Chronology of Me
January 1, 2003
Dear Diary,
Today is New Year's day. Last night we shot off fireworks and I stayed up until 9pm. Last night I also got back from Virginia. I went to see my friend. Today I started reading the book I Sailed with Columbus. I got to page 31. Debbie has been cleaning up but for today there is still more in store.
Yours truly,
Shaun.
_______________________________________
Seems innocent enough, doesn't it? Well don't get too cozy with the fact, because shortly after, my brain became a really fucked up place, if it wasn't already that way.
Maybe you should know some things about me.
My name is Shaun.
I am 19.
I am adopted.
I am not the product of a faulty marriage, or a consequence of failed birth control. My parents did not choose to put me on the adoption market; in fact, they aren't the ones that did it at all.
I was automatically put there when they died.
I know very little about how they died, I just remember the heavy feelings of dread that still cling to my flesh even today.
I have very vague memories of my real mother... I remember her chocolate brown eyes, I remember her warm embrace, I remember her little dress that was littered in blue flowers.
Mainly though, I remember that I loved her.
My father, I remember he laughed a lot and I remember that when we watched TV, he would bend his legs into a little "boat" and let me sit behind them.
I remember a common question for school essays was: "If you could have one wish, what would it be?"
My one wish would to just be able to have more memories of my parents. To have been able to have the bonding experiences that so many kids do get to have. Would I wish them back? No, because in my head, it seems like as soon as they got here, I would just lose them again.
Despite the fact that I lost my parents at a young age, my life didn't really get traumatic until Junior High, and it didn't get extremely fucked up until my 8th grade year. That year things happened that have permanently scarred me for life.
Junior High was just a reign of pure hell for me, as it is for many kids, but some of the things that happened to me were unusual and fucked up.
Maybe those things will come out as this thing goes... who knows?
Today is New Year's day. Last night we shot off fireworks and I stayed up until 9pm. Last night I also got back from Virginia. I went to see my friend. Today I started reading the book I Sailed with Columbus. I got to page 31. Debbie has been cleaning up but for today there is still more in store.
Yours truly,
Shaun.
_______________________________________
Seems innocent enough, doesn't it? Well don't get too cozy with the fact, because shortly after, my brain became a really fucked up place, if it wasn't already that way.
Maybe you should know some things about me.
My name is Shaun.
I am 19.
I am adopted.
I am not the product of a faulty marriage, or a consequence of failed birth control. My parents did not choose to put me on the adoption market; in fact, they aren't the ones that did it at all.
I was automatically put there when they died.
I know very little about how they died, I just remember the heavy feelings of dread that still cling to my flesh even today.
I have very vague memories of my real mother... I remember her chocolate brown eyes, I remember her warm embrace, I remember her little dress that was littered in blue flowers.
Mainly though, I remember that I loved her.
My father, I remember he laughed a lot and I remember that when we watched TV, he would bend his legs into a little "boat" and let me sit behind them.
I remember a common question for school essays was: "If you could have one wish, what would it be?"
My one wish would to just be able to have more memories of my parents. To have been able to have the bonding experiences that so many kids do get to have. Would I wish them back? No, because in my head, it seems like as soon as they got here, I would just lose them again.
Despite the fact that I lost my parents at a young age, my life didn't really get traumatic until Junior High, and it didn't get extremely fucked up until my 8th grade year. That year things happened that have permanently scarred me for life.
Junior High was just a reign of pure hell for me, as it is for many kids, but some of the things that happened to me were unusual and fucked up.
Maybe those things will come out as this thing goes... who knows?
♠ ♠ ♠
So if you couldn't figure it out the first part was my first ever journal entry and the second part was present day stuff... just a bit of an introduction before I throw you into my head.Comment if you want.
-Shaun