and once I’d told him that a few times, he’d always sing it to me when I couldn’t sleep, “Stars fading but I linger on, dear, still craving your kiss. I’m longing to linger till dawn, dear, just saying this-.”

“That's meant to send me to sleep, not wake me up, Lex.” I smile into the pillow, eyes still closed as I bask in the fact I’d gotten some decent sleep, “Stop watching me sleep, it’s creepy.”

“It’s just nice to see you sleeping.” Alex keeps his voice hushed, “Your Mom’s home by the way. She came in to check on you and had a mini freak about Baz being on the bed and me leaving the door on the latch.”

I laugh quietly, shaking my head as I open my eyes and look up at him, “I hope you didn’t listen to her.” I smirk, “A bed suggests more than I mattress on the floor in my eyes, so Baz stays where he wants.”

“What are you doing about the all furniture that we left at your apartment? I know Marky and the others cleared into a storage unit but, are you just gonna leave it or…” Alex asks as he sits up against the wall, Baz immediately changing position so this time he can lay in Alex’s lap.

“I’m gonna start looking for somewhere else to live.” I smile, “Except for Jack, who I think will live with Joyce and Bassam till he’s 50, I’m the only one living at home now.”

“You’ve only been here a week.” He chuckles, “Someone likes to be independent now, huh?”

I shrug, “It’s not that I prefer to live alone, I just prefer not to have my Mother breathing down by back like she is. I’m 22, I don’t need her getting prissy because my friend came over, or because I didn’t get home last night.”

“She’s probably just worried about you, you know? You might have already buried Rick away but to everyone else, it’s at the fore front of our minds all the time.”

“Why does Rick always have to come up, Alex? I’ve been here three weeks almost now, so can you just leave it well alone?” I scoff, rolling my eyes as I roll over to get out of the bed, “Is he just gonna pop up into every conversation we have? I’d like fore warning.”

“Poppy.” Alex says calmly, gracefully unfolding himself so he can stand up and follow my steps to where I’m looking through my closet for no reason, “Stop being so defensive. Stop acting like it hasn’t hurt you. Stop pushing people Stop pushing me away.”