Destined to Explode

“What’s up Gaskarth?” I grin as he slips out of his house and into my waiting car, visibly shivering after his few seconds in the open air, despite the heat blowing from my heaters and his three layers of clothing, “Where’d you say we’re going again?”

“You know the little café we all used to ambush after school? Old creepy guy runs it, but they do really good cake?”

“Attman’s? That’s all the way in Lutherville, Lex.” I laugh, pulling out of his drive despite the fact I‘d told Alex that going for lunch was fine as long as I got back to mine in time to get ready for the party later on, “You better be paying me gas money after this.”

“I’ll even pay for our food, how’s that sound?” He offers, fiddling with the wires attached to my dashboard, apparently trying to find the right one to connect my iPod to, immediately flicking through my collection of music before he switches on Jack’s Mannequin.

“Like you’re a sucker, but I’ll go for it.” I poke my tongue out in his direction as I keep my eyes on the road, the heavy traffic needing my full attention, seeing as a Baltimore drivers seem to love pulling dangerous maneuvers while I’m on the road.

Alex talks constantly about the party he and Rian are hosting tonight, in celebration of the New Year, explaining how they’ve done it for past few years and how it’s always a lot of fun and a ton of people show up, including total strangers, but they don’t care as long as they’re gone in the morning.
I nod along, smiling and laughing as Alex occasionally slips into memories of things people had done in their drunken, New Year spirit, including Jack stripping and running for 4 blocks before anyone could stop him.

“There it is, on the right.” Alex grins, clapping his hand like a child, and I raise my eyebrows as he practically bounces in his seat as I pull up outside, “I’ve been craving the strawberry cake for weeks.”

“And you didn’t drive up here yourself, because…”

“No one would come with me.” He pouts, “But then I decided that I didn’t need to ask you, because you like me, and don’t think I’m an idiot for wanting to come up here.”

“I never said you weren’t an idiot, Lex, this is just how you are, I’m used to it.”

“Oi!”

I laugh as I hear his call, even though I’m already out of the car, door shut and waiting on the sidewalk for him to join me, but he just gapes at me through the window, the gaping fish look turning into a smirk as he watches me shiver in the wind and now, snow.
He does finally join me, arm swinging over my shoulder as he leads me into the small shop, shooing me over to the table by the window - the one we used to fight over with other kids from our school - as he goes to order our goodies and some hot cocoa.
We manage to talk for hours, the conversation never strained, but always changing direction, the subjects going from how everyone was in school, to what I was going to do about somewhere to live and back again, the woman serving, constantly re-filling our drinks, free of charge as when Alex goes to pay again, while I wait by the door, she shoos him off with a comment of ‘On the house for the lovely couple’.

I know I’m blushing when Alex strides over to my side, smirk on his face as I shake my head with narrow eyes, pointing an accusing finger at his chest, “Why do people keep doing that? It’s not like we were sucking face all the time.”

He shrugs, “We clearly have chemistry.”

----

“Poppy Jamila Zicarelli, if you don’t get your skinny, drunken ass downstairs two minutes ago-.”

“I’m right here, douche bag.” I laugh at Jack from the top of the stairs, throwing my arms up in an exaggerated way to show the dress I’d bought especially for this year New Years party, which had already consisted of a quiet meal between Alex and I earlier in the day, and then the two bottles of wine Jack had brought round when he’d come to escort me to Alex and Rian’s house, “Look OK?”

“Alex won’t be able to keep his hands off.” Jack winks before laughing with a hiccup, his slightly drunken state shining through, “Seriously though, you look gorgeous - I don’t know where you get it from.”

“Certainly not your side of the family.” I snort, flicking his nose with an innocent grin, “Ready to go now?”

“Yeah, you got all the shit you need too, right? I don‘t want you whining at me half way there, telling me you forgot your phone or something”

“I‘m way more organized than you think I am. I dropped my bag off at Alex’s earlier, with the drinks we bought, so now you only have to get me there safely.”

“I’ll see what I can do, m’lady.” He offers me his arm to link mine with, and we finally leave the house, waving to our parents, as well as the rest of the guys, and most of the crews, seeing as my house was the host place for the ‘adults’ party, while we were all being ridiculous 6 blocks over. “Sooo, Popsicle, what’s happening between you and Gaskarth then?”

Typical Jack. So blunt and to the point.

“Well, if you must know, Gossip Girl, nothing at all.”

“But you guys were attached at the, um, lips, a week ago.”

I shrug, “Nothing’s really happened since. We talked about the possibility of the two of us getting together on Christmas Eve, but nothing since. I mean, there‘s been some crude comments and then Alex was determined we were going to fuck when he got drunk at the Christmas party, but nothing serious.” I sigh, head down, following the movement of Jack‘s untied lace as we walk, “I didn’t think I wanted anything to happen when we ended up making out in your yard, but I just feel better when I’m around him. It feels normal to be ‘couple-y’ with him.”

“Then I say go for it. Alex is fucking besotted with you and always has been, so you don’t need to worry about him not feeling the same. All this is down to you now, little cousin.” He grins, bumping his hip with mine, “Be fucking cliché and kiss him at midnight.”

I know Jack is joking, but how else am I going to basically tell Alex that I want something more than this shit between friends and something more, without just throwing myself at him?