Destined to Explode

It’s two days later when Jack and I finally speak.

Everyone, bar me and Alex had gone into the venue when Matt had announced the presence of a few ping pong table’s in the dressing room, the activity a change from being stuck on the bus during down time or traipsing around the venue trying to come up with things to pass the time.

I had been trying to nap off a headache when everyone else had left in an excited gaggle, the curtain of the bunk being caught in the draft they caused, Alex taking the disturbance as I sign that I’m mostly awake now, only having to shoot me a smile in persuasion to come watch him play some crap video games.

So apparently two weeks away from each other, followed by two weeks of abstaining from actual sex has taken it’s toll on both of us, because within ten minutes of being alone, I’m straddling Alex’s lap, his hands are roaming anywhere they can reach and our mouths are securely attached.

It’s an uncomfortable little cough that has us breaking apart, Alex throwing his head back against the wall with a groan while I let out a huff of air before I turn around.

Jack’s stood there looking less than happy, both hands in pockets as I slide to sit on the seat next to Alex, both of us looking like guilty teenagers under my cousins gaze.

“Poppy, can I, uh, talk to you, please?”

It was a pretty reasonable request seeing as we hadn’t spoken a word to each other since I walked out on him the other day, but I just didn’t want a repeat of the same argument.
It was odd to have not spoken to Jack for that long a period, even when I was in a different state we’d swap a few texts each day just to keep up with each other.

“I’ll go kick some ass at ping pong.” Alex excuses himself, getting up from beside me quickly, only stopping to press a peck to my lips, “See you in a little bit.”

He practically sprints out of the bus, clearly not wanting to be stuck in the awkward tension that Jack and I being in the same room had created.

“I’m sorry, OK? I should have just kept my mouth closed.” Jack collapses onto the couch opposite, all the energy seeming to just disappear from his body, “I can not stand fighting with you any longer.”

“You know, I only got so pissed because I’d just found out about having to stay here? I get that me and Alex don’t seem like a secure kind of couple.”

“I still should have refrained from just word vomiting about it all. I have this thing about you two toying with each others hearts.”

“But we’re not stupid teenagers anymore Jack. We’ve both been in mature relationships, and this just isn’t me and him messing around again, you know?”

“I know, I know. It just feels similar to it, that’s all. Just, sorry, yeah?”

“Well, I’m sorry I flipped my lid. I still love you Jackary.”

“I should hope so.” He chuckles, holding a hand across the space and pulling me to practically sit on his lap as I give him mine, laughing as he hugs me, “Missed you Zicarelli.”

“Feeling’s mutual, Barakitty.”

------

You know when you repeat a word over and over and starts to loose meaning until you don’t remember why you were repeating it for in the first place?

Or someone randomly comes out with a sentence that has no relevance to the conversation you’re having and act like it’s perfectly normal?

That’s how my head felt today.

If that is actually a feeling.

I guess it could be categorized as confusion, but then I was distracted at the same time.

Every time someone tells me to do something, it doesn’t click in my brain straight away and then I have to trail after them asking them to repeat themselves.
I have to recount merch numerous times as I keep losing where I am, my mind slipping elsewhere while I’m trying to compete the simple task and I get so frustrated with it that Vinny does it for me, sending me to go chill out for five minutes.

I can’t even put my finger on why I’m so distracted. I had been fine earlier in the day, things were back to normal with Jack now and there was nothing special associated with the date that I could remember, nor the state.

It practically hits me in the face later in the day and I feel like slapping myself silly for even contemplating forgetting. Once I tell Vinny, he bursts out laughing, shooing me off backstage so it’s quieter.
I’m chewing on my lip when my call is finally answered.

“Mom! Happy Birthday!” I try to act like I hadn’t totally forgotten that it was her birthday, ready with excuses of being busy and something dramatic happening to try and calm her when she blew up about calling her so late.

“It’s actually passed midnight here.” My Mother huffs in reply, no thank you or even a hello, just a monotone voice.

“It has been so hectic today, Mom. Alex-.”

“I don’t care what that boy did, you could have at least sent me a text, Poppy.”

“Honestly Mom, there was literally no time for me too-.”

“But you had enough time to tweet, or twat, or whatever you call it. Yes, I have May check that website for me, otherwise I wouldn’t even know if you were still alive. ”

“Mom-.”

“Call me back when you have time for me, Poppy.”

And then the line is dead again.
Just great.

It was such a pathetic little argument, in my opinion anyway, sure, I hadn’t exactly kept in contact, but we had fallen out before I left for tour again and it wasn’t like I ignored her calls when she actually rang me instead of the other way around. It was just partially difficult to remember to call her when people were keeping me busy and I was trying to make the most of my time traveling around all these new states.
I don’t know how everybody else does it - maybe because this was my first tour where I was busy from the moment I got up until I went to sleep, it was more difficult for me, but I’d heard of no one else who had had their ear bitten of my their mother for not calling.

It was probably a good thing I wasn’t going to Europe after all.