Destined to Explode

I barely recognise my own voice as I screech for Alex, just as Rick lunges towards me, face contorted in anger as he barrels my way.
Now, Alex had always looked lanky too me, but when he sprints into the room, and his eyes widen at the sight of Rick, who’s a body builder in comparison, he looks tiny.

“The fuck?!” He exclaims, striding over with more confidence than I’d ever seen him have, even on stage, pulling at the man who’d been trying to grab for my throat and shoving him back towards the lounge, following after the now stumbling man, before he swiftly punches him straight in the nose.

“That’s right, Poppy, have someone else fight your battles.” Rick mumbles around his hand as his nose steadily flows blood.

I can just tell that Alex is rolling his eyes as he steps forward more, crossing his arms over his chest as he defends me, “I think it’d be a good idea if you left now, Rick, is it?”

“What are you gonna do about it, faggot?”

With a shake of his head, Alex sighs, “I just want you to leave, OK? I’m not going to do anything.”

“Rick, please, leave.”

Alex’s head whips around, eyes glaring at me as I let my feet take me towards Rick, but Alex grabs hold of my shoulder, tugging me away again, “What are you doing?”

“Just- Just let me deal with this, yeah?” I squeeze his hand as I take it from my shoulder, pushing it back to his side as I fold my hand around Rick’s jacket pocket, dragging him out of the apartment with a few quick moments, “Rick, just shut up and go home, OK? I’ll come see you tomorrow, when you’re sober.”

“It’s not going to be pleasant.”

I watch him stumble down the concrete stairs, waiting with baited breath for the heavy front door of the apartment complex to slam closed and the latch to click.

“I hope you don’t expect me to actually let you go see him tomorrow.” Alex voices startles me, and I drop my head in shame, “I’m not an idiot, Poppy, I wasn’t going to let you come out here with him and not be on hand.”

“He just needs to sober up.”

“I can’t believe you’re defending him.” He scolds, “Not only has he royally fucked up your face, but he was trying to strangle you and god knows what else.”

“I just wanna go back to bed, OK? If you’re going to sit and rant about making stupid decisions, can you save it until tomorrow?”

“Poppy.” He laughs in disbelief, “Tomorrow, we’re packing your shit up and we’re going back to Baltimore. I couldn’t give a shit about work, bills and all the other fucking excuses you can come up with, we’re leaving!”

“That eager to see Lisa, are we?” I know it’s a low blow as soon my mouth forms the first syllable, but I can’t stop myself, “Yeah, I didn’t mean that.”

Alex just shakes his head, tucking a piece of hair back behind my ear as he stops just short of my bedroom door, “I know you didn’t, but for the record, until you’re OK, I won’t be straying to far from your side. You‘re incredibly brave on the outside, Poppy, but I can tell when you‘re petrified. Rick scares me to, alright? So, do us both a favour and let me feel like the hero and whisk you away.”

----

“OK, so, Mark agreed to send a ton of GK stuff to my house, so you can sell it on tour, when we go. You’ll get paid as usual too. Um, I paid your landlord an extra month of rent to get you out of here without any trouble, and I’m pretty sure you were up to date on your bills.” Alex grins as he walks back into apartment a few hours after leaving, “Marky also says ‘thank you for finally getting away from it.’ or something.”

“Yeah.”

Mark had figured out what was happening with Rick a while ago, after I’d showed up at work with finger shaped bruises across my neck and nothing to hide them with.

“Have you decided how to tell Jack yet?” He smiles gently, “The kid will figure out soon enough if you don’t anyway, so make it easy on yourself.”

“Can we just leave, please?” I sigh, scratching at my arm, my own nervous trait finally beginning to surface, as I glance around the still full furnished apartment, the only things missing are the things that are personal or that we can fit into the back of my car.

The thought of telling Jack, who was literally like a brother to me, was genuinely scaring me out of my wits.
My heart was telling me that he wouldn’t be mad, that he’d be more worried about my health, and angry at Rick, who had never liked, in the two years we’d be on and off dating.
My brain, on the other hand, just kept thinking about all the scenarios of him screaming at me for being so stupid, yelling that I deserved it if I wasn’t going to tell anyone about it.

“Yeah, come on, Kiddo.” He grabs my hand from scratching the skin away, “Don’t be all reserved on me now, alright? This is a long drive and I need you to be saying shit to keep me laughing.”

“He’s going to be so mad.” I ponder out loud as I chew my lip, following Alex around my apartment like a lost puppy as he collects both our cell phones and other technical gadgets, he’d deemed suitable to leave out of the hectic box packing we‘d done at barely 7 that morning.

“You don’t have to see him again, ever.” Alex stops me in my tracks as he turns, the back of his empty hand running over my cheek before he leans to press a kiss to my forehead, “He probably doesn’t have the brain capacity to even think that you’d go back home, so don’t worry about him showing up in Baltimore. Now, I don‘t know how messed up all this shit has made you, or if you‘ve taken it all in your stride, but listen Poppy, in all seriousness, when we get back, if you ever want to talk, or cry, or shout, I‘ll only be a phone call away.”

“I’m fine, really, Alex.”

…and that makes me a liar