Destined to Explode

“What’s up Jackary?” I smile as I enter the bus, my duties for the day done and sorted so now it was my down time and apparently Jack’s too, “Want a water?”

He shakes his head and holds up his grape soda, “You done for the day?”

“Yeah, I’ll probably go do a last minute count in about five, but for now, finished.” I grin, sliding into the seat opposite him, putting my radio back in the charging dock, “I thought you guys had an interview right about now?”

He shrugs, “They just wanted Rian and Alex so I’m making the most of it.”

“Ah, well, quality time with your cousin then.” I nudge his leg beneath the table, “You alright, Jacko?”

“Can I talk you about something?”

I raise an eyebrow as I take a sip of the water, “Shoot.”

“It’s uhm, about Alex.”

“Right... What about him?”

“You’re going to fucking lose your head but whatever.” He sighs as he leans forward over the table, “I know this is ridiculous, but I’m only doing it because I love you, OK?”

“Jack, just get on with it.” I was already losing my rag, I knew what was coming, some sort of warning about how Alex was going to hurt me and I should be careful and all the rest of the shit that had spewed from my Mothers mouth a few months ago.

“Look, right, I’m not trying to split you up, I know you’re both happy but I just don’t want you getting hurt. You know first hand what he’s done in the past, you’ve been a part of it, and I’m not saying he’ll do it again, but there is that chance. You’re not always going to be on tour with us, you know? And he tries, he does, but sometimes he just, slips?”

“I’m not an idiot, Jack, I know who he is and what he’s done and what he’s capable of doing, and maybe I am stupid for trusting him, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do. If he does something and he tells me, then fine, we’ll probably work through it but the only way we’re going break up is if one of us isn’t happy or he thinks he can lie to me.”

“But he can lie, Poppy. He cheated on Lisa god knows how many times and she never found out unless someone told her, and I’m sorry, but I don’t think anyone will tell you, we’d all hate to see you hurt. I don‘t want to see you become the girl who just lets her boyfriend cheat because it comes with the lifestyle.”

“But doesn’t it, Jack?” I lift my gaze from the mock-marble to meet his worried eyes, “Don’t groupies and band sluts come with the territory? Isn’t that your fucking reward for touring so much?”

“Poppy-.”

“No Jack, I’ve got what, maybe two weeks left with you guys because I can’t fucking go to Europe and you’re dumping all this on me now? Couldn’t it have waited? Or are you trying to tell me, without telling me, that all this bullshit has already happened? Is that it? Did Alex fuck someone else while I was away?”

“No, Poppy, I was just-.”

“hen why bring it up? I’m going to go see if I can help anyone else.”

I leave then, and quickly, only stopping to grab my water bottle and the jacket I‘d slung on the other couch, slamming the bus door as I go and barely giving the security time to see my ID before I push past and back into the mayhem.

I don’t actually intend to help anyone much, by this time the only things that are left to do is the electrics with Jeff’s lights and he had his own little crew to do that with him. I instead go take a seat by Evan, who’s still messing with his soundboard, putting together the play list for the interval.

“Evening Poppy.”

“Yeah.” I mumble,looking around the room to see if there's something interesting I can focus on, but there isn't, “You wanna go grab some dinner or something?”

“Subway sound good?”

“Yeah, just come get me when you’re ready.” I traipse on over to Vinny who’s just sitting back behind the merch table, feet kicked up as he plays on his phone, “Vin, you up for some sandwiches?”

“Yo, you not gonna wait for your boy? Matt just text and they’re on their way back now.”

I send him a shrug as a reply, instead just walking away, leaving Evan too as I exit through the back, zipping up my jacket and pulling the hood up as I walk onto the street, knowing the center of town is only a few blocks away and that means food.

I’m not mad at anyone, not even Jack who stuck me in this mood but I wanted to get away from that drama and knowing Vinny and Evan they’d spend so long preparing to go that Alex would be back and he’d join us, notice something was wrong and we’d end up in an argument ourselves.
Walking off by myself is the lesser of the two evils.

-----

Starbucks is the first place I come across where I can eat something that classes as a meal, so with an order of a Panini and a White Chocolate Mocha, I take a seat towards the back, smiling as I see some of the customers dressed in All Time Low shirts, chatting animatedly over their drinks.
I’m just taking my last bite of the Panini as my phone rings, Alex’s name and face flashing across the screen and I hesitate before I answer, thinking maybe that I should just let it ring through and make my way back to the venue.

“Hello?” I answer quietly, leaning back in my chair a little.

“Where’ve you disappeared too, babe?” Alex’s happy voices answers, “Evan’s pretty upset that you bailed on your date.”

“He’ll get over it.” I snort, “I’m just leaving Starbucks.”

“Well, stay there, we’ll come meet you.”

“There’s a nice, sizeable group of your fans here if you really wanna risk it.” I tease, looking over as more, not so obvious fans wander into the café.

“Maybe we’ll get a runner to go grab some McDonald's or something.” He laughs, “You’ll be back soon then?”

“Yeah, soon, Lex.”

“I’ll send a search party if not.” He chuckles, “See you soon, Pop.”

I hang up, wandering on over back to the counter and basically buying what’s left of their cake stock to take back with me to the venue for everyone, to somewhat make up for my short disappearance, which I extend when I decide that I have a few hours before I need to be back and wander around the town before I head back in the direction of the venue.

“Well, look who finally got back.” Colussy cheers as I enter the backstage area, he looking over some sort of checklist, “Everyone’s in the dressing room.”

I enter quietly, Jack and Alex both standing up immediately as I do, and I raise an eyebrow at them both as I throw both the bags of goodies down onto the table in the middle of the room, “Problem, boys?”

Jack goes to speak but stops as Alex steps over everyone else, almost tripping over Zack’s legs before he manages to tug me back out of the room and down the hall, “The fuck, Poppy?”

“What?”

“You just wandered off, without telling anyone where, and without someone else with you. What happened to soon? Is your phone broken as well?”

I laugh in almost shock, as I shake my head, “I’m not the famous one here, Alex, I don’t need a bodyguard to trail around with me, your fans don’t tend to throw themselves at me, you know? ”

Alex’s brow furrows as I keep his stare, “What’s gotten into you?”

I shake my head again, “Nothing.”

“Poppy.” He nudges me back until I’m leant against the wall, crowding me against it, “What is going on? Jack’s been fucking edgy and Cass has no idea what’s happened. So, tell me.”

He ducks down until I meet his gaze, questioning me again, this time with a squeeze of my hand, “Alex, later? Please?”

“Now.”

There’s some stubborn moments of silence between us as Alex continues to hold me against the wall and I decide how I’m supposed to put my following statement.

“Jack and I, we had an argument and I walked off. That’s it.”

“And the argument was about?”

“You.”